Brandon Harker recently returned to his home state of Washington after a nine-month deployment to Afghanistan and wanted nothing more than to hug and pet his beloved dog Oakley.

A horrifying daytime attack by local terrorists armed with meat cleavers took the life of U.K. soldier Lee Rigby, who was butchered and left dead in the street in southeast London. The crazed killers shouted "Allahu Akbar" after completing their grisly crime and then demanded stunned passers-by take video.

Following the U.S. Army's establishment of a wuss workout program and, more broadly, the year-long erosion of American masculinity, it's little wonder that our nation's fighting forces are now more concerned with eyebrow grooming than with removing the digits of enemy soldiers to bring home as souvenirs. Is America's…

Remember Specialist Jeremy Morlock, the 22-year-old Alaskan who took horrifying photos of his own war crimes? He's now pleaded guilty to three counts of murder and has been sentenced to 24 years in jail; in exchange, essentially, for not getting a life sentence, he'll testify against the four other soldiers also…

Not to be all shallow, but we really want to know who this hot young stage-taker is that lead the chanting at the Viacom walk-out today! We would so share our 401K with him. (If we weren't also contract workers and if we had a 401K. Or, really, knew what one was.) More pictures of the walkout here.