somali pirates

posts about #somalipirates more →
Somali Pirate Kidnapping of Kindly Brits Sure to End Poorly
Only Thousands of Miles From Your Bathtub
Somali Pirates Need Mood Stabilizers
Will Not End Well
The Case of the Missing Booty
Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
Pirates: Not So Tough After All
Caterwauling Marauder Led to Slaughter: Keening Corsair Is Tabloid Fodder
Grinning Pirate Is the Toast of NYC
The Cause of and Solution To Piracy: Women

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War Cats!
10/27/09

In reply to Somali Pirate Kidnapping of Kindly Brits Sure to End Poorly
Jesus, Reuters' Mogadishu bureau must be going crazy over this.
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Edited by War Cats! at 10/27/09 10:37 AM War Cats! was starred War Cats! was unstarred

New Gonzo Drifter
10/27/09

@War Cats!: Ha, ha -- that's funny. No news outlet has a bureau in the Mog, as all of the bureaus are in Nairobi, next door in Kenya. All of the news outlets have stringers based in Mog, to which the wires and major papers simply dateline the stories out of ... #somalipirates
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miss_msry promoted this comment New Gonzo Drifter was starred

miss_msry
10/27/09

@NewGonzo:

The journos jet in every morning, then jet back to Nairobi for happy hour.

At least that's what my hubby told me he did. #somalipirates
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son of spam
10/27/09

@NewGonzo: Stop sending me all of those emails. #somalipirates
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New Gonzo Drifter
10/27/09

@son of spam: Funny! #somalipirates
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New Gonzo Drifter was starred

New Gonzo Drifter
10/27/09

@miss_msry: Well, as a print correspondent (and photojournalist) who spent several years covering the region while based in both Kenya and Ethiopia, and having covered much of the fracas in the last few years, I can tell you NO ONE has "jetted" into Mogadishu every morning and made it back to Nairobi for happy hour in least 20 years. You hubby must be at least 50 years old, English or Italian, and a bold-faced teller of non truths.

That's a wild yarn to get laid, which you must have fell for when you met him.

"Oh, indeed, dear! My mates and I would secure a plane to take us into the northern part of the Mog when the day's fighting would erupt, and we would get our story, you see, love? And then we would be back for Sundowners at The Talisman by 5 every afta-noon ... the Rover was always cleaned and ready to go at Wilson (airport), you see, love, and Wamwara would always be waiting paitently to drive us back to the Talisman's bar! Wonda-ful days, indeed ... would you like to go back to my place for a drink, love?"

Terms of reference:

The Talisman: a restaurant/bar in the Karen district of Nairobi.

Rover: Range Rover or Land Rover

Wilson Airport: the other airport in Nairobi, as opposed to Jomo Kenyatta International Airport (most flights to and from Somalia originate out of Wilson, where there is a significant military presence)

Wamwara: Kenyan male name

But ha, ha -- ha! #somalipirates
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War Cats!
10/27/09

@NewGonzo: Oh come on now. You couldn't possibly think that I was being serious. Seriously, was the joke that bad?
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Edited by War Cats! at 10/27/09 9:01 PM War Cats! was starred War Cats! was unstarred

New Gonzo Drifter
10/28/09

@War Cats!: My bad! I'm new at commenting on here and am still wading through the fiction vs. non-fiction. New Gonzo! #somalipirates
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miss_msry
10/28/09

@NewGonzo:

Well, your right about his age and it was almost 20 years ago, but he wasn't network or expat freelance. He and the reporter only stayed about 10 days as they were there to cover Texas troops only, not the whole political situation.

I'm not sure, but this was a PR military junket. He flew by military, sleeping in a sleeping bag, etc.

We were already married so this didn't impress me much.

Otherwise, ha, ha -- ha. #somalipirates
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goetz
10/27/09

In reply to Somali Pirate Kidnapping of Kindly Brits Sure to End Poorly
"You never believe it is going to be one of those things that happens to your family." I still kind of don't believe it is going to be one of those things that happens to my family.
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Edited by goetz at 10/27/09 10:12 AM goetz was starred goetz was unstarred

skippywasserman
10/27/09

@goetz: Yeah. But then cousin Jethro wins the lotto and decides to get into motor-yachting. He builds hisself a doublewide on pontoons with the engine from a Ford Diesel super-duty in back.

Then again, he's got guns, so yeah. Still don't see it. #somalipirates
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goetz
10/27/09

@skippywasserman: That's the most accurate family portrait I've ever read. See you at next year's reunion? #somalipirates
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Trai_Dep
10/08/09

In reply to Somali Pirates Need Mood Stabilizers
The nation of Somalia has got to provide better quality control. No more Jolly Rogers certificates unless applicants can prove they own at least one parrot.
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miss_msry
10/08/09

In reply to Somali Pirates Need Mood Stabilizers
Funny, they aren't dressed like pirates.
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Dickdogfood
10/08/09

In reply to Somali Pirates Need Mood Stabilizers
But I was adamant and wanted to get a story. Pausing and gauging my tone, I slowly whispered, "Do you have cohorts in Kenya?"

In a deep, husky voice, Guled answered, "Yes we do."

I think you can tell where this is going to lead.
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contains_hot_liquid
10/08/09

@Dickdogfood: He fixes the cable?
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son of spam
06/12/09

In reply to Will Not End Well
The MV Charelle was attacked 60 nautical miles south of Sur on the Omani coast, NATO Lieutenant Commander Alexandre Fernandes said aboard NATO's Portuguese warship Corte-Real, which is on anti-piracy patrol off Somalia.

Hard to believe the Somalians could have pulled this off when we have the Portuguese Navy hard at work protecting us.
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depardoo
06/12/09

@son of spam:

Lieutenant Commander Fernandes was said to have the smell of port about him.
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lobstr
06/01/09

In reply to The Case of the Missing Booty
I thought there were three pirates that the snipers obliterated when they poked their idiot heads out of the lifeboat...
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CaptainFantastic
06/01/09

In reply to The Case of the Missing Booty
Sully was secretly on board and escaped with the cash in a tiny submarine that launches through the bottom of the ship. The SEALs didn't detect it because it silently runs on sea monkey power.
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tigolbitties
06/01/09

In reply to The Case of the Missing Booty
phew, for a second i thought this post was about me!
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BadUncle
06/01/09

@tigolbitties: Your booty is missing? did you just wake up one day and discover this?
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BookishLookish
06/01/09

@tigolbitties: Tig, it doesn't say "Case of the Missing Foin-Ass Booty," so relax.
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LatestBy
05/20/09

In reply to Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
I pi-rate this 5 out of 5 stars.
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malo-ji
05/20/09

In reply to Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
"Buc Naked!" - In this EXCLUSIVE smuggled-out cellfone foto from Rikers Island The Post shows alleged pirate being processed ...

"Buc Rogered!" - Page Six reports alleged pirate sexually assaulted ...

"Buc Raker!" - The Post has fotos of alleged pirate gardening ...
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FormerEnglishMajor
05/20/09

@malo-ji: You missed the headline once he's convicted:

"The Buc Stops Here"
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lobstr
05/20/09

In reply to Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
how'd he score Ben Affleck as his personal escort?
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Mount_Prion
05/20/09

In reply to Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
Well done, Hamilton. It took me two tries to say that title out loud.
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americanaquariumdrinker
05/20/09

In reply to Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
is it me or is he about to say "I'm RICH BITCH!"
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FormerEnglishMajor
05/20/09

@americanaquariumdrinker: Damn, I wish Dave Chappelle were still doing his show - he would have had a field day with this. Remember him in his pirate outfit for Samuel Jackson beer?
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CaptainFantastic
05/20/09

@americanaquariumdrinker: @FormerEnglishMajor: That was my first thought.
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raincoaster
04/28/09

In reply to Pirates: Not So Tough After All
HOW could you do this post without the following link to Fabio's softcore pirate movie????

Which, of course, I have excerpted on my blog.

[raincoaster.com]
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