Sorority rush is currently in full swing at many of our nation's top institutions of higher learning, and that means that a lot of young ladies' mothers and fathers have, perhaps unwittingly, paid for the production of extravagant videos to make their daughter's sorority look the best. Lucky for us, they're all on…

Hi, whores. If it is or about to be rush week at your school, you've no doubt received upwards of 9,000 freaking annoying emails from your sorority's recruitment chair lately, some of which are rude, like this one extolling the virtues of Spanx posted to Jezebel this morning. We would like to read them.

Here's a lovely photograph of a sorority girl from the University of Maryland celebrating her 21st birthday in the traditional way—with a fun, alcohol-themed cake that's piled with mini-bottles, Blue Moon, and shitty wine and adorned with the inscription "suck a nigga dick." Wait, what was that last thing again?

Minnesota State University Moorhead administrators are investigating a pageant queen's claims that her sorority sisters "bullied" her out of her sorority, Gamma Phi Beta. Miss Montana 2013 Sheridan Tihista says the harassment came "out of the blue." Her sisters say she called them "dishwashers."

Sorority rush is one of the only forms of torture the U.S. still condones. It makes sense, then, that sisters would want to cut loose after completing the arduous process. University of Florida's AOPi seniors did so by taking pictures of their boobs.

If there's anything to be learned from last year's "most deranged sorority girl email ever," it's that the internal communications of sororities are endlessly charming, fascinating, and full of the word "cunt." The Louisiana State University chapter of Tri Delta has proven that once again this week with a leaked…

It's sorority rush week at the University of Alabama, and over 2,250 girls—the most to ever rush at Alabama or any school in the country—are currently marching from house to house, grit-smiling their way through small talk and idiotic skits in the hopes of becoming Chi Os or KDs. This is just one year after the…

They're staffers for influential congressmen and PACs. They work at top international banks and consulting firms. Also, they claim to hit women, lie to cops, chase ass, trade pills and hard drugs, and pour "so much champagne on bitches titties." These are the email confessions of a banned fraternity.

Last summer, the University of Alabama campus was rocked by allegations that the fabled Greek scene was racist. Well, not allegations: The school's all-white sororities rejected two women because they weren't white. The school's student Senate had a chance to fix things. But last week, they said "fuck it."

A secret society called the Machine was apparently behind the spate of free-drink-toting, limo-riding University of Alabama sorority girls who showed up to vote in the Tuscaloosa City Board of Education race last month.

Young people are bad at voting, but very good at boozing. So what's one reliable way to get them to the polls? The promise of a free drink.

The "cunt punt" was still fresh on Michael Shannon's lips when the inevitable demand was first issued: Do Morgan Freeman next.

Delta Gamma is once again a safe space for boners. One week after a foul-mouthed crash course in social etiquette put the sorority on the GODDAMN FUCKING map, Delta Gamma brass have decided that the now infamous University of Maryland email was HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THAT CHAPTER. They've just accepted…

Our first choice of actor to stage a dramatic reading of "The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read" was, of course, Richard Dreyfuss.