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South Park: The Day The Internet Stood Still
On last night's South Park, disaster struck. The internet disappeared. Stan's father couldn't look at porn! His mom couldn't check her boring old email! And, most ominously and amusingly, television news was unable to find any information to report on. It was a pretty funny horror movie panic homage, even if it felt a tad dated. Click through for the clip.
clips
All of Your Favorite YouTubers Are Dead
Your dreams finally came true. In TV form, at least. In a love letter to the same internet that often parodies/steals from them, last night's South Park depicted many of those viral YouTube sensations that you so love, from dramatic look gopher to Tay Zonday to that Numa Numa kid (the soundtrack to my senior year of college, sadly), all meeting grim ends in a web celebrity on web celebrity melee. In the episode, the South Park boys try to collect on their "YouToob" fame (they made a video with Butters called "What What In The Butt") by going to a DMV-esque bureaucratic office and waiting for cash. All of the other internet fameballs are there, hoping to finally receive some of their theoretical riches. A fight breaks out over, what else, how many views everyone has and then Tay Zonday pulls out a gun and everyone dies. It's wonderful! [Complex] Episode clip after the jump, plus Butters' lovely ditty. More »
things we actually like
South Park: Smaller, Shorter, Completely Free
Timmeh! SouthParkStudios.com (beta) is finally live. The maybe a little bit groundbreaking ad-based site allows users to stream every single episode from every single season of the maybe a little bit groundbreaking animated series (like this recent brilliant, sad Britney Spears installment) for free. This development, coupled with the debut of Hulu, bodes well for television obsessed people who don't want to spend money on iTunes. Hopefully a SwansCrossingStudios.com isn't far behind. Oh! And! There are tons and tons of clips that you can embed on your blog website! Just like the wonderful Scientology clip that lies after the jump. More »
celebrities
Britney Spears Finally Killed In Cartoon Form
Cartoon death trailblazer South Park last night finally ran a Britney Spears episode, featuring her gruesome demise. Not to give it away, but it's not just the shotgun that does it! Oh South Park, you are truly the world leader in animated superstar celebrity tasteless murder techniques. Below, a clip [P6] of headless Britney on the show. More »
tom cruise
Isaac Hayes' Scientology Serenade
Scientologist Isaac Hayes, formerly Chef on the TV series "South Park," has a new gig singing custom Valentine's Day serenades for Sprint cell phone customers, via computer magic. There could hardly be a better way to tell your loved one you will be with her from stalled to a clear to OT, washing off her Thetans every step of the way. Sure, it would be nice if Sprint's computer Isaac Hayes could sing classic Tom Cruise lines like "I've canceled that in my area" or "when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else," but it's still possible to coax a pro-Scientology gem out of him, as shown after the jump. More »
backgrounder
Abbreviated Scientology
Andrew Morton, best-selling biographer of Tom Cruise, says some Scientologists believe the actor's daughter with Katie Holmes carries the spirit and maybe even the DNA of the sect's founder, L. Ron Hubbard. What else do adherents believe? Despite the fuss around Tom Cruise's manic Scientology video, published here, I didn't have the patience to go through all the background material. (Some of Scientology's critics are even more rabid, and paranoid, than the sect's zealots.) But there's a solution: the South Park's episode, in which one character is briefly lured into the cult, is still up on the web, although Tom Cruise forced the cartoon show's owner Viacom to stop airing the episode on television. In this excerpt, Stan learns Scientology's extraordinary doctrine: that human beings are haunted by the souls of frozen aliens, captured and brainwashed by the evil galactic overlord, Xenu. Bonus fact: Mark Ebner, the Hollywood investigative reporter who first leaked the Tom Cruise video, consulted on this South Park episode. Though it's a cartoon, and mocking in tone, this is a pretty accurate summary of Scientology's far-fetched central narrative. And, blessedly, it's short. More »
gonna have myself a times
'Times' Ed Board Totally Aware Of 12-Year-Old Cartoon
"South Park," which begins its 12th season in October and has been extended to 15 seasons, is no longer merely the crudely animated, rudely scripted tales of Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. It is now a studio, a digital hub, a creative powerhouse in its infancy — but with the potential to become the kind of marketing monster that the boys might well find themselves fleeing from, a monster like, say, Mecha-Streisand.That's from today's New York Times editorial about the recent online revenue-sharing deal between the show's creators and Viacom. Talk about hip, young, and cutting edge! These guys are not afraid to sound like "South Park" nerds; they are down with it. Stay tuned for that "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" editorial in about seven years.
tribune
Tribune Company A Bunch Of Drama Queens
For months now, the Tribune Company, owners of what's left of Newsday, as well as the LA Times, Baltimore Sun, AM New York and ten other papers—as well as South Park and the Chicago Cubs—have been begging for bids for all or part of the company. They've enticed the likes of David Geffen and Ron Burkle into putting together bid packages, even making potential bidders fly to Chicago. (Eww!) More »
south park
'South Park' Wins Peabody, Tom Cruise Foiled Again
After some ten years of inane genius, South Park's "distinguished acheivement and meritious service" was recognized last night with a Peabody. Other honorees included House, Boston Legal and Battlestar Galactica, but there's nothing quite so compelling as watching Comedy Central continue its goofy march towards legitimacy. More »
south park
Fake Writer Day Comes to 'South Park'
According to South Park's website, the new episode for Wednesday will tackle Fake Writer James Frey's historic appearance on Oprah: More »
ron perelman
Gossip Roundup: Vin Diesel's Totally Gay, Three-Part Punic Adventure
• Following in Mel Gibson's footsteps, Vin Diesel says he'd really, really love to do a three-part epic based on the life of Hannibal. Featuring men in togas and sandals. In the ancient language of Punic. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing to have ever come out of Vin's mouth — aside from the time he went on TV to say he was straight, that is. [The Scoop]• Turns out it was Tom Cruise who forced Comedy Central to cancel plans to re-air the South Park episode that takes shots at Scientology. America's most favorite OT-VII threatened to skip the publicity circuit for MI:3 if the network went ahead with the broadcast. We should be so lucky. [Page Six]
• Just how generous is Kevin Federine? He chopped off 10 inches of his precious hair to send to Locks of Love! Now do you see what Britney sees? [Lowdown]
• Paris has been dating Stavros Niarchos for, like, three decades — well, in Paris years anyway. Which means it might just be time for some fresh meat. Rich sports stars and Eurotrash: Watch your backs. [Page Six]
• Ron Perelman has selected an appropriate Ellen Barkin replacement: editor Kelly Killoren Bensimon. If history is any judge, she'll get royally screwed over sometime in early 2010 but at least she'll get lots of free shit from Revlon until then. [Page Six]
