Science Watch: Our Man In Space
Animal legs! Weather extremes! Planet surfaces! Astronaut man! Dark things! Bee teams! Bio touch! And liquids that may or may not be of benefit to one and all! It’s your periodic Science Watch, where we watch science—without ever touching the ground!
A Case Study in Failed Reporting: This Alternate Universe Story
A new study from astrophysicist Ranga-Ram Chary has found mysterious “bright spots” in cosmic background radiation that could be caused by alternate universes. So far, so good. Only the clowns in “journalism” could screw this one up.
An Unexplained Pyramid--In Space. What Is It? Nobody Knows. Bananas.

Whilst lesser news sites of the world are nattering on about the “World’s Ugliest Dog,” here is the real news: NASA has literally (Literally? Literally.) discovered a Mysterious Alien Pyramid in Space. If you don’t think that’s big news, fuck off.
When We All Relocate to Space, At Least We'll Have Espresso
At parties—which I go to a lot—the question is often raised: if you were to travel to space, what would be the one earthly thing you’d have trouble giving up? FRESH COFFEE, we all yell. Samantha Cristoforetti, an Italian astronaut at the International Space Station, has proven that we will never have to go without…
Science Watch: Sardine Heaven
Moon formation! Alien life! Fish death! Muscle appreciation! Dark studies! Robo-gloves! Arctic tundra! And the downfall of Western civilization! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—like a toad watch a bug.
Is the Moon Real?
It's common knowledge that earth's only friend, the moon, is real. There it is, big and bright, careening across the sky in a dark orbit thousands of miles away. Wow, it's big! Big and real. We know the moon is real because we can see it up there, existing. It's very, very real. But have you ever stopped yourself to…
Mars Mission Chooses 100 People Best Suited to Dying on Another Planet
Sure, the planned civilian mission to Mars is wildly unrealistic, and if it even if we got there everyone would probably starve, but it's still fun to think about. That's especially true when it comes to deciding what 100 people should be banished to space, never to return, as Mars One did today.
Solemn Film Asks Gravest Mars-Mission Question: What About Fucking?
The civilian mission to Mars, which will likely never happen in a million bajillion years, has received its fair share of mixed press. Most recently, The Guardian interviewed three potential candidates for the mission in a self-serious documentary gut-wrenchingly titled "If I die on Mars," in which an unnamed…
Watch NASA's Orion Shoot Through Space on Successful Test Flight
This morning, after a few hiccups yesterday, NASA sent its Orion spacecraft into orbit from the Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida. The test flight will see Orion orbiting Earth twice and landing off the coast of Baja, California four hours after taking off.
Just as Japan launches a space probe that will rendezvous with an asteroid, a global group of scientists warns that unless we do a better job of tracking asteroids, the entire human race could well be wiped out. Should you be worried? Yes. Death is certain.
Holy Shit We Landed on a Fucking Comet Jesus Christ
A spacecraft landed on the surface of a comet for the first time ever today, the European Space Agency confirms. The 220-pound Philae lander successfully made its way to the surface of 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, as part of the agency's 10 years in the making Rosetta mission.
How Do You Survive a Disintegrating Rocket Plane at 50,000 Feet?
Last week, the Virgin Galactic rocket plane SpaceShipTwo broke apart at more than 50,000 feet and crashed in the Mojave desert. One pilot died. But the other pilot lived. Now the question is: how the fuck did he do that?
International Space Station Astronauts to Get Fancy New Workout Clothes
How's your workout looking? Think you could still do it in space? A team of astronauts at the International Space Station will now be owners of the newest development in scientific workout gear in a new shipment from a Orbital Sciences Corp. commercial cargo ship.
Astronomers in Ukraine Named a Star "Putin is a Dickhead"
As tensions rise in Ukraine in their battle against pro-Russian separatists, a group of Ukrainian astronomers have come up with a way to deliver a cosmic burn: by naming a star "Putin-Huilo!" after Russian President Vladimir Putin. "Huilo" (or as it is sometime seen, "khuilo") is a useful Ukrainian word that roughly…
Here's the First Vine from Space
First, Vine showed us illicit acts with a Hot Pocket, and now, Vine shows us space. NASA astronaut Reid Wiseman posted the first Vine from the International Space Station over the weekend, which shows one 92-minute Earth orbit compressed into 6 seconds.

