As we noted earlier, it really does seem that we're settling into an annual political routine here where Congress goes into its August recess and everyone starts freaking out about Muslims.
The dingbats at Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox and Friends, finally got around to "covering" the News Corp. hacking scandal that's giving their parent company overlord, Rupert Murdoch, so many problems these days. It is one of the sadder bits of television you'll ever see, right up there with...…
This morning on Fox News' doomsday cult chat show Fox & Friends, the pile of leaves and twigs stuffed inside a man's suit known as Steve Doocy spoke to a mother and son about a crazy deer that got loose in their church. Easy story, right? Wrong!
This morning on Fox News's idiot conspiracy bunker variety hour, the pulsating nerve sacks were talking with veteran soap opera actress Susan Lucci. What were they most curious about? All those soap opera kisses of course! So they asked Susan for a tutorial.
Oh Fox & Friends, you never fail us. Recently, lemon-scented floor mop Gretchen Carlson invited a little boy and his father on to discuss the child's near-death experience and how, the kid claims, he went to heaven and saw God.
Rep. Sue Myrick's niche is to constantly worry about Muslims infiltrating and conquering America. In this clip, she outlines a compelling new argument for Total Border Security: a couple of Hezbollah members have crossed the border over the past decade!
America's greatest journalism show Fox & Friends had Newt Gingrich on this morning to discuss, among other things, Obama's call for "prayer" in last night's speech. Wasn't it offensive for this notorious God-hating monster to suddenly ask for His help?
Oh, Fox & Friends. Land of geniuses. The regular crew were all off on their oil prospecting vacations today, so we were stuck with the brilliant fill-ins. Watch as one of them, Clayton Morris, gets his own name wrong. Twice!
Oh Fox & Friends, how I've missed you. Today our beloved murmuring crayfish were discussing Sarah Palin's big Fox News debut and Gretchen, whoo-boy-howdy!, sure was impressed with her. She got such tough questions! Like: "Is Nancy Pelosi a kook?"
Oh, Glenn Beck. Why are you not content to be just a run of the mill asshole? Why must you bring celebrity interpretations into the mix, as you did this evening with a Kermit the Frog impression? It's sad.
On Fox & Friends this morning, Glenn Beck explained how Barack Obama must be stopped from using the PATRIOT Act—seriously!—to spy on whites by adding an aging British homosexual playing a wizard to his entertaining repertoire of impressions.
The nice white people at Fox & Friends just hate "potty mouth politics," so they asked Michelle Malkin to come on and talk about how we should all just disagree with dignity and civility.
Fox News' Alisyn Camerota screwed up a throw on Fox & Friends this morning, causing Steve Doocy and Brien Kilmeade to cross swords when Doocy read Kilmeade's copy. So Kilmeade asked, "Why do we have women on the show?"
Gretchen Carlson knows that not agreeing with "facts" is an American Right. Nancy Pelosi wants to destroy that right, by calling for reasoned, informed debate instead of red-faced shouting. What would Paul Giamatti do?
Oh goodness. I'd hoped for a good clip to end my Fox & Friends "coverage", and the video team has delivered. Today the pompadoured earwigs were discussing America-hating Bill Maher. Why doesn't he leave and go to France?
Oh happy day! The whole Fox & Friends gang was back together again this morning. The wind-blown pumpkin patch was discussing the Gates/Race Police White House beer sit-down, and Brian Kilmeade said more weird isolationist stuff.
Beautiful Snork-female Gretchen Carlson is still on vacation, so Replacement Lady is filling in. Badly. While talking about a Bernie Madoff story she managed to reveal that she's just functionally-not-capably reading the TelePrompTer, without comprehending any of it.
Oooo, Fox & Friends has a lil' crush! On Lt./Capt. Mitch Buchannon himself, David Hasselhoff. See the Hoff was on The View recently and said Barack Obama was boring! A doozy! Now Doocy, Bri-Bri, and Random Girl just love him.
Fox & Friends! Hunh. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. But still we press on with the deconstructing of it! Today: Brian Kilmeade, a cake left out in the rain, talks about his totes hetero crush on Bono.
A couple weeks ago, Fox & Friends' disgruntled hedgehog Brian Kilmeade dumbly implied that inter-culture marriages aren't pure. And a lot of people got mad! So this morning, back from a relaxing vacay in Bermuda or something, he apologized.
