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Media Crack
Where Were You When Vibe Died?
In your emboldened Wednesday media column: More on the Spin layoffs, "Where were you when Vibe died?" stories begin, Froomkin's proud, Michael Wolff's unnecessarily loud, and newspapers are how(itzer)ed. More » -
layoffs
Daily Intel hears there were layoffs today at Spin. Know details? Email us.
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public relations
Failed Political Flacks Jockey For Crown of Evil
Yesterday we asserted that former Bush roboflackMale Ari Fleischer was America's most irrelevant talking head. Today, however, we learned that former Bush roboflackFemale Dana Perino is joining forces with Microtrend maker-upper Mark Penn. Revision: More » -
5wpr
Any Client Is a Good Client
Hello, what is Ronn [sic] Torossian's wacky PR firm, 5WPR, doing now? They're flacking for a pyramid scheme, reportedly! That's just nice. As Ronn says, "Times such as these are no time for ego." More » -
how-to
The Art of the Non-Apology
The New York Post issued an angry non-apology for Sean Delonas' monkey cartoon. The New York Times issued a mealy-mouthed non-apology for its winking John McCain(*cough*SEX*cough*)-lobbyist story. Please; it's very important to non-apologize correctly: More » -
spin
Matthew Freud's NY Office
Matthew Freud—Sigmund's great grandson—is a London PR big shot who married Elisabeth Murdoch, Rupert's daughter. A memo floating around today about his New York office has people asking: What does it mean? More »ClosingPartnering! -
caroline kennedy
Even the Smear Campaign Was Incompetent
New York Governor David Paterson's attack flack oversaw a stealth media campaign to smear Caroline Kennedy after she withdrew from the Senate race—which succeeded in making Kennedy and the Governor look terrible. Good work! More » -
flackery
The Perfect Media Timing of Israel's War
Is it smart for Israel to blow the hell out of Palestinian civilians past all boundaries of good sense? No. But has Israel timed this war brilliantly, from a PR perspective? No doubt. More » -
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ronn torossian
Douchebag Flack Files $20 Mil Douche Suit!
Hahaha: Incompetent, litigious superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is suing a rival for $20 million for calling him a douchebag, on the internet! Hahahaha! This is my favorite story of the holiday season: More » -
tribune
Tribune To Everyone: Pay No Attention To This Minor Disturbance
Dear readers: you may have heard that Sam Zell's Tribune Company recently filed for bankruptcy. Do not be alarmed! Just because the company is drowning in $12 billion in debt with few prospects for a revival of its fortunes is no reason to believe that it's anything but "business as usual" at the trusty Tribune. When Zell bought the company last year, employees were assured, "Going forward, employees participating in the [Employee Stock Ownership Plan] will be invested alongside Sam Zell, one of today’s most successful investors." Awesome! And the company has already assured everyone that there's no need to get upset by today's unfortunate, catastrophic turn of events: More » -
alan mulally
Ford CEO Forced To Learn How To Drive
Ford Motor Co. CEO Alan Mulally is a Ford-drivin' man. The humble CEO, who is forced to feed his family on a mere $1/ year salary, announced that rather than taking a private jet like last time, he's going to catch the carpool fever and drive on down to Washington, DC to beg the government for bailout money. Driving himself, in a Ford hybrid car! Has someone been taking our PR advice? We'll say yes! Reportedly, "The Ford road trip would cost about $29, excluding snacks." Cost of snacks: $25 billion. [NYP] -
barack obama
Calling Bullshit On The Obama Ring Story
President-elect Obama—allegedly a 'man of the people'—is allegedly buying a fancy $30,000 ring for his fancy wife, allegedly! It was in the trusty Daily Mail, and now it's the top story on Drudge, meaning it is the single most important news story in all the world. Elitist Obama drops 30K on bling for his wife during a recession—and this bling will be made out of rhodium, the world's most expensive metal! This story is almost certainly bullshit, and we will tell you exactly why. [Updates below—we were right]:
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spin
AP Calls Bullshit on Spencer n' Heidi's 'Elopement'
Us Weekly ate up Hills "stars" Spencer and Heidi's story that they got married on the spur of the moment while on vacation in Mexico. A photographer just happened to be there to capture their beautiful declarations of love! Heidi just happened to have a white, full-length Balenciaga sundress lying around that doubled perfectly as a wedding gown! But the AP is asking if they're actually now husband and wife or if the whole thing was just another elaborate Speidi photo op. More » -
dan abrams
Dan Abrams Defends Straw Man Version Of His New PR Firm
Former MSNBC host Dan Abrams is a popular guy, because it's been rumored that he has jobs to give out. Abrams, you'll recall, is starting a ridiculous, conflict-of-interest-riddled PR firm that will distinguish itself by selling corporate clients (or just moguls) the advice of current journalists, bloggers, and other media types. The Observer spoke to Abrams, and he says he's gotten 650 applications already—"the bulk of whom are freelance journalists, people who are writing books and individuals who have recently been laid off or walked away from jobs in the media industry." Are we missing something here? More » -
gm
Populist GM Executives Will Muddle Through With Only Three Jets
General Motors caught a leeetle bit of flack this week for flying its executives to Washington on a private jet in order to beg for a taxpayer bailout. "Hey," said politicians, the media, and the general public, "you have less than zero money. Should you really have spent thousands on a private jet?" We would also add, "Shouldn't you have driven a car?" Later GM and its fellow broke automakers left Washington with no money, making this one of the colossal PR fuckups of 2008, and possibly of the preceding decade as well. But everything is different now, because GM is going to have somewhat fewer private jets. So please give them some multiple of billions of dollars okay? More » -
cocaine
Environmental Guilt To End Cocaine Use
Yuppie cokeheads, stop snorting massive rails for the sake of the endangered tree frogs! That's the new anti-drug message coming out of the UK. And it just might work! You might not stop for the sake of your money, your police record, or your septum, but would you give up blow if you knew that every eight ball cost ten square meters of precious rainforest habitat, you Whole Foods junkie? More » -
sarah palin
Sarah Palin On Charges She Is An Idiot: No Comment
The news media has tracked failed VP candidate Sarah Palin to the wilds of Alaska to get her reaction to the LOL-legation that she thought Africa was a country rather than a continent. Her forceful rebuke of the charge can be summed up as: It, uh, sounds like some bitters are saying I maybe, uh, didn't know the answer to a question so, uh, who was it that said that, anyhow? Click to watch the mush-mouthed meanderings of a geographically challenged woman. -
public relations
Jennifer Hudson's Family's Murder Is A Great Selling Point
Every time—every time—a horrible tragedy befalls a famous person, some of our nation's most clueless PR practitioners use it as a news peg for some unfortunate client. And of course that tradition continues with the news that singer and actress Jennifer Hudson's whole family was murdered! When hearing such horrible news, we're bound to ask ourselves: Is there any "invaluable device" that could have saved them from their violent end? Well!: More » -
liz rosenberg
Liz Rosenberg, Madonna's Lying Flack
So Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie are finally getting divorced. It's a very shocking thing, since earlier this summer, when reports of a pending divorce surfaced, Madonna's flack assured the world that the couple had "no divorce plans." Could it be that the flack, Liz Rosenberg—a charter member of our list of lying flacks—told something less than the full truth? After the jump, Liz's side of the story, and then the other, more accurate side:
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anne hathaway
Anne Hathaway Now Has An Answer For Questions About Her Ex-Boyfriend
Famous actresses should really write something into their contracts that says that in the case of their ex-boyfriend being arrested for international money-laundering and fraud, all mandatory TV interviews for a new movie can be postponed at least until his trial is over. Anne Hathaway already had to face David Letterman's questions about her ex, conman Raffaello Follieri, and today she had to go on Good Morning America to explain what she "learned" by dating an Italian hustler. Uh, not to do it? Click to watch her speak poignantly enough to live up to GMA's standards of public purging. [The saddest part of all is that the movie she's promoting, "Rachel Getting Married" is absolutely terrible. Epically grating. I even got free tickets, but Jesus. It's not worth the headache, Anne.] -
ben silverman
When Does "Fantastic job" Mean "You're getting canned"?
Lately the internet has been "abuzz" with rumors that NBC wants to dump its golden boy chief programmer Ben Silverman. So of course NBC itself has been equally "abuzz" assuring everyone that it wants no such thing! Are they telling the truth? Oh boy, it's time to do some serious parsing of corporate spin: More » -
bloomberg
Pregnant Women Increasingly Uppity At Bloomberg
Gadzooks: at Bloomberg LP, the financial news company owned by NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg, six dozen women—"about one in seven of the roughly 500 female employees who became pregnant in the last six years"—are now suing the company for being treated unfairly. That's up from an initial plaintiff count of three. It's almost as if there's some sort of unfolding pattern here: More » -
spin
Tracking the Edwards Lies
John Edwards is a lawyer, so he tends to be careful about, you know, "lies." Like Bill Clinton before him, he tries to make them technically true and hope no one notices the outs he leaves himself. Today, the Enquirer claims (reports?? who knows with them) that Edwards "restarted" his affair with Rielle Hunter after he says he confessed to his wife and ended it. Also he "was sexually involved with Rielle when she became pregnant." (Speaking of pregnant—click to see the totally helpful contextual ad that pops up when you hover over that word at the Enquirer's site.) Ha ha also: "Experts are now calling for a federal investigation into Edwards' use of campaign funds." Experts in what? So John's lying about everything, right? Kind of...
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rick ross
Department Of Corrections Appreciates Cocaine Rapper
When you're a big time Miami crime rapper who took your name from a legendary cocaine dealer, and somebody "accuses" you of once being a prison guard, why not just admit it? Then you could have a nice laugh about how far you've come. Instead, Rick Ross denied it, and got The Smoking Gun on his case, which just keeps on releasing more evidence of his C.O. career, and now people like us are providing links to his Certificate of Appreciation "in recognition of your service as a Perfect Attendance Employee assisting the Department of Corrections." Hustlin' baby. After the jump, the now-famous photo of the big coke don at his graduation ceremony as a corrections officer, which he tried to attribute to "online hackers" or something: More » -
china
Chinese Taught How To Speak To Foreigners, Wheelchair Athletes
We have Olympic fever! But not as much as Beijing-ians. The Chinese government is like an overanxious mama, worried her kid might start picking his nose on stage at his preschool graduation. So they're bombarding the wayward citizenry with propaganda posters directing them how to act when all the weird foreigners get to town. The oddest thing is that they go to great lengths to explain how to make pale Westerners feel at ease, when in fact much of the etiquette advice seems totally unrelated to American life. It's a culture clash that will make you chuckle! Below, actual instructions to the Chinese: Whatever you do, don't ask what someone does! More » -
Bottlemania
How Bottled Water Hypnotized Us All
Bottled water is a bit like smoking: deep down, we all knew there was something wrong with it from day one. Environmentalism has been a widespread subject in our public consciousness for more than 30 years now. Did anyone really believe that getting our water out of 16-ounce plastic bottles would be an efficient long-term solution for humanity? Despite that, the bottled water industry has done an admirable job using sly marketing magic to make us all feel like chemical-ridden cheapskates for drinking out of the tap. And a new book called Bottlemania breaks down the corporate spin techniques in a straightforward way that already has me drinking exclusively out of the toilet: More » -
irena briganti
The Case Against "Crazy Irena Briganti," From Those Who Know Her Best
"The Irena Briganti that I know is funny, hard-working and always willing to help out a colleague-no matter how busy she is," wrote Fox Television flack Erica Keane yesterday, in response to our "smear" of Briganti, Fox News boss Roger Ailes' PR attack-dog-in-chief. But Keane is in the minority in her assessment of Briganti's charm. Our post on her generated perhaps the biggest outpouring of responses we've had since Bloomberg staffers got the chance to vent about horrid boss Matthew Winkler. There was a wellspring of resentment against the Fox News flack just waiting to come out—and much of it came to us unsolicited. Everyone from journalists to Briganti's fellow News Corp. employees weighed in. "She-devil" is among the more middle-of-the-road descriptions. After the jump, all you'll need to know about Briganti's reputation—and her handful of obligatory defenders:
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roger ailes
Roger Ailes' History Of Media Manipulation
Fox bossman Roger Ailes is the best teacher any media attack flack could have. He's been screwing with the media for decades. Ailes is the man who perfected the art of hammering the media with charges of bias in order to deflect negative coverage from oneself. Kerwin Swint's new biography of him, Dark Genius, has plenty of examples from throughout his entire career. And you have to hand it to Ailes: his clients—all the way up to the President—got the best media haranguing tactics money can buy: More » -
defamer
Eddie Murphy Wants To Stop Playing Robots With Aliens Inside Of Them And Start Getting Real
Is it possible that one of Hollywood's biggest comedic stars — who has had handlers and publicists coddling him with tales of his own greatness for years — has actually developed some self-awareness? Shocking as it may seem, it sounds like that's what's going on with Eddie Murphy. For example, why is he making a fourth Beverly Hills Cop movie? Not because of something so crass as money, but because "the third Beverly Hills Cop was horrible! I didn't want to leave it like that. The first two were cool and the third one was shitty. [Let's] get the franchise fixed again, clean up this old mess and do a good movie." More » -
lying flacks
Madonna's Rep Added To Prestigious List Of Lying Flacks
All those rumors about Madonna and Guy Ritchie possibly getting a divorce? Not to worry: Madonna's flack, Liz Rosenberg, says publicly that "There are no divorce plans." But wait—is that the same Liz Rosenberg who assured everyone in 2006 that Madonna was not adopting a baby in Malawi? Yes it is! That would be a confirmed lie, meaning that Rosenberg gets added to our always-open list of lying flacks—we've handily numbered seven of them for you, after the jump: More » -
jc penney
Play The Teen Sex Ad Blame Game!
The fantastically transgressive teen sex ad yesterday from middlebrow retailer JC Penney turned out not to be sanctioned by the company, predictably. That was just too much to hope for. But the fun part now is watching the fallout—after all, can you fucking imagine how pissed the JC Penney people are right now? They are very pissed. They company sent us a statement disavowing the ad last night, and now the ad agency has just sent its own statement explaining how it had, uh, nothing to do with this salacious underage sex production. Now we're just waiting for the third party—who is likely getting screamed at very loudly right now—to take responsibility. Official statements from the two main players after the jump, and our prediction for the next one to come: More » -
Al-Hurra
Incompetent US Propaganda Network Surprisingly Unpopular Among Arabs
Four years ago, the US government had a bright idea: "Let's launch a propaganda-spouting TV news network in the Arab world," the government said. "We'll spend $350 million on it, but we'll staff it with incompetent people, ensure the programming is dull and clumsy, and hopefully create a counterproductive and ill-conceived boondoggle that will go down in history as one of the stupidest 'hearts and minds' campaigns of the new century!" And that's exactly what they did. Except it didn't turn out quite that well. More » -
tiger woods
Tiger Woods Injured, World Stops Caring About Golf; Advertisers 'Screwed'
Tiger Woods has announced that he tore his ACL and will miss the rest of the golf season, so it's time to despair, toss your golf clubs in the water, and sell any investments you have in any company remotely connected with golf as fast as possible. TV networks that show golf tournaments and the companies that advertise on those broadcasts are doing exactly that right now, although with slow, undetectable movements, and with a broad smile on their face for the press. "Golf will be fine!" they'll say, with their stomachs sinking as they look at the numerical proof of the "Tiger Effect": More » -
flackery
Mike Sitrick, Ninja Master Of The Dark Art Of Spin
A lawyer named Jeremy Pitcock got fired last year, and his firm put a fine point on his dismissal: they issued a press release attributing his firing to "extremely inappropriate personal conduct." That's, uh, not considered a good thing to have on your resume in the legal world. Turns out that the law firm crafted the release with the help of Sitrick & Co., the super high-powered PR firm run by shadowy, high-priced crisis guru Mike Sitrick. Now Pitcock is suing Sitrick and his old firm for $90 million, charging them with ruining his reputation over what he says was simply a misguided and consensual kiss after a drunken night at a bar. The bigger question is, doesn't Sitrick have more important things to do than get embroiled in a petty sexual harassment dismissal? Answer: not really! More » -
public relations
The Wal-Mart PR Machine Plays Well With Others
Back in 2005, two activist groups—Wake Up Wal-Mart and Wal-Mart Watch—launched campaigns to kick Wal-Mart's ass in the media. Which they did quite successfully for a while. The soulless retailer spent untold millions on a huge, political-style PR campaign from our friends at Edelman to fight back against the criticisms of them for everything from poor health care to union busting. But the Times reports today that Edelman's Wal-Mart war room shut down months ago, and the torrent of news stories about the company's flaws has died down. Why? Because Wal-Mart has adopted a philosophy of working with critics, and made their enemies their friends. This is either evidence of progress, or cause for despair. Since the company is still a horrible union buster, we'll go with "despair." More » -
mysteries
Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature
Aha—Facebook has issued a statement on the mysterious stalker feature that we spent all day covering: "Facebook tries to surface the people we think are most important to users to make it easier and faster for them to navigate the site and find what they are looking for...The search drop down is not a list of those that have searched for the user. It is also not a list of people whose profile the user has viewed the most or who have viewed the user's profile the most. To avoid any confusion, this will no longer appear." See, you were too stupid to handle it! But wait: as our commenters figured out in about one minute flat, typing a period (".") in the search box brings up the same five-person list. And are they really your "most important users?" Random. We urge continued experimentation. -
flackery
Jim Strzalkowski Simply Must Tell You The Irrelevant News!!
What's the word on the street these days? "Word on the street is that Brian Anthony is also fighting hard to open for Madonna on her upcoming "Hard Candy" tour." This Brian Anthony, who is some type of music maker, did a mashup of his music with Madonna's and put it on his Myspace page. Now, "The 'Worked Up!' mash-up is being passed around the Madonna camp and the buzz is BIG on it." How can we be so sure? Because we got the information firsthand, in a hilariously inept press release from Jim Strzalkowski, fantabulous PR man—and fan—to the D-list stars! More » -
blog wars
WSJ Does Good Imitation Of Portfolio Blogger
"Jack Flack" at Portfolio.com is one of a small handful of bloggers who writes things that are interesting and intelligent about corporate PR. One of his trademark constructions is "Parsing XYZ," where he takes some statement or speech or press release full of corporate doublespeak and decodes it. I identify him so closely with that stuff that I even gave him credit the last time I used the word "Parsing!" But not so for the Wall Street Journal, which ran a column last weekend with a premise virtually identical [see update also, below] to an earlier Jack Flack column: More » -
spin
The Pentagon Has Ronn [sic] Torossian's Support
The New York Times' big front page investigative story on Sunday about the tight connections between ex-military "analysts" on news programs and the Pentagon's PR machine was a solid re-affirmation of most people's suspicions that they, along with much of the media at large, were all play-acting in the inevitable march to war. The piece was hugely comprehensive, but it did lack the input of one man: incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian, head of the press-friendly agency 5WPR! Luckily, Ronn has chimed in with his advice to all of you who may have been upset by the story of undercover warmongering propaganda: chill. It's all just PR 101. More » -
what the hell happened
A Brief History of the Longest Primaries Ever
So! Tonight! Pennsylvania's Primary! The current CW sez Clinton will win—her internal numbers have her 11 points ahead, public polling has a slightly narrower margin. But she needs a HUGE win to, uh, overtake Obama in the popular vote. The delegate thing? Well, that's a much harder gap to close. Hey, remember how Hil was inevitable? Anyone? It was less than a year ago that she was the unstoppable presumptive nominee. What happened? We went back in time, with our magic Googling time machine, to dissect 18 months of campaign spin, media narratives, and pundit bullshit to figure out how Senator Hillary Clinton went from our next President to this increasingly desperate-looking figure.
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