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New York, 9:42 PM
Mon Nov 30
60 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #spinning more →

    'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout

    Spin Class Berserker Cleared In Court

    Inside The Mind Of A Spinning Class Dude

    Why Is Crunch Gym Forcing Spiderman 3 "Marketing Experiences" On Their Spinning Classes?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    12/09/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    (JACK spies LIZ on the treadmill. She is out of breath.)


    JACK: Lemon.

    LIZ (catching her breath): Oh... hello... Jack.

    JACK: You seem winded, Lemon..

    LIZ (gasping): Winded? Me? Naw, this is child's play.

    JACK: So is Stratego to a Candy Land player, Lemon.

    LIZ: What? I don't get that.

    JACK: Mmm hmmm.

    LIZ: Now, get outta here. (Starts the treadmill up again.) I've gotta work... on my... four-minute mile.

    JACK (turning around, smacks own ass): Hear that, Lemon? Buns. Of steel.

    (LIZ gasps, begins to trip awkwardly on the treadmill, then finally falls.)

    JACK (to older lady): I still got it?

    (Lady nods.)

    JACK (pleased with self): Damned skippy.

     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of gladys_kravitz gladys_kravitz
    12/09/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    Alec on a spin bike would make for some schweaty balls.
     Reply
    gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred
    Image of JinxyMcDeath JinxyMcDeath
    12/09/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    I'm just glad he's working out - he's getting too overweight. I have no problem with a man with some pudge, but good grief, his pants fit him all weird now because he's got this ridiculous belly.


    I'd still fuck him though...

     Reply
    JinxyMcDeath was starred JinxyMcDeath was unstarred
    Image of Understater Understater
    12/08/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    Prelude to a Fit


    Ok, that was lame-o.

     Reply
    Understater was starred Understater was unstarred
    Image of Ryan Tate Ryan Tate
    12/09/08

    @Understater: Ha!
     Reply
    Ryan Tate was starred Ryan Tate was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    12/08/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    This is like the time Orson Welles tried to Jazzercise but was delayed by bacon.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    12/08/08

    @Private Hangnail: Or not. Your past few comments have been both odd and banal, even for you. And now you're talking to yourself. Maybe it's time to turn in. It's been a long day.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    12/08/08

    @Private Hangnail: are you trying to start another foxymoron post beckoning to the golden era of gawker?
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/08/08

    @bess marvin, girl detective: It's more like the time Mama Cass missed yogalates because of a ham sandwhich.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    12/08/08

    @bess marvin, girl detective: @contradicto: Or like the time Dom DeLuise tried Urban Hip Hop and coughed an entire prawn onto the instructor.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of They Shoot Journalists, Don't They? They Shoot Journalists, Don't They?
    12/08/08

    @Private Hangnail: Or like the time that Jesus tried to go to pilates but ended up with this Pilate dude instead. It was just a silly mixup, but man did they crucify him!
     Reply
    They Shoot Journalists, Don't They? was starred They Shoot Journalists, Don't They? was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/08/08

    @Private Hangnail: Or like the time John Candy ate all the Crisco that he was going to use to lube to pole for strip aerobics class.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Hockeymom Hockeymom
    12/08/08

    @They Shoot Journalists, Don't They?: Very funny. But you will still be going straight to hell, young man (or woman).
     Reply
    Hockeymom was starred Hockeymom was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    12/08/08

    @Private Hangnail: Or when Rerun really hit his stride at Step Aerobics and one of his suspenders snapped, taking out a whole row.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    12/08/08

    @They Shoot Journalists, Don't They?: Ooh - a heretic. I like that.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    12/08/08

    @Private Hangnail: nonsense. this is EXACTLY like the time mindy cohn dragged me to merengue in hopes that there would be pie. needless to say, juan, the instructor, had no idea what she was talking about.
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/08/08

    @bess marvin, girl detective: Whatevs, this is more like the time Kirstie Alley ate her instructor at Curves for the protein.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    12/08/08

    @bess marvin, girl detective: No, it's more tinged with the memory of Philip Seymour Hoffman doing step aerobics while eating a large boiled ham.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    12/08/08

    @contradicto: guess who set the instructor up? that bitch john goodman. when confronted, he said "this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass"
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/08/08

    @bess marvin, girl detective: I'm more scared of Ricki Lake, who goes through her entire cardio kickboxing class with a rack of ribs in her mouth.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: Meanwhile, Mo'nique was supposed to meet me for our circuit training session, but a vat of butterscotch frosting told her otherwise.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: I'm reminded of the time Marlon Brando used a Thigh Master as a crab fork.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @Private Hangnail: Or the time Rosanne Barr used a barbell for her beef and lamb kababs.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: I'll never forget Anna Nicole Smith as she made giblet gravy on the elliptical machine. It was glorious.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of T.S._delegate T.S._delegate
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: Or the time Schwarzenegger used the treadmill to pound out his schnitzel.
     Reply
    T.S._delegate was starred T.S._delegate was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @Private Hangnail: Lest we forget the time Sally Struthers used a ben wa ball to flatten her cookie dough.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: Or the time Shelley Winters hogged the sauna to cook mutton.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Minsley Tortimer Minsley Tortimer
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: if mama cass and karen carpenter had just shared that sandwich, they'd both be with us today
     Reply
    Minsley Tortimer was starred Minsley Tortimer was unstarred
    Image of Minsley Tortimer Minsley Tortimer
    12/09/08

    @Private Hangnail: did someone say 'thigh master?


    "I am now hermetically sealed to the bike"

     Reply
    Minsley Tortimer was starred Minsley Tortimer was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    12/09/08

    @Minsley Tortimer: HA! YOU WIN
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @Minsley Tortimer: What the hell was that?
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Minsley Tortimer Minsley Tortimer
    12/09/08

    @contradicto: remember: when you eat, you're just a vacuum with nipples.
     Reply
    Minsley Tortimer was starred Minsley Tortimer was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @Minsley Tortimer: God I can use some trouser gravy, right now.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/09/08

    @Minsley Tortimer: Well look at how big my vagine looks. It's a huge vagine. I've even had to underline it.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Iceland Spar Iceland Spar
    12/09/08

    @Minsley Tortimer: Never met a carrot I didn't like...EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE!
     Reply
    Iceland Spar was starred Iceland Spar was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    12/09/08

    @Private Hangnail: I heart your oddness.
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of Perhaps Not Perhaps Not
    12/09/08

    @Private Hangnail: I believe we've just written the entire 2009 season of Family Guy.


    But really, it was like the time that Charlie Kaufman was kicked off the rowing machine after over an hour and cleverly devoured himself in protest. It was interesting, but somehow, I found it less fulfilling then the rest of the gym seemed to, or maybe just some of them. The girl on the Swiss ball burst into tears and had to be led down to the smoothie shop, but the really fat dude on the treadmill just rolled his eyes and muttered something about Pirandello having done the same thing at Gold's years ago, in less time and with more humorous chewing noises.

     Reply
    Perhaps Not was starred Perhaps Not was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    12/08/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    Love these bumpintooze. We were at a sushi place, waiting for a table and saw his ex-wife at the bar. She just gawked and gawked at our girls. She's a gawker.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    12/08/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    Alec Baldwin will have to pry my spin bike handlebars from my cold, dead hands.


    Kind of cool that he works out in my neighborhood though, even though I'm not fancy enough to go to Equinox.

     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    12/09/08

    @VoxPopuli: I noes! The nabe is lousy with celebs (and filmings of Lawn Order).


    At one time no one would venture above 86th street. Now it's crawling with famous people. Sometimes its disturbing but I'd love to see Alec. I once auditioned Equinox to be my gym but they tend to be snooty for no reason whatsoever. Fail.

     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of Mike_Jahn Mike_Jahn
    12/08/08

    In reply to 'Hefty' Alec Baldwin Denied Spin Workout
    Brian Wilson! Dayum. Back in teh sandbox, too.
     Reply
    Mike_Jahn was starred Mike_Jahn was unstarred
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