[Actress Sarah Jessica Parker walking in the West Village yesterday; image via Splash] SidAndFinancy's new line beats the original, Sarah Jessica Parker Will Not Apologize For These Sweet Threads.

[Actress Gwyneth Paltrow in Milan today; image via Splash] MattGaymon's new line beats the original, An Idea of Holland Made Manifest Out for a Stroll.

[Alex McCord from "Real Housewives of New York City" at the Metropolitan Opera's season opener last night; image via Splash] es-ki-mo's new line beats the original, Real Housewives Star Finally Admits To Being Nothing More Than a Pile of Oats.

[Model Kate Moss with Allegra Versace leaving a London Fashion Week event today; image via Splash]

[Blake Lively, star of "Gossip Girl," on set today; image via Splash] Aaron Altman's new line beats the original, Actress Displays New 'Motorcycle Pajamas'

[Actress Kirsten Dunst at Yankee Stadium yesterday; image via Splash]

At left is the wicked (and blessedly dead) Grand Moff Tarkin, high-powered henchman to Darth Vader, from the 1977 space documentary Star Wars. At right is Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin speaking at a campaign rally in Colorado yesterday. Note the similarities. We're not sayin', we're just sayin'. …

[Whitney Port, currently of The Hills and soon of "The City" shopping in Manhattan yesterday; image via Splash]

[Attend the tale of Mary Kate Olsen...who is at Fashion Week sitting next to the late director Anthony Minghella's actor son Max; image via Splash. Terrible point of reference.]

[Weathered pop singer Britney Spears celebrating her three 'Moon Men' win at last night's MTV Video Music Awards; image via Splash] 2CK's new line beats the original, Last Laugh Caught On Film.

[Deejay Sam Ronson and her beloved, rescued actress Lindsay Lohan, kissing on the muthafuckin' mouth in New York; image via Splash]

[Deejay Samantha Ronson and actress Lindsay Lohan, who are maybe a couple, taking a break on the set of the 'Ugly Betty' gay person variety hour television show yesterday; image via Splash]

[Blake Lively, a human being who exists, outside the David Letterman variety hour old person show last night; image via Splash]

[Cast members of the flailing HBO show "Entourage" filming in Tribeca today; image via Splash] Don_Is' new line beats the original, "Come Back, Good Writing! Come Baaaack!!"

["Harry Potter" and "Equus" actor Daniel Radcliffe in New York yesterday; image via Splash]

["Vogue" editrix Anna Wintour at the US Open yesterday; image via Splash] Bell County's new line beats the original, "Something About the Cold, Icy Blue Color Really Spoke to Me."

[That's a dude with a cat on his head. Apparently this had something to do with the US Open; image via Splash] Bell County's new line beats the original, O Hai. Soon I Will Pewp.

[Folk singer/activist/celebrated poet Joni Mitchell Britney Spears leaving a recording studio in the California section of the US of America; image via Splash]

["Gossip Girl" (13 days!) actor Ed Westwick filming on set yesterday; image via Splash] Steverino_Begins' new line beats the original, Ed Westwick Goofs the Floof.

[I'm sorry, but I can't help it. These photos, of Katie Holmes and her daughter by Tom Cruise Suri playing in Central Park, have been on every photo agency and I can't help but like them. Sue me. I ruined Gawker already, what more can I do. Image via Splash]