John Lennon's rotten tooth ended up selling for $31,200 at auction today.

Sexy crypt keeper Lindsay Lohan is heading back to jail, Judge Stephanie Sautner announced today after finding the troubled starlet in violation of her probation yet again.

Occupy Wall Street has engaged the fictional one percent: Mogulite reports that protesters disrupted Gossip Girl's downtown set last night, yelling "Join us!" as they marched by.

Lindsay's 17-year-old sister has seen her "boobs, ass, and vag." Kim Kardashian's reality show literally tried to cast her husband. Jason Sudeikis is dating an Olsen, but which one? Thursday gossip is sisterly.

Much-anticipated Wahlberg brother burger shop Wahlburgers is now open for business. Specialties include Wahlburgers for grownups, Smahlburgers for kids, and Stray Dogs for people who want to make hotdog penis jokes.

LiLo will disrobe for close to $1 million. Demi visits Ashton at work. Christina Hendricks craves things that are "smooth on the tongue." Gisele Bundchen pulls a Gwyneth. Tuesday gossip shakes its moneymaker.

Jessica Simpson flaunts her baby bump, but refuses to discuss it. George Clooney's lady wrestler lover cashes in on fame. Lindsay Lohan "parts ways" with her business manager. Mel Gibson spends a night not getting drunk. Monday gossip profits.

Why did Kris Humphries ditch his wedding ring to carry moving boxes? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Kingston Rossdale might be in love. Dina Lohan is shopping a memoir. Kanye's Occupy Wall Street outfit was worth more than $30,000. TGIFriday gossip.

A $39,000 backpack from the Olsen twins' luxury fashion line The Row was "the first thing that sold off the shelf," according to Ashley. "During our last economic crisis in the U.S., the only thing that went up was Hermès." That's why she designed this mind-bogglingly expensive backpack, made exclusively from the skin…

Kardashian cast mate Scott Disick is the biggest dick on television. But is his dick big, too? During an interview with xoJane.com, Kourtney referred to her baby daddy's penis as "like an elephant's trunk." Kim and Khloe immediately jumped in with their own lurid descriptions of their sister's partner's phallus. Just…

Jessica Simpson might be pregnant, unless it's just an unflattering shirt. Demi and Ashton might be breaking up. Lindsay Lohan gets reinvented as "Lyndsy." Nicole Richie's boobs look big. Wednesday gossip is hysterical about pregnancy.

Royal horror: Pippa Middle got into an upskirt photo situation at London Fashion Week. Now, the simplest way to avoid an upskirt photograph is to wear longer skirts or pants. (Or live in a world with civility. Hah! Right.) Unfortunately, starlets live in a world where the skirts are short, the cars are fancy and…

Really, Josh Charles? On the Emmy's red carpet? Josh Charles, star of Emmy-nominated drama The Good Wife, boyfriend of ballerina novelist Sophie Flack? You know your parents watch the Emmy's, right? And your high school math teacher? And your Great Aunt Judy, and her pervy husband Fred? Everyone you have ever known…

All three Kardashians blow off Kris Humphries' plus-size model sister. Mila Kunis gets hacked. A naked man with a Fudgesicle broke into Nicolas Cage's house. Padma Lakshmi bombs at an open mic night. Thursday gossip turns up its nose.

Elisabetta Canalis discusses her break-up with Clooney. Chris Brown gets out of 95 parking tickets. Ali Lohan didn't get plastic surgery, might have gotten an eating disorder. Matt Damon envies Jake Gyllenhaal's head. TGIFriday gossip.

Simon Cowell fondly recalls a successful date with "wacko" Denise Richards. Did Lady Gaga hook up with a tween idol? Madonna defends her right to hate hydrangeas. What did Ali Lohan do to her face? Thursday gossip has questions.

Labor Day is almost upon us, people, which means we need to get in our fix of celebrities of all stripes parading around in next to nothing at the beach. Let's take advantage while we still can!

Heidi Klum, the woman of a million bikinis, hangs out on the beach with her baby seal. Wait, I mean, her baby (comma) Seal.…

Don't say we never bring you the hard-hitting news. Patrick Schwarzenegger/Shriver, young son of Arnold and Maria, budding model and entrepreneur, has posed topless for a jeans ad and now there is a giant billboard of him in Los Angeles.

Old lady Aniston has somehow managed to sink her gnarled old hooks into actor/writer Justin Theroux, and though she just recently bought a bachelorette pad for herself, rumor has it she's shopping for a Manhattan townhouse she can share with her man.

National hate object Casey Anthony has surfaced, the flashbulb bounty hunters at TMZ claim. Location: Ohio. Disguise: Eyeglasses and a baseball cap. Seriously, she couldn't do better than that? We were talking plastic surgery and radical haircuts last I heard. This is just a teen movie makeover scene in reverse.