Let's take a moment to sing the praises of this week's sponsors, who manage to maintain a high level of sexiness without being all, "I never work out, like, ever, and look how tight my hot little body stays!" about it. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and have us daydream about your yoga-firmed posterior, see…

Sponsored weddings and stapled stomachs for this week's sponsors, who ensure we'll never suffer the indignity of being fired by a bony alter kocker with an unchanging haircut and a weird speech impediment. Want to join our kaffeeklatsch? There's info here.