Come to Our Beck's Beer-Filled Gawktoberfest!

Hello beer lovers (which hopefully means all of you)! Gawker and one of our fantastic sponsors, Beck's Beer, are throwing a little Oktoberfest party next week, and we'd like to see you there. We're calling it, um, Gawktoberfest, it's on Gawker HQ's roof deck, and it runs from 7-10pm next Thursday, 10/23. We'd love for all of you to come, of course, but the space can only hold so many people. So we have to limit the number to 100 folks. We're trying to be as fair as possible about who gets to come to this epic event (free food and beer!), so if you're interested, fill out the form after the jump before this Friday at noon and we'll select 100 (+1) people (who are over 21) at random from that list and notify them via email on Friday afternoon. More »

Win a Starter Wife Gift Bag and Be The Happiest Divorcée Currently Drunk In Your Living Room

Ooh ooh! Check it out y'all! A sponsor, uh, sponsored contest! This one comes from the new USA series The Starter Wife. A starter marriage is defined as a first marriage that lasts less than 5 years and is over before the couple has children. After the jump are the names of 5 former celebrity couples...to win you have to identify if they qualify as "starter marriages" according to this definition. So if the couple broke up in under five years, had no kids, and it was both parties' first marriage, the answer is Yes. If they lasted longer than five years, had kids (adoption counts!), or at least one party was previously married, then the answer is No. If you get them all right and then we select your name, you get this fabulous gift bag! More »

Valleywag pounding its sponsors

We can't say our relationship with our advertisers is as close as, say, MySpace and TechCrunch's. But we see nothing wrong with expressing our gratitude in a professional manner. Thanks go to: More »

Our Advertisers Have Suspended Their Ad Campaigns

Thanks to our sponsors this week, who dropped everything and rushed to our site to fix our economic crisis (we didn't have enough money to pay Sheila): 1800 Tequila, Becks, Choke (Fox Searchlight), Hotflops, MINI, Mike's Election Guide, Sebastian Hair Care, Starwood Hotels, TiVo, True Blood (HBO), T-Mobile, Unscrew America. Interested in putting Gawker first and joining the cause? Click here for information.

Enter This Sex Scandal Contest and Choke On It

Sex is fun! Sex scandals are even more fun. Movies are also a good time, so one of our lovely advertisers has decided to sponsor a little contest involving just those three things. After the jump you'll find a list of famous sexual liaisons, and all you have to do is name the celebrity that matches up with the once-secret lover. Of the readers who name all five correctly, one, randomly selected, will win a year's subscription to Netflix. Details after the jump! More »

Brooke Hogan Knows Every Defamer Advertiser By Name

The GOP's shining stars may elude Brooke Hogan, but no one would dare try to ambush her with a quiz about Defamer's noble advertisers. Their taste, class and leadership are omnipresent, and we're grateful to have them along for the ride. We'll bet she can name you too; advertise here and find out! More »

Valleywag announcement tomorrow: No more Seinfeld ads!

Something Valleywag has in common with Microsoft: We're also not running any ads with Jerry Seinfeld in the near future. Not that there's anything wrong with that, or with the folks who do advertise with us. Thanks go to: More »

Our Advertisers Are Not A Cesspool

Many thanks this week to our sponsors: 1800 Tequila, Becks, Choke (Fox Searchlight), Hotflops, MINI, Mike's Election Guide, Sebastian Hair Care, Starwood Hotels, TiVo, True Blood (HBO), T-Mobile, Unscrew America. Interested in hacking your way into an ad account? Click here for information.

Bill Gates's money much better than his acting

Our advertisers, thank goodness, haven't produced anything as uncomfortably awkward as Microsoft's Seinfeld commercials. Thanks go to: More »

Our Advertisers Know What the Bush Doctrine Is

Many thanks this week to our experienced, highly qualified advertisers: 1800 Tequila, Becks, Choke (Fox Searchlight), Hotflops, MINI, Mike's Election Guide, Sebastian Hair Care, Starwood Hotels, TiVo, True Blood (HBO), T-Mobile, Unscrew America. Interested in joining them in the helicopter wolf hunt? Click here to find out how.

Got money to spend? Valleywag's ad inventory is for you

The Wall Street Journal's new magazine will tell you how to fritter away your cash on luxury baubles. Some choose instead to make wise investments, like our advertisers. This week: More »

Valleywag advertisers are stars in our eyes

We wish someone would make a movie about Valleywag. But which dapper young stars would we cast as our advertisers? This week's celebrity backers: More »

Defamer Advertisers Are Hotter Than Alaskan Hockey Moms

If there's one thing we love about Defamer advertisers, it's how amenable they are to being obvious political tokens in our desperate bid to get control of the White House. Thanks guys! (Did we mention you're pretty smoking, too?) Want to be added to the ticket? Everything you need to know is right here. More »

Our Advertisers Allowed Us a Half-Day!

Hey! It's a holiday weekend! Your Kreepie Kats and Week in Review will post shortly, then we'll all get drunk. For LABOR! But before we go, we thank American Express, Chelsea Art Museum, Choke (Fox Searchlight), Cringe (Crown Publishing), Hotflops, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (Paramount), Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, MINI, New Kids on the Block, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stolichnaya, T-Mobile, and Unscrew America. They're the best! You should advertise too!

Our Advertisers Are Also Curious As To What Victoria Jackson Was Thinking

We all realize that it's been a long time since Victoria Jackson has actually made anyone laugh, so we can only hope that her comments about the "anti-Christ, whitey-hater" Barack Obama were part of some ill-conceived bit meant to relaunch her career (as a Fox News correspondent, perhaps?). Either way, our advertisers would never be caught on tape (or, for that matter, blogging) saying such backwards things. Our thanks this week go to Mother on Fire, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stolichnaya and Unscrew America. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Advertisers run rings around us

The Olympics may rule the Web, but our advertisers rule our hearts: More »

Our Advertisers Are In No Way CGI-Assisted

Unlike the way that computer generated fireworks were deployed by that shadowy cabal made up of NBC and IOC members to render the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics that much more impressive, all of our advertisers are on the up-and-up. Thanks this week go to Crunch, Mother on Fire, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stolichnaya and Unscrew America. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Our Advertisers Never Goof the Floof

Our sponsors take us on rides on their space planes, which look just like DC-8s but without engines. It's fun! So let's all thank American Express, Chelsea Art Museum, Crunch, Hotflops, MINI, Mother on Fire, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stolichnaya, T-Mobile, Unscrew America, and Sony VAIO. Want to be as Clear as us? Advertise!

Valleywag puts its money where your personal information is

Valleywag thinks its advertisers are the future of online advertising

Who needs faux-sincere product placements? Our advertisers keep on coming back for good old-fashioned banners: More »

Our Advertisers Always Know When To BCC

Unlike that (alleged) Hollywood Madame who outed some famous people when she mistakenly CC'd all of her clients in an email blast earlier this week, all of our advertisers are well-trained and cognizant of the intricacies of email ettiquette. Thanks this week go to Crunch, E!, Elegy, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stolichnaya and Unscrew America. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Our Advertisers Didn't Steal Your T-Shirt

Unlike some charmingly raffish young movie stars, Gawker sponsors respect your intellectual property. So let's thank American Express, American Jewish Committee, Crunch, E!, Elegy, MINI, Peter Cooper Village, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stolichnaya, T-Mobile, Unscrew America, and Sony VAIO. Hey, want to be an advertiser too? Click here!

Wal-Mart not advertising on Valleywag this week

No, we didn't get any money from the Walton family — we're not nearly Cuil enough. But there are some lovely advertisers we'd like to thank for funding our operations: More »

Get Between Nikki And Her Defamer Sponsors Products, You Get A Blonsky Sandwich

There really are no lengths to which some will go to secure their access to the top-notch goods and services provided by Defamer advertisers. Nudge one aside in an overhead storage compartment, you could find yourself eating a Blonsky Sandwich, and being transported via medicopter to the mainland for immediate treatment. Would you like similar protection from our sometimes overzealous readership? Everything you need is right here. More »

Our Advertisers Are Not Monsters

Thanks to our non-hell demon sponsors: American Express, E!, Sci Fi Channel, MINI, Peter Cooper Village, SOAPNet, Sobieski, Stolichnaya, T-Mobile, The Wackness, Unscrew America, Sony VAIO. Interested in joining their ranks? Info is here.

Valleywag will not tattoo advertisers' logos on its arm, sorry

We love you advertiser guys, really we do. But there's one way we will not express our feelings: getting inked with your products. Otherwise permanent gratitude goes to this week's sponsors: More »

Our Advertisers All Have Good Relationships With Their Mothers

Thanks this week go to Chelsea Art Museum, Crunch, Eight Miles High, Eve Online, AMC's Mad Men, Mighty Leaf Tea, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels and The Wackness. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Our Advertisers Are Upstaging Anna Wintour

It is so difficult not to become a puppet, right? Oh, and thanks to our lovely sponsors: Amex, Chelsea Art Museum, Crunch, Eight Miles High, Eve Online, AMC's Mad Men, Mighty Leaf Tea, Nextbook, Peter Cooper Village, SOAPNet, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Sobieski, Stoli Blueberry, T-Mobile, and The Wackness. Want to advertise with us? Yes you do.

Valleywag chooses advertisers as new object of love

Dearest advertisers: If we had a spraypaint can, we would graffiti our love — not hate — for you all over the sidewalks of the Mission. Sadly, we're all out. Thanks go to: More »

Our Advertisers Tell Funnier Jokes

Just watch—next week Joel Stein is going to write a column thanking Chelsea Art Museum, Crunch, Dotspotter, Eve Online, AMC's Mad Men, Mighty Leaf Tea, Nextbook, Peter Cooper Village, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, SOAPNet, Sobieski, Starwood Hotels, Stoli Blueberry, and TNT's Saving Grace. We got here first, Joel! Oh hey, would you like to advertise on Gawker while you're stealing our material? Click here!

Do advertisers want Valleywag to pose topless?

No one asked us, but if shedding our shirts is what it takes to show just how grateful we are to our advertisers, we're game. Hairy, pasty thanks go to: More »

Our Advertisers Are Also Anxiously Awaiting Birth Of The Chosen Twins

Thanks this week go to Chelsea Art Museum, Eight Miles High, Sobieski, and HBO's True Blood. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Our Advertisers Won't Tear Your Nuts Off

We resisted the urge to claim our lovely sponsors poo clouds. Thank us later! But for now, thank Chelsea Art Museum, Eight Miles High, Glyde, Mighty Leaf Tea, Nextbook, Peter Cooper Village, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, SEIU, Sobiaski, Stoli Blackberry, T-Mobile, HBO's True Blood. Hey fatso! You should advertise on Gawker too!

Only our sponsors get Random Play on Facebook

Who keeps us over-thirties in skin cream, health club membership fees and fresh produce bursting with age-defying anti-oxidants from the farmer's market so that we can look young enough to pass on Facebook? Our sponsors! We'd like to wham, bam and thank: More »

Our Advertisers Weren't Fooled By Anne Hathaway's Shady Ex

Thanks this week go to Chelsea Art Museum, Honda Fit, Jet Blue, MGM Grand Foxwoods, Three Olives, Top Tips for Girls and Windows Live Search. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Our Advertisers Are Very Direct, Very Passionate, Very Assertive

Once again we thank our sponsors for all the good work they do. You animals should be very grateful to Chelsea Art Museum, The Beach House, Glyde, Honda Fit, Jet Blue, MGM Grand Foxwoods, Peter Cooper Village, T-Mobile, Three Olives, Top Tips for Girls, Windows Live Search. Hey, you should advertise here too! Click here as a starting point for a larger exploration.

In a week of gay weddings, where are Valleywag's advertisers?

We love our advertisers so, so much — why, if only someone would legalize it, we might have to make like Googler Orkut Buyukkokten and boyfriend Derek Holbrook and make plans to get hitched. Until advertiser-gossip blog love is legalized, we'll stay in the closet as we thank: More »

Our Advertisers Are Withdrawing Their Names From Emmy Consideration, Too

Thanks this week go to AT&T, Honda Fit, Jet Blue, MGM Grand Foxwoods, Three Olives and Windows Live Search. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Valleywag's advertisers not dating Kevin Rose, as far as we know

Who's Kevin Rose dating this week? We've narrowed it down — not any of the fine, upstanding institutions who advertise with us. For their abstemiousness, we'd like to thank: More »

Our Advertisers Aren't Going To Promote 'The Hulk', Either

Thanks this week go to AT&T, Adele, Camp Camp, Honda Fit, Jet Blue, MGM Grand Foxwoods, MSN Toolbar, Radiohead, Showtime, Three Olives and Windows Live Search. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.