Time Inc. has fallen on hard times. Would you believe that this once-proud magazine publishing empire is now explicitly rating its editorial employees based on how friendly their writing is to advertisers?

Instagram's infamous Terms of Service expressly forbid the posting of any "nude, partially nude...pornographic or sexually suggestive photos" by users.

If How I Met Your Mother is to be believed, every person has at least one doppelgänger out there waiting to be bumped into.

For the second year in a row, Kate Upton's boobs are the face of Sports Illustrated's annual swimsuit issue. This time, however, she almost died putting them there.

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Candice Swanepoel went to a Victoria's Secret event yesterday and made the fatal mistake of bending over. Now the blogosphere is "shocked" that she is "scarily, skeletally, stick-thin!" But is she any thinner than the size she has been rewarded for being, for years?

In a year where Tiger Woods provided endless entertainment, Michael Vick made his triumphant return and Lebron James became the most hated man in America the choices were endless. Sports Illustrated chose Drew Brees as their chosen one this year.

All that drama from screwing a bunch of hoochies only cost Tiger Woods $10 million, apparently. He's still atop Sports Illustrated's list of highest-paid athletes, having raked in $90 million last year. Elin must be thrilled to hear that, no?

Click to viewApple has been trying to keep scantily-clad women out of the iPhone app store. It's a hypocritical crackdown, with apps from Playboy and Sports Illustrated given a free pass. And it's going to ruin the iPad for magazine content.

This is a pretty darn cool video from Time Inc. about its forthcoming tablet. Cool, that is, if you can forgive the gratuitous feature for fingering half-naked models.

According to Sports Illustrated anyway. An email tipster says the magazine will hand the title to the Yankees captain on Monday in a story by baseball writer Tom Verducci. But what about Elizabeth Lambert?

Give thanks: Time Inc.'s now-annual autumn cuts are tough but not horrific. The magazine group will eventually fire 400-500 people, primarily from its news division, the New York Times reports. Sports Illustrated took the first hit. (Update: Buyouts on offer.)

Brad and Angelina enjoy pool sex, Lady Gaga is a confirmed hermaphrodite, Constantine Maroulis gets beat up over Paula Abdul at Ciprianis, Patrick Swayze is recovering nicely, Britney looks good in a white bikini and Paris and Douglas Reinhardt reunite.

Ha, noted radical political journal Sports Illustrated is running these ads in South Africa insinuating that SI is very, you know, radical, and political. A big black panther for the '68 Olympics, Fight the Power! How did SI really cover that story? We will show you!

It's truly a weekend for embarrassing apologies: Now Alex Rodriguez is sorry for calling that Sports Illustrated reporter a stalky burglar. His apology was buried even better than Chris Brown's.

Computer illiterate masturbators of the world, take heed: your 2009 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl is Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend Bar Refaeli. Allegedly.