The No Money Team
In the sixth round last night, the fight started in the crowd.
The Black Hole of Mayweather-Pacquiao
“It’s Jamie Foxx!” The young man standing outside the MGM’s KA Theatre grabbed his girlfriend’s arm. “There! Walking this way!”
It Is Fight Week and Las Vegas Is a Timeless Vortex
“You here for the fight?” said my cab driver, who looked like a less successful Guy Fieri. “I used to work for referee Jay Nady, the highest grossing boxing referee of all time.” He gestured out the window at a stoplight. “See that cab? That’s Jay Nady’s cab company right there. The ones with the ‘A.’ The ‘A’ is for…
Lord Nelson, Former Football Star, Professor, Cop, Horse, Dead at 42
Lord Nelson, a horse who was also a Rutgers professor and a former cop, died Sunday. He was 42.
Some Prankster Got a Meme Called "Dick Butt" Placed on a Formula 1 Car
Meet Dick Butt, an obscure-ish internet meme that originated from a webcomic in 2006, spread to 4chan, then Reddit, then the rest of the internet, and ended up affixed to the side of Ferrari's Formula 1 car this week. This is the story of Dick Butt's incredible journey.
Soccer Fans to Get Free Access to Museums So They Don't Destroy Cities
You look like you love sports. Would you ever fuck up a historical monument in order to prove to the world how much you really loved sport(s)? Would you rather go to a museum to prove that you love sports—and art—thereby killing two birds with one stone? I like where your head is at.
How Poor Are You Compared to Cristiano Ronaldo? Let's Find Out!
Cristiano Ronaldo is a soccer superstar who makes a boatload of money kicking balls into goals. How much money does Spanish club Real Madrid pay him? Somewhere near twenty million dollars ($) a year. Have you ever wanted to know how poor you are in comparison to the Portuguese footballer? Follow me.
Psychic Clam Predicts Super Bowl XLIX Winner: Seahawks or Patriots?
Clam the psychic clam, the clairvoyant sensation known around the world for his (her?) stunning record of World Cup predictions, has emerged from the grottos of prophecy to predict the winner of this weekend's Super Bowl XLIX.
A Non Sports Fan's Guide to the Deflated-Ball Scandal Engulfing Football
Last weekend, this year’s Super Bowl matchup was decided when the Seattle Seahawks defeated the Green Bay Packers and the New England Patriots blew out the Indianapolis Colts. But instead of talking the Super Bowl, sports fans are obsessing over a hilarious controversy involving the Patriots deflating footballs.
Best Girls' Basketball Coach on Fucking Earth Not Sorry for 161-2 Win
A high school girls' basketball coach has been suspended for being too successful at his job after his team won by a hilarious 161-2, even with starters sitting out the entire second half. The school deemed the magnificent victory a show of "questionable sportsmanship."
A five-year-old boy who heard that the University of Alabama-Birmingham was canceling its football program sent his entire $1 allowance to the school to try to save it. That's not nearly enough—his useless gesture was a failure.
LeBron James Warmed Up in an "I Can't Breathe" Protest Shirt Tonight
Picking up on the precedent set by Chicago's Derrick Rose on Saturday, LeBron James warmed up for tonight's Cavaliers-Nets game in Brooklyn in an Eric Garner protest t-shirt of his own. Other stars wearing the shirts reportedly included Kyrie Irving, Deron Williams, and Kevin Garnett:
How would you describe the New York City Marathon, an endurance footrace of 26.2 miles? If you would call it a "glorious cross-city sprint," you might have a future at the New York Times sports desk.
NJ High School Football Team Hazing Included Fingers In Butts
Daily hazing on a New Jersey high school football team allegedly involved seniors shoving fingers up the rectums of younger players, NJ.com exclusively reports. Sayreville War Memorial High School's entire football season has been cancelled as a result, Sayreville's superintendent, Richard Labbe, told the press on…
Female Saudi Arabian Soccer Lunatics Berated by Wimpy Online Trolls
Two female Saudi Arabian soccer fans attending a match last week between their beloved home team and the United Arab Emirates' Al Ain FC in the UAE were captured on video celebrating, then mourning their team's loss at a public stadium. The video has resulted in a heinous backlash from men online who believe the women…
The Real Secret to Talking Sports With Any Woman
If you were a trash person, you'd assume that women didn't like sports and that, as Men's Health Magazine indicates, we only follow them if there's "a story line." Your argument, if you were made of trash, would be that women can't understand statistics or they don't have attention spans long enough to sit through a…
Millennial Basketball Player Thinks His Mediocrity Should Impress You
Generational stereotypes are grotesquely dumb and unfair, which makes it entertaining when someone genuinely lives up to one. Obviously people in their 20s are not the complacent, self-esteem-bloated solipsists that the popular culture supposes them to be.
Texas College Softball Bus Hit by Tractor-Trailer in OK, Killing Four
A bus carrying the North Central Texas College softball team through Oklahoma was struck by a tractor-trailer late Friday night, killing four and injuring fifteen. The tractor-trailer had allegedly crossed over the center median of highway I-35.
The Daily Show Clip Racist Redskins Fans Don’t Want You to See
Over the weekend, we learned that a Daily Show-staged showdown between Native American activists and supporters of the Washington Redskins name left at least one of the Redskins fans feeling "in danger" and "defamed." Last night, that segment aired.
