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Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'

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BxgrlJeri
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
It's so easy to see what is going on here.

Feinstein almost said "empire" instead of umpire.

The New York Yankees are known as the Evil Empire.

Sotomayor is a Yankee fan.

Umpires hate the Yankees and always call against them.

They especially hate Derek Jeter and make up rules just to call him out.

When Derek protests, umpires say they respect Derek Jeter but he is hallucinating being safe.

So are we confirming her or what?

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Xylo
07/13/09

@BxgrlJeri: Apparently we still have to hear from David Cone, an actual former Major League Baseball player, who is scheduled as a wtness.

If making Supreme Court decisions is as (allegedly) easy as calling balls and strikes, apparently these senators think there is only one right decision.
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CoffeyWasHere
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
I'm pretty sure Balls & Strikes is the nickname for a gay labor union.
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Mediahohoho
07/13/09

@CoffeyWasHere: Gay bowling team. See below. They roll against the Pin Pals next Tuesday.
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HiredGoons
07/13/09

@Mediahohoho: I'm on the Gutter Whores.
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badasscat
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
I think a Supreme Court justice is more like a bowling pin, and a 5-4 decision is like a 7-10 split. That would make congress the pin-setting machine. And the President is like a bowling ball. Or maybe the bowling balls are the lawyers. The plaintiffs and defendants are like the gutters, because everybody loses! And the kickbacks and bribes are the wax on the lanes - a little more here and a little less there can make the ball go one direction or another.

See? It's a perfect analogy.
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Mediahohoho
07/13/09

@badasscat: Plus, the best part of the whole damn experience is having soothing warm air blown up your ass...er, I mean, on your palm.
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Anthony De Rosa
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
But can she bunt?
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HurtsSoGood
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
I would at least hope the ump's eyeglass prescription is up to date.
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Pope John Peeps II
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
Really though being a Senator is a lot like being a penis. You sit around for most of your life limp and impotent, you get rigid over really dumb things, and often you get to mingle with a ****.
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BookishLookish
07/13/09

@Pope John Peeps II: With a slut? With a duck? You demure Canadians are always keeping me guessing.
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Pope John Peeps II
07/13/09

@BookishLookish: Well, it's a C word, referring to senators and not to ladies, but I didn't want to type it...
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Xylo
07/13/09

@Pope John Peeps II: Cousin?
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Paul.B.Dodd
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
Let's stretch out the sports analogy even further.

Roberts probably used the baseball analogy because he was raised in Northwest Indiana, which as we all know if Cubs territory. You would have thought Roberts would use a basketball analogy because he was raised in hoops-crazy Indiana but we all know that basketball referees are corrupt and favor big-market teams like the Lakers and Knicks. Roberts, being the incorruptible and scrupulous judge that he is, choose to align himself with the arbiter of America's pastime rather than officials in a sport populated by minorities and Europeans.

Now, Cornyn is from Texas and everything they do there is referred back to football sooner or later. We should ask Cornyn what kind of quarterback is he referring to in his analogy? A gun-slinger, gambler type like Brett Favre, astudious, savant type like Peyton Manning, a dashing matinee idol type like Tom Brady, or a born-again, bible-thumping accidental MVP like Kurt Warner?
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Mediahohoho
07/13/09

@Paul.B.Dodd: I'm sure Cornyn was referring to St. Roger of Dallas, after whom God ceased creating Supreme Court caliber QBs.
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MrInBetween
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'

Future Supreme Court Justice, "Mr. Cheap Seats..."
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Richard Lawson
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
To me, a Supreme Court Justice is like the shuttlecock in a game of jai alai played in a curling arena while cricket balls are being juggled in a corner by a coxswain.
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Colonel Mustard
07/13/09

@Richard Lawson: Particularly troublesome to me is Sotomayor's weak stance on "gray area" issues, such as the Pamchenko.
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Spirit Fingers
07/13/09

@Colonel Mustard: I love that movie. Long live D.B. Sweeney! Not at all.
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choinski
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
Nothing says "America needs to defend itself against racism" than a bunch of old, fat white men with barely decipherable, excruciatingly slow, southern drawls
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i'm a bottle
07/13/09

@choinski: ...talking about sports as if it actually mattered.
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Edited by i'm a bottle at 07/13/09 4:18 PM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred

BadUncle
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
Really, though, aren't the Justices just like bookies, and democracy is the vig?

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BookishLookish
07/13/09

@BadUncle: And we're all waiting for our trifecta to come in so we can opt out.
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Lymed
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
The most infamous umpire from my little league dated one of my friends when he was in his 20's and she was in the 8th grade. He later became a State Assemblyman. This is not how I believe the judicial system should work.
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Aaron Altman
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'

Call it, Judge Sotomayor! Call it!
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i'm a bottle
07/13/09

@Aaron Altman: Here empathy for the boy against the powerful Baltimore Orioles franchise would play a major factor in her decision.
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i'm a bottle
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
She looks greatly bemused by the sports analogies. I would be. I wish politicians would stop using them; they are wildly inaccurate. The only purpose they serve is as completely dumbed down discourse for consumption by the Fox News audience.
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Mediahohoho
07/13/09

@i'm a bottle: Not sure how bewildered she should be considering the fact that settling the baseball strike is a major CV bragpoint for her. Personally, I think getting MLB started again is one of history's great crimes against humanity.
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i'm a bottle
07/13/09

@Mediahohoho: Not bewildered, bemused. Stupefied, enchanted, intoxicated by the vapidity of their questions (be+muse).
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Edited by i'm a bottle at 07/13/09 5:31 PM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred

Mediahohoho
07/13/09

@i'm a bottle: You know, that occurred to me. But then I committed, like a pitcher throwing toward the runner at first while facing the plate. Balk.
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i'm a bottle
07/13/09

@Mediahohoho: Look at the face on her! It's like she's hypnotized, like she can't believe she's hearing what she's hearing! Non?
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Mediahohoho
07/13/09

@i'm a bottle: Totally. I'm sure that by the time you do the confirmation shuffle for the third time, you develop little mini mental-vacation strategies to get you through the bloviating. I'm quite sure her toes were in the sand and she was sipping a frosty drink with an umbrella in it most of the day.
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i'm a bottle
07/13/09

@Mediahohoho: ...or, thinking about the Jon and Kate Gosselin divorce.
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Senor_Macho_Solo
07/13/09

In reply to Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'
The Senate/House annual softball game is about to get a lot more deliberative.
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