Tupac Reveals Beverage Preference
“Sprite,” the sweet nectar that is sucked from the veins of rappers by advertising industry vampires, has claimed another victim.
Here's How Sprite Tries to Buy Off Reporters With Free Tickets
Here is an email illustrating how brands (Sprite, in this case) pay off reporters and bloggers with free stuff as a direct quid pro quo for coverage. There's also some info about a TOP SECRET Drake and Nas concert we would like to share.
Intruder Guzzles Sprite, Gets Naked, Falls Asleep In Strangers' House
Police have reported that an intruder broke into a couple's home in Albuquerque, N.M. on Sunday evening, put back a big ole bottle of Sprite, then got naked. The couple allegedly found the trespassing hero asleep in their bed, like some blissful adult male Goldilocks.
In need of a hangover cure? Try greasy breakfast food, wheatgrass, Pedialyte, exercise, Alka-Seltzer, Netflix, sleeping all day, crying in the shower, or Sprite. And next year, try a little self control.
Coca-Cola Develops New Flavor Just For Our Future Chinese Overlords
Well, that's it. China's eventual world domination has been the subject of speculation for years but today it is official. Coke has given China a delicious new green tea-flavored soft drink. And we don't even get it!
White Sorority Step Show Win Destroys Obama's American Dream
America's Greatest Controversy on this day in history: did a white sorority win a step show competition, ZOMG? Or would the world maybe blow up if something like that happened? And also Sprite is so racist, against Obama.
Drake Stars in the Most WTF-Worthy Soda Commercial of All Time
Instead of having Drake rap about how their lemon-lime soda is the best he's ever had, Sprite opted to freak everyone in America out. Watch as Drake nonchalantly busts into a million sprite hemorrhaging, robotic pieces.
Fake Sprite Ad Director Speaks: It Was Fake. Duh.
Max Isaacson, who directed the fake Sprite Blow Job Spec Ad that was too hot for the world emails: it was a spec ad. Not a real ad. Not connected to the Coca-Cola Company! Hopefully they won't sue him now.
Sex Ads Are Spec Ads, Okay?
Look, it is a scandalously explicit blowjob-oriented advertisement for the Sprite beverage! But wait, Twitterererers: this is a spec ad. What's a spec ad? A sexy one.
