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Stalkers

Justice Jack Jordan, who sent Uma Thurman lots of crazy letters and liked to hang around outside her apartment, must keep away from the actress for five years, per order of the Manhattan Supreme Court. After that, it's fair game. In the meantime, Jordan will stalk Oprah.

explanations

Find Where Facebook Ranks Your Friends

This morning we posted the "Nefarious O Value" theory of the mystery Facebook Stalker feature. Now, a second tech-savvy tipster writes in with step-by-step instructions for how to find Facebook's unexplained "O" ranking for every single one of your friends on the site. In other words—from what we can gather, at least—there's a file on your computer that tells you exactly how the site's algorithms rank each and every person in your social circle. The instructions are after the jump. Please write in and let us know what your results are. The code may soon be cracked! More »

mysteries

The "Nefarious O Value" Facebook Stalker Theory

Yesterday we posted five theories about the mysterious Facebook Stalker feature—the one some people think is an undercover way to identify those ex-lovers who are still pining for you, although that is totally unconfirmed and probably false. But we have to admit, none of those theories involved any weird computer language or technical terms. But an astute reader has sent us a theory that, based on the fact that I can't really understand its technical talk, sounds very insightful. We'll call it the "Nefarious O Value" theory. The full email is after the jump. More »

mysteries

Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature

Aha—Facebook has issued a statement on the mysterious stalker feature that we spent all day covering: "Facebook tries to surface the people we think are most important to users to make it easier and faster for them to navigate the site and find what they are looking for...The search drop down is not a list of those that have searched for the user. It is also not a list of people whose profile the user has viewed the most or who have viewed the user's profile the most. To avoid any confusion, this will no longer appear." See, you were too stupid to handle it! But wait: as our commenters figured out in about one minute flat, typing a period (".") in the search box brings up the same five-person list. And are they really your "most important users?" Random. We urge continued experimentation.

mysteries

Gawker Kills Facebook Stalker Feature?

And it's gone! It appears that the mysterious Facebook stalker feature—that allowed you to call up the names of five people who (we think) were searching for you most, just by pressing the down arrow in the search field—has been disabled. Our post on the feature went up shortly after 1:00; by 4:30 (or possibly earlier, based on our comments), it was no longer working. They're quick! We have an email in to Facebook to find out exactly what happened. How could they take it down without even explaining what it was? They mystery is eating us up inside. We will find the truth. [UPDATE: As noted in the comments, it looks like simply typing a period (".") in the search box will still bring up the same list of five people. Hope is not lost!]

mysteries

Who's Stalking You On Facebook?

A tipster notes that if you go to your Facebook page, click on the search box, and then hit the down arrow, up pops a list of the five people who search for your name most often. It seems to work! Although maybe it's just five random people. And maybe you all know this already? In any case, it's something to talk about with nerds. UPDATE: Well, this post has generated quite a bit of disagreement! Below, five thoughtful theories attempting to solve this pressing mystery: More »

Uma Thurman's Stalker The Kill Bill actress' most avid fan—a former mental patient who wrote that Thurman's two children were an illusion—has been found guilty of stalking and aggravated harassment.

celebrities

Is George Clooney The Nemesis Of The Tabloid Economy?

George Clooney has jokes. His latest celebrity-based antics: a swarm of paparazzi descended upon his house in Italy after a (false) rumor spread that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were going to be getting married there. Clooney, who was away working, heard about this, and ordered 15 large wedding tables to be set up on the house's lawn. The paps went crazy [Hollyscoop]! Clooney laughed. He's a funny guy. But there's more to this than just a friendly joke. Because George Clooney, one of the biggest celebrities in the world, doesn't just want to make himself chuckle; he wants to undermine the entire celebrity economy that gives him his lofty position in the first place. More »

celebrity

People Cannot Stop Stalking Jodie Foster

Poor Jodie Foster has another stalker. You may remember that the stern, mysterious actress had some problems back when she was a Yale student in the 80's. First John Hinckley Jr., a 23-year-old who became obsessed with Foster after seeing her littlest sexpot turn in Taxi Driver, followed her around campus, called her on the phone, and, you know, shot president Ronald Reagan and three others in an attempt to impress her. More »

stalkers

Being A Paparazzi Is A Lot Of Work

Comedian Orny Adams got an assignment from ET to go out stalking the paparazzi in LA. Well, it's not as much stalking as it is a "bring Orny Adams, documentarian, to work" day for the paps. But if you ever wanted an inside look at the daily grind of tracking Britney Spears (which pays well enough to afford a Lamborghini, apparently), this is a good one. Not that it will inspire you to join the ranks of the stalkers. The full clip, after the jump. More »

The creepy Conan-stalking priest was a frequent poster to NBC's Late Night message boards, natch. One old gem from "Padre 009": "I'm a LIAR OK??? Imagine that— a priest who LIES AND LIES AND LIES. Doesn't that thrill all of you, really and strengthen your grip on sanity?? It should....?" [Bostonist]

The saddest part of the on-going WGA strike just might be that it'll prevent Catholic priest David Ajemian from successfully stalking Conan O'Brien. The priest, 46, was arrested last week after sending O'Brien weird letters, harassing his parents and finally showing up at Late Night's studio. "I want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution—or a spot on your couch," Ajemain wrote in one of his stalky letters. The Boston Globe points out that Ajemain went to Harvard, just like Conan, so maybe they totally know each other because how big could Harvard be? The Church has placed Ajemain "on leave." We are not sure what being "on leave" from being a Priest involves but maybe now he's allowed to take "spots" on people's couches. [Boston.com, TSG]

alec baldwin

Gossip Roundup: Hilary Duff Actually Believes She's Worth Stalking

Hilary Duff and Joel Madden are seeking a restraining order against a 19-year-old Russian man who, they believe, came to the states "for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff." Christ, Lizzie, don't flatter yourself. [TMZ]
• After Alec Baldwin was photographed yelling at a police officer on the scene of that inconvenient Cory Lidle plane crash, he then headed over to the Grand Havana Room to berate the ESL crowd. [Page Six]
• Dixie Chick Natalie Maines still thinks that "Bush is a dumb fuck." [R&M]
• A Telepictures interview with John Mark Karr, the creepy freak who falsely claimed to have killed JonBenet Ramsey, was too disgusting for Good Morning America. Karr was paid for the interview, given six drinks beforehand, and told that it was just a run-through, though it wasn't. The dubious situation is perfect for the Today show, wh ich bought the footage. [Page Six]
• K-Fed says his kids come first. Aw, shit, K-Fed — you one funny playa! [People]