Fashion's favorite chic hackerette is hosting an event again! This Friday night from 7-9, Wise will be on-hand at the Alice + Olivia pop-up shop at Scoop on 73rd and 3rd Avenue along with Bettina Prentice, Dabney Mercer, Tinsley Mortimer, Cory Kennedy and more.

Justin Timberlake's stalker—surprisingly, not Brittney Spears—one Ms. Karen McNeil, was busted on Timberlake's property last week. When asked to leave, she wouldn't. So Timberlake danced out a restraining order on this psycho, who'd also tried to follow Axl Rose. Which is sad for Justin Timberlake's publicist. So is the fact that, instead of just loving Justin, she's apparently being possessed by witches. Witches? Witches!

In the nonsensical ramblings, Karen states that she has been targeted by "Babylon witches" who seek to cast their "evil" on her.

Babylon witches? WTF? Has Robert Moses State Park really gotten that bad?

But Timberlake isn't the only one. Ryan Seacrest has a creepy leprechaun who thinks he's been made in Seacrest's image, or something. No, but seriously, this guy's scary, and he has a knife, and now Seacrest has a restraining order against him:

Lawyers for Seacrest got the order from a Los Angeles judge on Friday after Chidi Benjamin Uzomah Jr. was detained at the E! Entertainment Television headquarters the same day. Records show the 25-year-old man is already on probation for a previous incident involving Seacrest. Last month, Uzomah pleaded guilty to three misdemeanours, including carrying a switchblade knife as well as assault and battery. That was after he attacked one of Seacrest's bodyguards outside an event.

Who else? Miley Cyrus has had a ghoulish, pervy, 53 year-old stalker. Who just went free today. This was the guy who thought he was getting secret messages from Miley through the television a la Videodrome. Whereas we all hear "this music sucks, listen to something else," this creep hears, well, someone telling him to do creepy things. Which makes him crazy.

So what's there to understand about these people? Why do they think famous people give a shit about them, you know, besides the fact that they're mentally ill? What causes it? If the Stalker button on the top of this page is blatantly evident voyeurism, among other things, what goes beyond it? I'm sure it's still being studied, somewhere. In the mean time, Bret Easton Ellis plans on showing us the answer. Who else? Ellis is adapting a book for TV about Young Hollywood as seen through the eyes of a stalker. Wonder if he did his research on subjects close to him. Then again, considering his definition of "scary," he might be trying to teach us something. The stalked are scarier than the stalker, maybe?

Nah. Despite the fact that Hollywood's full of scary people, the people they spawn and inspire are even scarier.

Celebrities: they're nothing like us.

[Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

The PR world is so backstabby.

Manhattan p.r. princess Ali Wise would hack into the voice mails of one of her love rivals to gather ammunition against her — then turn around and call her to taunt her with it, a source close to the case said yesterday.

Wise also made hang-up calls to pals of the victim, Briana Rasinski, with a device that left Rasinski's phone number on their caller IDs, the source said.

That's pretty psycho, allegedly! To be completely fair, I got an email from an (alleged) anonymous friend of Ali's defending her, saying "The tabloid press is mean-spirited and they don't fact check" (true) and "the girl is going thru hell" (probably true) and "She is funny, smart, pretty, vivacious and guys have always LOVED her" (seems plausible) and "Guys have been obsessed with her to the point where her friends jokingly ask Ali advice on how she make guys fall so hard! Ali could write the book!" (dunno).
There are two sides to every crazy, crazy story.
[Pic: Getty]

After former D&G flack Ali Wise got charged with four felonies yesterday for electronic eavesdropping and other fuckery, the New York Post asked itself: "Will her friends and colleagues stick by her crazy ass, now?" Which was itself a response to the question, "How can we keep this story going another day, in order to run another photo of Ali Wise in our newspaper?"

Anyhow the answer to the first question is "No," obviously. Nobody in their right mind would hire her for a similar PR position now, which is what everyone told the paper, duh. But the story was worthwhile for this paragraph alone:

Wise's spokesman disputed that she was unhireable, noting she "has been approached about many different opportunities and is currently serving as a consultant on several high-profile, philanthropic events in the media and entertainment industries."

MMM HMM. Haha. We hope so!
[Pic: Getty]

The most fascinating thing about Ali Wise's craziness is its very pedestrian nature—pedestrian on crystal meth, maybe, but still. She didn't snap and murder her ex's lover in a jealous rage; that's been done. Instead, she hacked into their voicemails, deleting messages as she went. It's a nightmare, because who would believe you when you told them you didn't return their call or make that appointment because your messages were surreptitiously deleted by a jealous, tech-savvy fashion publicist? The crime's unlikely nature is what makes it deadly (socially).

Anyhow, cops say that Ali didn't just go all Hackers on one lady interested in her ex, Downtown Records boss Josh Deutsch; she was all up in everybody's voicemail. The NYP reports:

As if to prove the axiom that publicists are forever on the phone, the 337 "hacked" calls Wise allegedly made into Freudenberger's cell and landline voice-mail systems were just the beginning.

She made at least 137 additional calls into the voice mails of Victim No. 2, at least 119 calls into the voice mails of Victim No. 3, and at least 102 calls into the voice mails of Victim No. 4, the criminal complaint says.

She's facing charges of trespassing, tampering, eavesdropping, and stalking. Girl, you know he's not worth it!
[Pic: Getty]

A website called Irish Central claims to have a source in the police department - and, come on, it's New York, of course they do - detailing the city's cops disbelief with what the young star's security detail has on their hands, and even more, the fact that they think they're at all capable of dealing with it.

"Enough is enough," said a highly-placed official at Police Headquarters. "His security people aren't up to the task of keeping him safe, and they have no idea how to deal with the crowds this guy attracts." The source pointed to a well-publicized incident in which Pattinson ran from a crowd of admirers and was slightly injured when he was struck by a taxi.

"That's amateur hour," the police spokesman said. "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous."

The post goes further into detail about how overwhelmed his current protection is, and how they don't know how to deal with the massive crowds that show up wherever he goes. Pattinson's also apparently fairly disturbed by the attention he attracts, which, besides being inconvient and scary, is also a source of embarrassment to him. And honestly, if I were followed by Twilight fans wherever I went, I'd be embarrassed, too. Pattinson's probably still cursing JK Rowling for (SPOILER ALERT) killing his character in the fourth film in the Harry Potter series. If only he could go back to a time more magical, less, uh, psychologically fraught with emotional peril.

Young Pattinson already hates the women of New York for trying to murder him. He tried buying one of his stalkers dinner, it didn't work. He stalkers have proven themselves to generally be sexually charged alcoholic ragers. It really is out of control. Yeah, he's a bankable movie star and fine as far as genetics go. But he seems to be an otherwise nice, normal guy who invokes the hidden sexual pathos (which then manifests into bloodthirst) of what might sometimes be fairly normal human beings. Until he does receive his police protection, he can go with the whole cross/garlic combo to stave off the bloodthirsty Spinsters In Training. Or at least get a stun gun.

'Twilight' star Pattinson may be in N.Y. Police Department's spotlight [Irish Central]

Whoa. Read that over again. According to a blockbuster report in The Guardian yesterday:

But one senior source at the Met told the Guardian that during the Goodman inquiry, officers found evidence of News Group staff using private investigators who hacked into "thousands" of mobile phones. Another source with direct knowledge of the police findings put the figure at "two or three thousand" mobiles. They suggest that MPs from all three parties and cabinet ministers, including former deputy prime minister John Prescott and former culture secretary Tessa Jowell, were among the targets.

All of this reportedly surfaced after a News of the World reporter was jailed two years ago for hacking phones. At the time, the company said it was an isolated incident. But if the Guardian's report is true, Murdoch's UK tabloids are—incredibly—even more despicable than we would have thought. The Guardian says that the company has paid one million pounds in out-of-court settlements to keep it all quiet. It also insinuates that top editors including Rebekah Wade could be implicated, though the extent of individual executives' knowledge is not clear.

Rupert Murdoch has already denied the report. But for Americans, the story is already being cast as a direct, veiled assault on Murdoch himself. Not just because he's the lone News Corp. figure familiar to most Americans, but because every US competitor paper would love to see him smeared! Chiefly, the New York Times—who put the story on the front page of their website, and were sure to include the phrase "Murdoch Papers" in the headline. [The "Murdoch Papers" are the papers of News Corp's News International division: the Times of London and the Sunday Times (more respectable), and the News of the World and The Sun (dirty).]

So what we have here is, potentially, a clear case of blatant criminal misconduct at some of the biggest papers owned the world's biggest newspaper mogul—and this case could go all the way to the top. Or it could not! But watch gleefully as the New York Times reports the hell out of it, waging a newspaper war in its own "What newspaper war?" way. (Where are you on this, NY Daily News?). And really, this is beyond the pale, even for what are some of the least scrupulous papers in the world. Hacking phones and hiring private eyes are scumbag tactics. We would even expect better from Rupert Murdoch.

[Guardian, NYT. Pic: Getty]

So Marion Barry is still technically married but he and his wife have been separated for years, and he has an ex-girlfriend named Donna Watts-Brighthaupt, and she and Barry decided to take a drive up to Rehoboth Beach, but somewhere around Annapolis they got in a spat and decided to turn around and go home, and then a few hours later Marion Barry was arrested by the god damn US Park Police, who are always on his ass about something. What happened, there? All we know for sure is that Marion Barry and those he associates with have a very loose definition of an "ex."

There is no disagreement that the couple returned to Watts-Brighthaupt's home in Southeast Washington, where her ex-husband, Delonta Brighthaupt, was staying to watch her West Highland terrier. After some time, Barry left in one car, and Watts-Brighthaupt and Brighthaupt left in another. Both cars ended up in Anacostia Park.

So Barry happened on his ex-girlfriend with her ex-husband. Who the hell knows where his wife was, at the time. Hundreds of miles away, if she's lucky. So somewhere in there his ex-girlfriend told cops Marion Barry was "bothering her," and boom, right into the clink he goes! Fucking Park Police, again!

In 2002, Park Police said they found traces of marijuana and crack cocaine in his car. Barry said the drugs were planted. No charges were filed. In 2006, Park Police pulled Barry over for driving too slowly and cited him for driving on a suspended license; he accused the agency of unfairly targeting him.

God damn park cops, they're worse than mall cops! Marion Barry is currently on the DC City Council so he has to play his cards very carefully. He had his attorney lay it on the line:

Cooke, who would not let Barry speak, accused Watts-Brighthaupt of "instability."

Uh. Of course she is. Who else would take a trip to the shore with her "ex," Marion Barry?
[WP. Pic via]

Amy DuPont, a morning anchor, said she's gotten more than 20 emails in the past two years from a mysterious "Mario," who "wrote that he was sick of hearing about her child and she was bad at her job." Haha! Oh but yea, this:

Meteorologist Zach Brown's roommate Jonathan Edwards admitted sending them. He said DuPont was mean to Brown but Brown never stuck up for himself. Brown said he knew his roommate was sending them and asked him to stop.

WXOW-TV news director Sean Dwyer said Brown no longer works at the station.

If they're not already optioning this for 'Anchorman 2' then I am very disappointed in Hollywood.
[Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]

Brent Walth wrote about Breedlove for The Oregonian in January, but now Breedlove says it's gone too far:

In his petition [for a restraining order], filed in Multnomah County Circuit Court, Breedlove characterized the contacts as threatening, alleging that Walth said he would publish damaging information about Breedlove unless he agreed to an interview.

The paper calls the allegations "absurd." Just be glad you didn't have a hot gay fling with a politico on New York City, Beau, because, whoa!
[Oregonian]

Since her brother, Facebook's Aspergerian CEO, is incapable of normal interactions with people on camera (or off), Randi has taken on the role of the face of Facebook. So her people arranged a whirlwind tour of the nation's media capital: 30 Rock! CBS! Good Morning America! MTV! Colbert!

She capped the day off with a "private" dinner with Ms. Magazine founder Gloria Steinem (of the Gloria Steinem Steinems). Private, that is, except for a certain notorious nobody who crashed the affair: Julia Allison, the vaguely employed former dating columnist, celebrity microblogger, and nontrepreneur. (Randi once popped in between her brother and Allison to prevent a shot of the two side by side from circulating on the Internet. Allison has since expertly employed guilt to worm her way into Randi's circle and extract professional favors from her employer.)

The two were all smiles during a photo op with Steinem. Oh, and then Allison "randomly" bumped into her at the MTV offices the next morning. One can't help thinking that the experience left Randi smarting. She seemed downright testy after an altercation with a bouncer at Manhattan nightclub Apothecary, even threatening to abuse the power of her position to erase the hotspot from the social graph:

(Photo by Julia Allison, naturally)

If you are Jennifer Dicks of Phoenix, the answer is the latter. See, Dicks got a loan from the "Auto Financing Network" and bought a Chevy Cavalier. She fell behind on payments! And then the president of the company started obsessively texting her, and then they registered the url of her name to plant a site titled "Jennifer Dicks isn't paying for her Cavalier!" and they claimed to have installed a GPS tracking device in her car and basically it was a lot of weird stalker shit.

Read some of the creepy texts at TPM! And don't get a loan from these people!

Amanda Terkel wrote something saying Bill O'Reilly shouldn't insinuate that girls who drink and wear halter tops had that rape coming, because they are dirty, dirty girls. Who would write such a thing except an anti-American whore? Bill O'Reilly sent his psycho stalker producer, Jesse Watters, to find out:

– The Stalking: Watters and his camera man accosted me at approximately 3:45 p.m. on Saturday, March 21, in Winchester, VA, which is a two-hour drive from Washington, DC. My friend and I were in this small town for a short weekend vacation and had told no one about where we were going. I can only infer that the two men staked out my apartment and then followed me for two hours. Looking back, my friend and I remember seeing their tan SUV following us for much of the trip.

Watters ran up hollering incoherent questions at her as usual, but really, a tan SUV following you for two hours after a stakeout? That's grounds for wild shotgunning into the dark night in many Southern states. [ThinkProgress. On the topic of "O'Reilly, Bill, stalking and the hypocrisy of his position thereon," see also:]

He tells the New York Daily News that they have a dialogue where he talks to the 16-year-old (out loud maybe?) and she responds through her various paparazzi photos. So... that's... Um. That's good. He'd also like to marry her, but probably first needs the permission of his FLDS leader and maybe Pa Cyrus, Billy Ray, who, probably, plans to declare prima nocte. So! Everyone's terrifying!

Thanks, Videogum, for the scary story.

Jared Leto? Start practicing your twang.

But Abdul, who was on the show to promote a jewelry line, spoke of the incident in a trembly voice, and was probably as serious as Letterman had been when she leapt from her seat as though she would leave the show. There wasn't much real hostility — but plenty of fear. Clip after the jump.

Abdul said "Idol" producers ignored her protests and brought Goodspeed on the show "for entertainment value."

"It's fun for them to cause me stress," Abdul said. "This was something that would make good television."

Abdul is selling her house, but the tragedy now threatens to snowball into a shameful fiasco for Fox. Idol relies on a hard-core fan base that takes the show quite seriously, participates in votes and lends the show its aura as a celebrity factory. By tormenting Abdul and, in their way, humiliating her stalker, Idol producers risk a furious backlash from those fans.