John Moore, a former Starbucks marketer, estimated that between 12% and 15% of customers are drip-coffee drinkers, and that each of the company's 7,100 locations serves about 800 people a day. Those figures would set a conservative giveaway estimate at 568,000. Starbucks' cost per cup is about 30¢, according to several executives familiar with the matter, which would put the cost of the giveaway at about $170,000.

Of course that estimate doesn't account for the fact that the number of customers surged well above normal — long lines are common in giveaway situations — but it also doesn't take into account how some drip coffee drinkers ordered food, covering the cost of the brew. And even if Starbucks spent two or three times the estimated amount, it still was out less than $1 million.

Politicians take notice: You can attract and stir up buzz among urban voters on the cheap, so long as caffeine is involved. There's a reason they're called "latte liberals."

The laws do vary from state to state, but for elections to federal office, our Congress is clear:

Codifying the ban on voter bribery, the United States Congress has prohibited the conspiracy to encourage illegal voting and stated that anyone who "pays or offers to pay or accepts payment either for registration to vote or for voting shall be fined not more than $10,000 or imprisoned not more than five years, or both."

And that's not just cash for votes that's outlawed there! "Not only is a direct payment for a vote prohibited, but any other 'valuable thing, to or for the use of another.'" Like delicious ice cream, which is very valuable.

(Note: we are not lawyers and honestly don't know what we're talking about.)

Wieden & Kennedy (also behind this Nike campaign, incidentally) spent four long years working for Starbucks, and, according to an excellent Ad Age story today, none of that time was particularly happy. But Schultz was pals with Wieden's founder, so it went on and on. The conflict can be read either as a case of a prima donna client, OR the case of prima donna ad agencies not feeling "appreciated" for their brilliance:

"Wieden always felt like it was a one-way relationship," said an executive familiar with the matter. "They felt like they presented a way to drive the brand forward, and Starbucks wasn't receptive."...

Other agencies that have worked with Starbucks have felt frustration with the marketer too. Rich Silverstein, co-founder of Omnicom Group's Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, which did two stints representing Starbucks, said much of the fault lies with the mercurial Mr. Schultz. "He does not appreciate advertising," he said. "Any agency that comes in has one foot out the door already."

"Wah wah" would be the knee-jerk reaction to this—but keep in mind that it must have been actually really bad in order for an agency to walk away from an account of this magnitude.

Unrest at Starbucks is hardly new. The company has been described as a difficult client for many years. It's infamous for greenlighting projects and later withdrawing approval. For instance, the chain made its TV-advertising debut during the last holiday season, but a broadcast campaign had been under way at least once before.

Oh well. Starbucks has never had a truly great ad campaign, anyhow. Can you name one? I can't. So it's probably no great loss on either side. Starbucks is in a bad place, with the economy how it is, and no ad agency will be able to stop that.

Anyhow, Starbucks needs to focus on its hand herpes problem first.

[Ad Age]

Each bean is fully dried before roasting, ensuring a more evenly cooked bean, which makes it less bitter.

That's right, you've finally lived to see the historic day when Folgers sells coffee grounds that are the product of a slightly upgraded pre-roast drying process! The future is now.

Also notable: Folgers' ad agency says this campaign is "the largest marketing investment in the history of Folgers.” So how big is it?

[It] is expected to be in the low six figures.

Starbucks spends that much every day on nutmeg, dude. America's not dead yet.

[NYT]

When Lieber first floated his idea in February, the responses were scalding, both on the original article at FiLife.com and at StarbucksGossip.com:

starbucks has created a monster... they deserve the entitled whiners that they get.

...It really makes me sick that anyone could ever expect better service than the person behind them should get.

These are some of the most outlandish and ridiculous ideas I have ever heard.

Ron, many, many people have told you why this won't work. I can't imagine why you still think your "idea" is something remotely workable.

That's the most arrogant article I've ever read on a blog.

Despite this feedback, Lieber somehow managed to get Starbucks to consider his "elite status" idea, so he wrote a Times column Saturday to gloat. This time around, Slate blogger Mickey Kaus is giving him flack, calling him a "creep" and predicting "things could get ugly" if Starbucks goes along with the plans.

On the other hand, Barack Obama may very well be president by January, and if that happens, you just know sipping lattes and acting elite is only going to get hotter.

[Times]

The twins' publicist said the whole (heh) thing is "ridiculous," and an anonymous friend of the twins says "it's also my worst nightmare — that and getting a huge diet fountain soda that is mistakenly regular Coke — but I can def(initely) taste the difference, so it's their own fault if they fell victim." Oh, def. When I'm guzzling grande lattes to get off the no-food shakes, I'm definitely piquing my taste buds for milk fattiness. Worst. Nightmare. Ever. [The Scoop]

Mr. Schultz stepped down as CEO in 2000 but dove into side projects such as signing musicians to Starbucks's record label and marketing Hollywood films, occasionally wandering into managers' meetings unannounced. As chairman, he stayed involved in the nitty-gritty, deciding matters as small as the color of holiday cups.

Mr. Schultz, 54 years old, has been a whirlwind since he took back the CEO reins this year after several years as just chairman. He flew to Italy to look for the next generation of Frappuccino-like drinks. He sent executives to a Seattle library to see how it creates community. He himself studied a cheese shop in Seattle.

But Mr. Schultz wasn't forgiving in January, when executives decided to stop offering organic milk without telling him. After learning of the decision in media reports, he called in the head of food and beverage and a few others and upbraided them for not clearing the change with him, says a person familiar with the meeting.

He suggested incorporating photos into the store from a coffee-buying trip to Bali.

Before the company launched its new Pike Place Roast in April, Mr. Schultz selected which redesigned version of the old logo to use. As the promotional campaign neared completion, he decided it needed more warmth and called for revisions. He rewrote the press-release headline.

[WSJ; pic via BW]

[via WSJ]

For customers' first experience with +Energy on Tuesday, Starbucks is promoting adding it to the Doubleshot on Ice drink, Baker said. The flavors complement each other, she said.

But the energy boost can be added to any hot or cold drink. Starbucks' research and development team, a group of culinary experts, food scientists and product designers, developed the boost.

"It's a well-thought out and complementary flavor," Baker said, when asked how the boost would taste mixed in with coffee.

NO CLUES HERE. Crystal meth?

[Seattle PI]

Christian Group Denounces Starbucks

Over New Logo of Naked Mermaid

(San Diego, CA) Starbucks has recently introduced a new version of their logo which features a topless mermaid with her legs spread, which has caused outrage from a nation wide Christian media watchdog organization. The Resistance, with has over 3000 members nationwide, is boycotting Starbucks across the country saying their new logo is inappropriate.

The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute, explains Mark Dice, founder of the group. Need I say more? It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks.

The all-brown logo is a replica of the one the chain used when it opened its first store in Pike Place in Seattle in 1971. The woman is actually a siren, not a mermaid, which in Greek mythology lures people to them with their beautiful songs, and then kills them, explains Dice.

The Resistance has made international news for rebuking various Hollywood celebrities for their ridiculous behavior, including Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, 50 Cent, Tom Cruise and others. They also demanded that Duke University change the name of their Blue Devils sports team to something not offensive to the Christian community.

# # #

[What about asking them for some lemons while you're at it, Resistance?]

I wrote a column about this glaring deficit in the "Starbucks Experience" in 2004. Back then, nobody seemed to care about any negative publicity that might be associated with not offering lemons. But now that Starbucks is slipping, maybe they will listen.

In the past year, Starbucks stock has slid from $32 a share to $16.34 on Monday. Last week, it reported a 28 percent fall in quarterly profit.

Chief executive Howard Schultz is blaming the economy.

Ha, right. Lewis eventually gets Starbucks' executive vice president for global strategy on the phone. But she fails to see the light:

"In my world of new products and operations . . . believe it or not, bringing fresh lemons into our stores is a challenge," she said. "Because it's fresh fruit. How do you cut them? It's a big ordeal."

How about those little packets of concentrated lemon juice? I asked. Maybe put them on the condiment counter beside the sugar and the chocolate powder?

"That's prime real estate over there," Gass explained. "And we haven't really seen a big groundswell of requests for this."

Starbucks: you just lost $2.10.

[via Starbucks Gossip]

Visitors are able to determine their personal flavor profiles with the help of a five-question quiz, and they can request free samples before committing to a purchase.

"We want to make people understand that if you tried one [blend] and you didn't like it, it wasn't the right blend for you," said Ms. Pinero. "That doesn't mean the whole brand isn't right for you."

My flavor profile is Breakfast Blend!

Plus there's barista art (!!!), like this:

The original suggestion that started this terrible ball rolling, and which has garnered almost 65,000 positive votes from insane people so far, said in part:

My idea is simple - Starbucks does a lot of things well - good coffee, interesting locations. One of its challenges though I believe is to create a sense of conversation and community within its locations.

One way of doing this would be to use the power of media and wireless new media in particular to foster a sense of conversation about the arts, current events, etc. In other words to stimulate Starbucks patrons that wish to interact as part of a 21st century "cafe society" such as they have in Europe traditionally - people gathering together to discuss the arts, world events and culture.

Now the company is exploring the possibility of teaming up with an online interview program with "fascinating guests," which would presumably broadcast out of Starbucks, as a first step. This somehow will get people talking in the stores, I guess about the fascinating guests in the online program they are all simultaneously watching on their laptops. On a positive note, perhaps people trying to talk to you while you huddle in a corner in Starbucks will, like an alcoholic picking up a crack cocaine habit, hasten the inevitable demise of this flawed institution.

Don't talk to me.

McD's has launched UnSnobbyCoffee.com, a site targeted to Seattle-area consumers who are fed up with all those snobby coffee chains. Do such consumers exist in Seattle? McD's is betting they do, and they're trying to lure them in with a coupon for a free, unsobby espresso. From a "McCafe." On the site, you can also put together an absolutely devilish madlibs-style "intervention" note for a friend, telling them to stop buying those "hoity-toity" drinks and head on down to McD's for a "bootylicious" espresso beverage! Outrageous!

At the end of the day, most Seattle residents would rather have a coupon for free crystal meth.

This is the finest coffee that we can make. ALL of this coffee is in the store within 2 weeks of its roasting date, and is fresh everyday, delivered from our new roasting plant, intended for your satisfaction. Its a mild coffee and is made fresh every 30 minutes, instead of every hour. Starbucks spent alot of money on this.
I just would like to share with you, that we are not just about baristas, and frapps. Its about the farmers as well. We help their children eat, and the farmers take great joy into working with us. I encourage all of you on Tuesday to go to your local store and try the new blend. And when you try it, think of the positives instead of just assuming the coffee sucks. To us, coffee is a goal, and a dream. If anything, work together.
We have gone astray with the values that we used to have, so hang in there as we transform that company back to what it was inteded. Quality service, and great tasting, fresh, coffee.

I would like to mention a pet peeve of mine, as long as we're on the subject.

Partners always seem to put Starbucks second, the rest of their lives first. This might not sound unusual or annoying, but it is. ANY time a meeting or event or shift is scheduled outside of some partner's ridiculously thin availability, they complain and say there's no way they can go.

They will ALWAYS skip a shift or meeting at Starbucks. They will NEVER skip class, a shift at their other job, or plans they have with friends.

So you know what? If somebody does repeatedly refuse to come to meetings or events because they "can't", I can completely understand letting them go if it goes on too long.

But I still don't believe this story.

Posted by: waltie | Apr 1, 2008 8:15:31 AM

Of the seven varieties of coffee, the reviewer was dissatisfied with five. Among the criticisms: "a long, unpleasantly bitter aftertaste," ""I hate it. That's really spoiled fruit, like really bad wine," and "The drip coffee tasted burned and acidic."

If none of the coffees made a favorable impression, we concluded, it seemed that the problem lay less with the Clover, or the quality of the beans, than with the roast.

All the beans we tried had the oily surface you get in a dark roast, commonly called French and Italian roast. Starbucks and other companies are often criticized by coffee connoisseurs for using over-roasted beans.

Overall, the Clover coffee tasted the same as a French press, just quicker. Wow.

In conclusion, stop burning the beans, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. You could have just read the comments around here to learn that.

"MyStarbucksIdea.com was clearly inspired by my site, which was created nearly four years ago to move barista/customer conversations to the web," Romenesko said in an e-mail Wednesday.

"My site will continue to thrive because it's an authentic reflection of how customers and employees feel about the company. MyStarbucksIdea.com, on the other hand, is clearly a corporate propaganda site," he said. [Seattle Times]

Motherfuckin right, Romenesko! He's like the Shepard Fairey of Starbucks bloggers. A serious fight could be brewing, and we, for one, are more than ready to see a pay-per-view boxing match between Jim Romenesko and Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz—possibly in a steel cage, or a vat of pudding.

Can there be a peaceful resolution? One commenter on Starbucks Gossip suggests a possible path to settlement:

and what is the big deal? Stop being morons - get your own coffee company then you can complain. Why be a bunch of white trash losers and complain about things that have nothing do with you - and start something just to hear yourselves speak. Get a life.

Posted by: Gooooogirl | Mar 20, 2008 7:32:19 PM

more coffee smells - From a customer in Feb. 08

Have all baristas make drinks the same at all stores.
- From a customer in Feb. 08

Live jazz ... poetry readings ... short film festival hosting ... BBQ fair
- From a customer in Feb. 08

Please get an online strabucks product store. Not just for coffee.
- An idea from our Annual Meeting of Shareholders on March 19, 2008 in Seattle

Dr. Joyce writes, in part, "While it is no doubt irritating to have your train of thought broken by constant interruptions, you must realize that you have chosen to work at a very public, rather than private, place. Unlike at your house, you really can't control who comes into a coffee shop — which usually is a hotspot of local gatherings." [Seattle Pi]

Yes, suck it up. Nick Douglas already warned us about laptoptards. But how sad and kind of pathetic is it that coffeeshops and even bars have been taken over by computers and their zombie-eyed owners? Where are people supposed to go to get laid these days? We all type in cafes sometimes, but it's not very sexy.

We consulted Internet-hater and cultural critic Lee Siegel's new book, Against the Machine: Being Human in the Age of the Electronic Mob. Perhaps he has an opinion? He does: "It's not community that the laptopization of the coffeeshop has dispelled. It's the concrete, undeniable, immutable fact of our being in the world."

If you said, "In order to train employees to provide better customer service and a more consistent quality of coffee beverages for me, the consumer, to enjoy," then congratulations. This is supposedly the correct answer.

If you said "Maybe to talk about the outbreak of hand herpes among the workers?" then you really need to start getting your news from media outlets of a higher caliber.

Pissed at the news, Starbucks threw a tantrum, dropping "Happy Planet" as a juice partner and signing on with fellow soulless corporate behemoth Pepsi instead [Vancouver Sun]. "We hate happy things," said Starbucks in my imagination.

"If he is correct and blogging is part of the base job of being a beat reporter, thats a sad commentary on beat reporters. They get 500 words in a story about a game or event, if readers are lucky. If there is excess time, I would imagine that time could be spent offering indepth analysis and access rather than throwing up hundred word commentary on a blog. If there isn't space in the paper, then in depth analysis that takes advantage of the minimal marginal cost of publishing feature stories, IMHO, would be a far better use of a beatwriters time and serve as a far stronger differentiation that would attract readers.

Instead , we get bloggers from mainstream media. Newspaper blogging is probably the worst marketing and branding move a newspaper can make. The barriers to entry for bloggers are non existent. There are no editorial standards. There are no accuracy standards. We bloggers can and do write whatever we damn well please. Historically newspapers have set some level of standards that they strived to adhere to. By taking on the branding, standard and posting habits of the blogosphere, newspapers have worked their way down to the least common demoninator of publishing in what appears to be an effort to troll for page views.

I attended the Stabucks meeting on Tuesday... drunk, and in full costume. The majority of the employees recognized the bullshit of the meeting and decided to make it more intereseting by coming in costume. I dressed up as Lake Michigan, another went as a mime, another as Jimi Hendrix, and some homosexual went as someting like: I-want-to-dress-like-a-girl-but"the buckies"(as well call it)-won't-allow-us-to-express-our-true-selves. We were so drunk we all passed out on the comfy chairs. All in all the meeting helped me catch up on my sleep.

Holla!

Real Starbucks employee here.

Yesterday's training session really was three hours of wasted time. A large chunk of our re-education included watching a video on how to steam milk. My loud, sarcastic comments during this video actually prompted one of the more sincere baristas to chastise me with "Sssh! I can't hear the milk." We also talked about "renewed commitment to environmental principles," which is fucking bullshit because most Starbucks outside of the NY metro area have a motherfucking DRIVE-THRU LANE.

I regret to inform you, however, that Starbucks is really not as evil as Gawker's commenters seem to think. Sure, our coffee is bitter and overpriced. Sure, I got a nasty case of herpes on my hand because management is too cheap to buy more than one pair of rubber dishwashing gloves for a staff of fifteen. But hey, I'm insured to the hilt, so the Valtrex to quell said herpes is deeply discounted.

Alright, maybe I'm not making such a great case for my employers right now. But why all the vitriol from commenters? Go hate on the schmucks at Cake Shop or Bowery Poetry Club or something. Their coffee's not that much better, their employees don't have health coverage, their bathrooms aren't any cleaner, and your chances of being snobbed off by some kid with an indier-than-thou haircut are exponentially greater.

I just got home from the training session and I have to say it was great. It put us all on the same page and let all of us know that the standards have been raised and we WILL be held accountable for it. Not everyone remembers it. This meeting wasn't to teach us how to make coffee and thats what a lot of people are missing. This was about making the BEST cup we can EVERYTIME, no exceptions. It was about how to give you customers what you pay for and more. Not to mention it laid down some new guidelines to make sure that if the customer does not get what THEY think is the perfect cup of coffee WE WILL MAKE IT UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED. We learned the vision of Howard and what he expects of us as a whole company so that not just some stores but ALL of them are doing the best everytime. I personally thought it was informative and helpful, especially to the new hires in our store who don't know yet what they need to do and reminded all of us how to provide our customers with a place they want to be. To be perfectly honest with you I think that there are a lot of baristas out there (and if you have read some of thier posts you know what I'm talking about) that we are not only in the coffee business but also the PEOPLE business.

Posted by: TurboSpaz | Feb 26, 2008 7:28:40 PM

just got back from my training a little bit ago and i have to say it went AWESOME! i can definitely say for the first time ever, my entire store is all on the same page.

it wasn't just about "learning how to press a button" or "learning how to make coffee." it was about customer care. making our customers our #1 priority. getting back to the whole "third place" mentality. quality over speed of service.

yes, we also were making sure that we are pulling the perfect shots and making sure that we calibrate and time our espresso shots correctly. and steaming our milk to Starbucks standards so that we can make your decaf quad venti soy stirred 180 degree 3-pump vanilla 6-pump white mocha with light whip PERFECTLY EVERY TIME.

we also learned about what steps the company would be taking to get back to the good old days of Starbucks and reaffirming our commitment to the company, each other, and most importantly, our customers.

i agree that not everyone throughout the company needed to be trained to do something if they already knew how to do it correctly. but even if you didn't need the training, it's still a good job on the part of Howard's to MAKE SURE every barista, shift, ASM, and SM in each store are on an even keel with training. I applaud him and my fellow workers for taking this time out and dedicating ourselves to our company and customers. those who think this was silly (customers and partners alike) just don't understand what Howard is trying to do with making this company not just the way it used to be but BETTER.

Posted by: baristagirl | Feb 26, 2008 8:03:19 PM

[Are there any REAL Starbucks employees who want to complain about this shit? Email us.]

Fear!

Deprivation!

And despair!

Just buy the minimum prepaid Starbucks Card, and you get two hours a day. Not just that day, but every day you have that card, until AT&T gets greedy again.

Hello? I'm sorry could you please make a little room? I am here enjoying my simple, tall beverage of peppermint tea and -

You! Ha. In Starbucks! How perfect. So you are here typing away, with your earphones in, playing Scrabulous, eh? You are such a Laptopian!

Ugh...look at this cover of Us Weekly on the table here. Britney Britney Britney. Doesn't the hideous mass culture of idiots realize they are killing her with their obsession?

Oh. It's your US Weekly. NO, cool cool.

Me? Ha ha, no no no. I'm not really here at Starbucks as a patron. I am here sort of on business? As you know, among my various crazy careers as a producer, sneaker-designer, branding executive and cranial sacral therapist, I am sort of a sought-after "Early Adaptor." It's dumb but companies actually hire me to go to their stores and kind of re-jigger the cool factor, because I guess my very appearance in or near the store increases sales or something. So, ever since Howard Schultz admitted that Starbucks has lost its soul, they called me to help, well, I guess bring it back with my good energy? Blah blah its dumb it's dumb.

Anyway. I haven't seen you in so long you look great, you do. You look so great. You know, I had dinner last week with a mutual acquaintance who said he saw you recently and that you looked 'really healthy, not as tired as usual' and he was right!

What have you been doing? Chewing a lot of Extra sugarless gum? I just know from my hard training as a triathlete, that in the end its all about portion control.

It's like you are as thin as...my new MacBook Air! Ha ha, yes yes. I have the new MacBook Air, the very one that was just presented at the MacWorld Expo in San Francisco. I was there, helping to produce Steve's masterful lecture-show. Another winner, I have to say.

You are going to love it in about 2 years, when it is on the bigger market. I love it because I can carry it anywhere, even when wearing my expertly cut vintage Fall 2003 Cloak topcoat. But I also like it because I can work on my novel, touch base with my reps at Sundance, work on my powerpoint proposal for the Whitney Biennial, yadda yadda. Truth be told it doesn't have as much memory as some of their other laptops, but I am the type of person who doesn't need extra things? Like I am not some zombie who needs to download the uncut version of the Cloverfield trailer and check the hits of my Youtube video? You know? It's just so sad how some people spend their time...

Speaking of, have you read Lee Siegels new book?

It's brilliant, brave. I mean, I know he called himself that when he was a sock puppet, but he really IS brilliant, brave.

Wait, do you even read anymore? Well I know you read Perez and Jezebel but...books?

Oh of course you do, sure sure sure. I mean, I am sure you will read at least the People Magazine review of Siegel's book. But in a nutshell, Lee questions the prevailing assumption that the internet bringing us together. And I have to agree, it's just so sad how the country has become a mass culture, a depressing hive of robots: obsessed with celebrity, artistically and politically ill-informed, staring at their laptops and blogging all day like idiots...in... a Star...um, bucks—-

Anyway, I hate to say it but I guess this really means that there is a correct way to create art and express yourself (Siegel, Starchitecture, anything printed by Knopf which I don't mean to be like so smug but it is printing my new novel), and an incorrect way (American Idol, everything else). Looks like our culture is dividing into high and low again, and it's cool to be pessimistic. Just in time for the major economic recession!

Well. I guess I better run. I have to make an appearance in front of the Gap. You have fun there on your old, ancient iBook from 2005! Maybe you will "blog" about seeing me! Ha! You are so cute!

Kiss kiss.

"The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities." —David Copperfield. He is identified as "Emmy Award-winning illusionist and founder of the charity Project Magic."

Eeeesh. Awkward!

It makes us wonder what else might go wrong with the Starbucks quote-dispensing plan. (Seriously, what if they'd had like a Dog The Bounty Hunter quote before America found out about how he's a racist or whatever he is???)

Here are some of their other nuggets of smart: