Old-fashioned STD tests are too slow and awkward for British youth, so the government's funding a computer chip you pee on and attach to your phone for an instant diagnosis. You don't even have to leave your favorite nightclub bathroom!

"Broadway Hottie of the Month" Marty Thomas is suing to have the identity of an anonymous Tweeter revealed, claiming the Tweeter defamed him. The Twitterer, "bwayanonymous", implied that Thomas had contracted crabs from some old Avenue Q queen. Oh, drama!

A professor has uncovered evidence that U.S. researchers intentionally infected Guatemalan sex workers, prisoners and mental patients with STDs in the 1940s. Now U.S. officials are stumbling over themselves to apologize. Not good enough, says Guatemala.

A new study in the U.K. shows that STDs in people over 45 have doubled in the last decade. We've seen this story a million times and they still won't use condoms? And they say teens won't learn their lessons!

As AIDS death and syphilis blindness aren't incentive enough for sexually active youngs to get STD tests, MTV and stalker enabler Foursquare have teamed up to create a GYT (Get Yourself Tested) badge for anyone who "checks-in" at the clinic.

Bears are cute! Well, people in bear costumes, at least—especially when they walk around with big smiles/hug people. But did you ever think about who's under the costume? Using that concept, here's the most effective HIV-awareness ad ever.

Swingers have higher rates of sexually transmitted infection than prostitutes by almost two-to-one, according to a new study conducted in Dutch clinics. Scientists say older swingers are particularly gross. Uh, vulnerable. Particularly vulnerable. [Reuters]

Like all great internet hijinx, it started on 4chan's anarchic /b/ message board. Late Sunday—shortly after Bieber was photographed with visible nipples and Kim Kardashian—4chan users pushed "Justin Bieber Syphilis" to the top of Google Trends.

Jersey Shore creator SallyAnn Salsano says she hands out herpes medication Valtrex "like M&Ms" to "everyone on the set." She also called the show a "herpes nest." Don't forget to brush your teeth after you vomit! [THR via NYP]

"Friends with benefits," more like, "friends with herpes." According to one not-at-all-fearmongering researcher, having sex with your friends can speed up the spread of STDs. We recommend the tried-and-true "blogger method" of STD prevention, "never have sex, ever." [CNN]

Wasn't there a porno about this? As long as children enjoy watching sexy avatars cry "That's sticky!" as they are repeatedly sprayed with semen, this video game will be a success. Screenshots inside.

The U.S. government has released the results of a new study that found dramatic increases in teen pregnancy, as well as instances of various sexually transmitted diseases, during the latter years of George W. Bush's presidency.

Since we're in the midst of a vague, threatening porn industry HIV scare, some things are changing. Like talent-producer relations. Do you trust your porn stars? Don't! [UPDATED]:

After a female porn actress tested positive for HIV this week, health officials in LA disclosed a bunch of other previously unreported HIV cases in porn, and now people are getting vaguely freaked out.

Ephemerist, Gawker's official sometimes favorite blogger, points out the awesome terror you can inflict with "You've got the AIDS" e-cards, which you send to someone when you're too afraid to own up to possibly giving them an STD. One reads "I got screwed while screwing, you might have too." It's illustrated with a…

You may be shocked to learn that the Gowanus Canal, the tiny little tributary that runs between Red Hook and Park Slope, is a polluted mess. Thankfully, do-gooding deep-canal divers are venturing into the creek to investigate just how polluted a mess it is. The answer: very polluted.

TV actor Esai Morales, whose fine, hunky work has graced such well-regarded series as NYPD Blue and the short-lived Vanished, was slapped with a lawsuit filed yesterday by former live-in girlfriend Elizabeth Mazzocchi. She claims that not only did her ex-lover batter and force himself on her, but he also knowingly…

In emulation of gay idols such as Smetana and Mussolini, the 'mos are bringing the 19th century back. Syphilis! Yes! There's been 260 cases in New York City in the first three months of this year, more than double the diagnoses in the same period last year. (260 still doesn't sound like much—but that's how it works…