Penelope Cruz, breasts on radiant display, covers the November issue of Esquire, the storied magazine for men who wear statement socks. She is, for the moment, the Sexiest Woman Alive. But the article about her, by two-time National Magazine Award-winning journalist and Deadspin Good Writering Award winner Chris…

Molly Schuyler, from Bellevue, Neb., is 5-foot-7 and weighs 135 pounds. This week, she ate two 72-ounce steak dinners in fewer than 15 minutes at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas. She enjoys eating.

A Kentucky man was arrested after having an all-night solo party inside a closed supermarket, where he heroically went through 57 cans of whipped cream. He was found inside the ceiling on Monday, and surveillance video revealed his feast of steak, shrimp and beer before the nitrous oxide called.

Ad Week compiled a list of America's most-shoplifted retail goods, and it reads like a bad date with a guy who says "bro" a lot: Axe body spray, filet mignon, Jameson, Gillette Mach 4 razors, and Polo Ralph Lauren shirts.

"Her bodice looks like the outside of the rib. Over the shoulder looks like it does come from a shoulder. There are no expensive cuts here, no real steaks. The best you've got is the flank steak on her head."

A 53 year-old Florida woman was arrested today for allegedly slapping her boyfriend with a raw steak because he asked for a bread roll. Taiwanese people who made that weird Tiger Woods reenactment: You have your new assignment. [AP]