Asked about digital piracy, King emailed Motoko Rich of the New York Times:

The question is, how much time and energy do I want to spend chasing these guys. And to what end? My sense is that most of them live in basements floored with carpeting remnants, living on Funions and discount beer.

Or reading novels by Cory Doctorow, the Boing Boing blogger with a little-known sideline in fiction. Doctorow doesn't mind if you copy his books — in fact, he gives them away. To guys living in basements floored with carpeting remnants, living on Funions and discount beer.

The world's bestselling novelist and resident EW culture critic today unveiled his 10 Best Movies of 2008, featuring typically abstract list-blurb boilerplate for top three The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire and WALL-E. But it's his lower five that remind us how rare — and refreshing — a non-ironic taste for sheer junk can be this time of year:

6. THE BANK JOB
Any doubts that Jason Statham is more than a muscle boy are set to rest in this rich (and often amusing) story of one of the biggest bank robberies in British history. High-tension cerebral thrills.

8. THE RUINS
The film version brings the novel's bleak theme to the screen intact. Terrible things happen by accident, and when they do, folks are usually on their own. Like all the best horror movies, the premise is simple: Five young people are trapped on top of a pyramid, surrounded by carnivorous plants. It could have been ludicrous. Instead, it's unrelenting.

10. DEATH RACE
This loose remake of Death Race 2000 features the redoubtable Statham as an unjustly convicted (in this sort of movie they always are) felon doing long time in a near-future prison. The canny female warden (brilliantly played by Joan Allen) sets up a series of pay-per-view ''death races'' that are huge ratings successes. Death Race is filled with laconic violence and blasting muscle cars, but just beneath the surface is a biting satire of reality TV.

No one can blame chain-novelist King for forgetting his own TV allegory The Running Man predated Race by about 25 years, but who cares? He also wants an Oscar nod for Sam Jackson in Lakeview Terrace! Such a maverick! And then, as if to invalidate the whole exercise, he ranks Funny Games at number five. Sucker move, King — everybody knows friends don't let friends sit through that crap.

• Stephen King: 10 Best Movies of 2008 [EW]

[via TheBigLead]

At least he was nice enough to chime in with a disturbing note from jail, excerpted after the jump.

Yoga, meditation, and the love of my family and God have sustained me as I grapple with blankets that have blood stains dried in tie-dyed patterns and battle nocturnal visits from entities that include, but are not limited to, rodents and insects (that I have not even seen in the jungles of India!). How much of it is my imagination? I'm not really sure. But the whole thing feels like a Stephen King novel turned into a movie directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

A fair trial is a wonderful concept but more of a satire in my case, based on how this has been manipulated and has been anything but fair. No one besides the parties involved (traditionally "two") knows IF intimacy/sex even happened or much less if it was consensual or not. Wouldn't one call 911? Get a rape kit or at least STD testing? Would anyone continue to follow, travel, live with someone who allegedly assaulted them?

Oh, give it up, AJ — Manoj would never direct a Stephen King prison adaptation. That's Frank Darabont territory all the way.

• Designer Sex [LAM]

• An Accused Serial Rapist Speaks, Ahead of Trial [WaxWord]

I don't want him to go over the Reichenbach Falls.

Ian Spiegelman: Try missionary once in awhile; you might be surprised.

Chuck Klosterman: Comparing Dee Dee Ramone to some punk from Ratt? You should be gnawed by rats, asshole.

Deborah Schoeneman: Up here in Bangor, gossip tends to revolve around lobstering and axe-murdering. Pick either.

Kate White: If it's right there in the title, someone's thighs better actually catch on fire by chapter three.

James Frey: Smoke crack.

J.T. Leroy: Exist.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Ah, go ahead and toss that fucker over Reichenbach Falls.

Don't kill Harry Potter, authors urge Rowling [Reuters]

[Photo: Getty Images]