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New York, 7:50 AM
Wed Nov 25
49 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #stephenking more →

    If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You

    Stephen King Makes Urgent Year-End Appeal For 'Funny Games,' Jason Statham

    Stephen King's Sports Center Commercial

    Accused Rapist Pitches Jail Ordeal as Stephen King-Meets-M. Night Shyamalan

    Yikes!

    Further Literary Revisions Suggested by Stephen King

    Gossip roundup

    Haypenny #10/McSweeney's #10

    Gossip roundup
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    It's very helpful for a writer who is past his Sell By date, like that Ellison, to pretend his work is worth stealing. He can think down in his remnant carpeted basement, man, ten million readers, unfortunately all thieves.


    A certain upscale ivy has never been pressured to drop its AA policy. It sees thirty thousand applicants, accepts ten, tells the rest they were only just aced out by a gay Puerto Rican with a low SAT due to developmental disabilities. Ah cudda been a contender, they muse forevermore in a JC somewhere.

     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    Honestly? I think he was referring to the fact that the people he'd be trying to catch are more than likely without funds (read: deep pockets), not to mention the fact that he's probably making fun of himself by saying that's the kind of person who reads his schlock.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of sassenach sassenach
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    I wouldn't expect such classist comments from Steve.
     Reply
    sassenach was starred sassenach was unstarred
    Image of Steverino Begins Steverino Begins
    05/12/09

    @sassenach: See my note above. And I just hobbled my right foot in penance to Funyun-lovers.
     Reply
    Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred
    Image of Steverino Begins Steverino Begins
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    You'd think the author of Misery would know better than to piss off his fans, especially basement-dwelling rednecks.
     Reply
    Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    05/12/09

    @Steverino Begins: Caan we believe you said that? Yes we Caan.
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of Steverino Begins Steverino Begins
    05/12/09

    @Aaron Altman: Sorry, my wording was deBates-able.


    I just think redneck is the image he was going for. Obviously eating funyuns and having poor basement carpeting doesn't make one a redneck--but it does seem to be the traits of King's classic redneck schlub characters (in his movies at least).


    God, I've seen Misery so many times, you'd think I could make a better Annie Wilkes joke.

     Reply
    Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    To pirate a quote from Stephen King and direct it now to Stephen King, "Shut ya head, Trout."
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of bayktdin bayktdin
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    My brother let me read his copy of Cujo when I was in Jr. High, was that piracy?
     Reply
    bayktdin was starred bayktdin was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    05/12/09

    @bayktdin: Stephen King just called and wanted me to tell you that he thinks you're a moron who lives in refrigerator box and exists on orange circus peanuts.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    05/12/09

    @Mama Penguino: hey, dipshit, you forgot your indefinite article!
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of bayktdin bayktdin
    05/12/09

    @Mama Penguino: Are you still pouting about the time I called you out for using a mysognyistic term?


    I like it when you make the homeless feel like more shit by telling other people they are homeless as a way to belittle them.

     Reply
    bayktdin was starred bayktdin was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    05/12/09

    @bayktdin: I was being playful! I don't mind being called out, just so I'm being called.


    @Bob_Mackey: At the library, maybe . . . duh!

     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    05/12/09

    @bayktdin: I think it depends on the number of brothers in the family.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    05/12/09

    @Mama Penguino: Oh, yeah, well I know Penguino, and you're not half the woman he is!
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    05/12/09

    @Tremonius: *sob*
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Mutley Mutley
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    Perhaps he should write a novel about a pirated story that, once downloaded, causes the readers eyeballs to be slowly eaten inside out. And then the victim is attacked by possessed Funyuns.
     Reply
    Mutley was starred Mutley was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    05/12/09

    @Mutley: Please leave Dostoevsky's minor works out of this.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of not2techy not2techy
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    Wait a minute--wasn't Stephen King living in a basement floored with carpeting remnants, living on Funyons and discount beer prior to the sale of Carrie?
     Reply
    not2techy was starred not2techy was unstarred
    Image of wry_bred wry_bred
    05/12/09

    @not2techy: He lived in a trailer with his wife! So he had to share his beer and funyons.
     Reply
    wry_bred was starred wry_bred was unstarred
    Image of Cheap Shot Cheap Shot
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    Thus rendering the Kindle a money stealing device like a computer that downloads illegal music.
     Reply
    Cheap Shot was starred Cheap Shot was unstarred
    Image of OlavRokne OlavRokne
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    I really enjoy Stephen King as a pundit, less so as a novelist.
     Reply
    OlavRokne was starred OlavRokne was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    05/12/09

    @OlavRokne: I read a story of his once. It was given away free on the Internets. I thought it a nice gesture, and he's a good storyteller, but I decided he's no Stephen King.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    Dear Stephen King:


    It's Funyuns with a Y, you big doofus.


    Love,


    "These guys"


    PS mmmm I love my damp carpeting remnants

     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    05/12/09

    @Aaron Altman: This correction brought to you by Paul's Bunion.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    05/12/09

    @scroll_lock: With music by Damon Runyon.
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of El Matardillo El Matardillo
    05/12/09

    In reply to If You Steal His Books, Stephen King Will Mock You
    Little know fun fact: you can ferment Funions into a delicious microbrew!
     Reply
    El Matardillo was starred El Matardillo was unstarred
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