Arizona, which we are still not convinced isn't a hoax, is the home of not one but two of our nation's finest lawmen: Squat fascist Sheriff Joe Arpaio and sex slaver Steven Seagal, who is starring in a reality TV show where he... is a policeman, sort of. Well! Now they are both getting sued for killing a puppy.
Steven Seagal: Lawman is back! And it's still basically Cops with a celebrity guest. Fresh off handing a homeless man $20, Seagal philosophized about his job and warrior mentality. Then, he sliced some bamboo with a sword! Video inside.
One of the biggest problems in Jefferson Parish is drinking and driving. So one would think the main responsibility of the police department would be to stop those DUIs. Not if there are rats in the canal that need shootin'!
On Steven Seagal: Lawman, Steven chases after a perp, loses him, thinks he finds him, barges into the wrong house, and recklessly uses his gun only to lose him again. Be glad you don't live in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana.
As Steven Seagal: Lawman nears its season finale, it's pretty apparent Seagal will not be placed in any dangerous situations. But that doesn't mean he can't speak to the camera like he's the baddest man on the force.
You can say Steven Seagal is a bad cop. You can say he's fat. You can even say he's boring. But DO NOT say he isn't a totally badass martial artist. Because he SO is.
Late December means two things—it's Christmas and television is BORING. Steven Seagal: Lawman—one of the only new episodes on TV last night—had a chance to capture the attention of a nation wrought with ennui—It didn't.
While watching tonight's episode of The Soup, we had a case of serious déjà vu (more on that after the jump). Luckily for us, though, McHale and Co.'s hilarious clip from the SYTYCD finale brought us back to reality.
On Steven Seagal: Lawman, we see that Steve isn't just a Zen Kung-Fu Police Master, he also happens to be an excellent marksman. But is he an excellent teacher? Ehhh, not so much.
Steven Seagal: Lawman combines a really really boring episode of Cops with a washed up, overweight, out of work actor. Even with his fat suit on, he's bound to get recognized by the people he arrests. And it is awkwaaaard.
