World’s Richest Who Lost Money Due to Brexit Still Billionaires
Having a billion dollars seems pretty good, but losing billions of dollars and still having billions of dollars left over is still preferable.
Your Guide to Our New Financial Panic
On Friday, the Dow Jones Industrial average fell more than 500 points, capping off the worst stock market week in years. Panic selling has taken hold of nearly every market in the world. As we digest today’s even worse massacre (?), consider: how much should you panic?
Stock markets in America and around the world are cratering again today, just like yesterday. Chinese slowdown, oil glut, commodities rout. Time to panic? Sure, maybe.
Thanks to fear of the Fed's upcoming actions and some trouble in China's credit markets, the stock market is down more than 350 points today, and the value of gold is plunging. Please put your fearful predictions and paranoid speculation in the comment section below.
Looks like it's gonna be a fun day in the stock market today.
Ordinary Housecat Beats Professional Wealth Managers in Year-Long Stock-Picking Challenge
Britain's The Observer has just concluded a year-long investment challenge which sought to determine if decades of experience gave seasoned stock market professionals any stock-picking advantage over a common household cat.
Rogue Printer Dooms Google
Google is one of the largest and most powerful corporations in the world, but on Thursday the tech giant was brought to its knees by a printer malfunction. Well, that and the fact that the company's net income in this year's third quarter fell 20 percent to $2.18 billion (... and cue the violins). It was an all-around …
Decent Jobs Report Temporarily Staves off Apocalypse
It's the first Friday in August! This means two things: The nice, brisk days of autumn aren't too far away, and the latest jobs report has come out. Employers added 117,000 jobs in July and brought the unemployment rate down one tenth of a percentage point to 9.1%. This is kind of good?
Stock Market Celebrates Debt Deal by Collapsing
Now that the debt ceiling's been raised and all uncertainty removed from the markets, the Dow Jones will respond by... dropping 265 points on the day. The reason is that the economy is terrible.
Members of Congress Do 'Abnormally' Well in Stock Market
Now here's something you couldn't have imagined: Members of Congress tend to outperform the stock market with their personal investments! And you all thought they were so stupid.
Stock Market Closes at Highest Since 2008
The U.S. stock market closed at its highest levels in two years! You still don't have a job, though.
You Can Now Buy Into an Islamic Stock Index
Looking for a way to experience the pleasures of buying and selling stocks, while also remaining compliant with Islamic law? Look no further than the Bombay Stock Exchange, which just opened an index composed solely of Shariah-compliant stocks.
Gawker Media Shuts Down the New York Stock Exchange
If you were watching CNBC around 4:00 this afternoon, you would have seen today's "Closing Bell" ceremony at the NYSE, featuring Gawker Media's own Scott Kidder and Phil Vuong! If you missed it, though, don't fret—there's video inside.
General Motors Readies Initial Public Offering
Suddenly profitable GM has filed for an initial public offering of $10 to $20 billion.
Man Who Invented Concept of "Black Swan" Creates "Black Swan"
Last week's stock market insanity? Yeah, it was The Black Swan guy's fault.
Was the Stock Market Sabotaged?
Very likely not! But President Obama won't rule out sabotage as the cause of yesterday's stock market plunge. Please let it be bored Chinese high school hackers and not systemic instability produced by out-of-control computer trading! [The Hill, photo via]
Yesterday's Wall Street Chaos Captured in Audio
Today marks the second day of Wall Street jitters, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropping 350 points this morning before rebounding somewhat this afternoon. It doesn't compare to the freakout that unfolded yesterday, though.
Let's Come Up With A Better Metaphor For Today's Wall Street Crisis
As you are probably aware, the stock market today fell faster than a newborn foal on roller-skates, then rebounded like Shaq on stilts. No, that's not right. Can we think of a better metaphor for what happened today than "roller-coaster?"
The Market Panics and So Does CNBC
Possibly caused by a clerical error at Citigroup, the market took a precipitous plunge this afternoon. Our trusty friends at CNBC were kinda freaked out about it.
Was Today's Stock Market Plunge Caused By a Typo?
Today was a rollercoaster of a day on Wall St. as a massive sell-off sent the Dow plummeting 1,000 points before rebounding a bit. What caused the sudden dip? It might have been one trader's tiny, but huge, typo.
