After years of searching for the next financial bubble that will pop and leave little but empty wallets, broken dreams, and suicidal investors in its wake, it appears we have actually found it!
The financial markets have been on the rise for the past six years. That can only mean that doom is around the corner. What financial bubble is waiting to pop, and destroy us? Today: biotech stocks.
What do you think the most successful industry in America has been in the past 100 years? A hint: it's home to the most successful company of the past 50 years.
As a top money manager says "The good times are over," stocks fell today for the fifth day in a row, their longest losing streak in more than a year. Also, astronomers observed the largest-ever x-ray flare from the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy. Things are happening.
If you pay an individual or a big company to invest your money for you, you should be aware of the fact that there is an extremely convincing case that you are foolishly throwing your money into the garbage can.
Last week saw the stock market take its worst plunge in years, prompting fears that—after several years of uninterrupted good times—the economy may be ready to falter once again. Why the new fear on Wall Street? Could the reason be... imaginary bullshit?
Continuing its fun new trend, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has plunged more than 100 points already this morning. Fear is back! Heyyyy, buddy!
Stocks PLUNGED today before RALLYING into merely SEMI-AWFUL losing territory at the close. This sort of market noise serves little purpose except to stress out Wall Street traders, which is what makes it worth laughing about.
Right now, the issue of corporate tax inversions—where a US company reincorporates abroad to dodge US taxes—is one of the most controversial tax policy questions in Washington. Some Congressmen are very bia$ed on the issue!
Stock market pros say the "dumb money" is flooding into the stock market now, even as professional investors say the big gains are mostly over. Yeah... you'll show them who's dumb. Buy high, sell higher!
The U.S. stock market is too expensive right now by virtually every measure. It is not the greatest time to buy, but then again, you should not sell, either. Just chill.
GrubHub CEO Matthew Maloney, trailed by costume characters, walks the New York Stock Exchange trading floor before his company's IPO on Friday. Investors sent shares up 51 percent to $39.20 in early trading in its stock market debut. Image via Richard Drew/AP.
[Kermit the Frog rings the the New York Stock Exchange opening bell on Monday. Stocks are now sharply higher in early trading. Image via Richard Drew/AP.]
High frequency trading, in which superfast computer algorithims buy and sell stocks in fractions of a second, is little more than a tax on financial markets that goes directly into private pockets. There's more news today about how ridiculous the practice has become.
Stocks were down 175 points yesterday, and they're already down 150 more today, because people are worried about the financial situation of emerging markets. It's expected "to get worse before it starts getting better." Not enough to burst any bubbles yet, but hey, give it some time.
Well, this is terrifying.
The best-performing stocks of 2013: Tesla, Netflix, Best Buy, and Twitter. Hurry up and invest in these high fliers as they fly higher and higher and higher, and never lower!
At least once per year, it is healthy for all of us to take a moment and reflect upon the fact that corporate executives are quite plainly using their insider status to make unfair profits on their company's stock, while you, the average unconnected jerk, remain poor. Today is that day.
In the financial world, as in the world of teen fashion, what is popular today will inevitably be reviled tomorrow. With that in mind: you simply must buy some stocks. They're absolutely divine, I hear!
"Bubble" is just "babble"—plus u. Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! High! High! High! High!
