Neel notes that the Olympian was accompanied by an entourage of striped-shirted schmucks, one of whose sole duties appeared to be pointing a flashlight at anyone attempting to photograph the swimmer during his efforts to obtain a gold medal in ass-grabbing. ("It was unreal," says Neel. "Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over... I've never seen such an aggressive grip.")

[More at Radar]

The NY Press apparently procured and read Seymour's actual book—the only excerpt we can find online talks exclusively about him walking around with his dick out in a strip club. But the Press has the Drudge-y highlights:

According to Seymour: "Matthew and I were primarily obsessed with two things: music and The The Young and the Restless. That's all we talked about as we walked around D.C. late at night or drove out to the Maryland suburbs where his mother worked behind the counter at 7-Eleven."...

After Seymour gets thrown out of his NYC apartment, he loses touch with Matthew until he receives a letter in the mail. It deserves to be excerpted in full from Seymour's chapter:

"'If this letter gets to you somewhere in this burning world,' he opened, 'I have a feeling you can still relate.' For five densely marked pages, Matthew revisited all of our favorite topics of conversation, telling me how he was awaiting a new Frankie Knuckles remix of Chaka Khan's 'Ain't Nobody,' going through a love/hate relationship with Whitney Houston's 'One Moment in Time,' and incensed over the direction of The Young and the Restless.

('That show suffered so much during the writers' strike—will it ever rebound?') Later, he stated: 'Writing this letter to you makes me happy. Whatever happened to us? I miss talking to you, but somehow I know what you're thinking or want to convince myself that I know.'

At the end of the letter, he wrote: '213 area code soon. Call me.'"

Seymour never heard anything further from Matthew, until, years later, when he was flipping through Vanity Fair and happened upon a photo of his long-forgotten friend. He'd transformed himself into Internet pundit Matt Drudge.

Nilla.

[NY Press]

The general reaction to the boxer's initial denials were roughly the same as the reaction to R. Kelly's legal team's theory that it wasn't really him in the sex video: quiet scoffing. In reality, experts concluded after much examination that they were faked by a stripper trying to blackmail him. So, on behalf of the media, we (as ridiculous as that sounds) have to apologize to him. Sorry!

And while many people have laughed off the incident as free publicity for Oscar, the truth is that things like this never really go away. Many more people will have heard about the initial photo scandal than will hear about its debunking. It will now make its way to Snopes.com, along with all the other persistent urban legends that get passed down despite the fact that they're false. Never forget:

All Nude Private Club!

To whom it may concern:

I would like to proudly announce the opening of my first adult club, COUSIN VINNY'S LITTLE SECRET! This private club located at [REDACTED] in the Bronx, NY is the first of it's kind. During the day it is an extraordinary "Subway style submarine sandwiche shop" offing the highest quality meats along with the freshly baked bread that you would expect from the offspring of a longtime Subway Restaurant. In fact this was a Subway franchise up until May 2008 when we were disenfranchised due to politics and differences of opinion as far as marketing is concerned.

At 10 PM Wednesday through Saturday this seemingly harmless sub shop becomes the wildly, exotic and explicit, all nude private club "COUSIN VINNY'S LITTLE SECRET". The club is located in the rear, private area of the restaurant and is strictly PRIVATE! You must pay a one time fee of $20 to become a member. Some of the advantages of membership are the following: unlimited access to the semi private lap dance rooms, 6 hours of non stop, hardcore, live action from some o the most beautiful young ladies who have ever chosen to take their clothes off in public, a bring your own booze policy that will save you a heck of a lot of money in comparison to the average club, unlimited fountain soda for your mixers, a footlong sandwiche of your choice, and a discrete and totally safe atmosphere to indulge in your carnal fantasies. Our ladies are eager to please and not to mention the fact that Cousin Vinny Agnello has been a leader in the erotic arts for over 15 years. He has been called, "the creme de la creme" of the adult industry by famous celebrity, Tony Kornheiser from Monday Night Football fame! Cousin Vinny Agnello was ever referred to as a "celebrity" by Diggs.com, a very famous website. Cousin Vinny for years has been in the eye of the storm of controversy — taking on such famous law enforcement officials as Jeanine Pirro, who tried in vain to take Cousin Vinny down. Cousin Vinny Agnello is controversial, entertaining, and fun. He does not take the media attention too seriously but is the first to tell the best and most interesting life stories. Cousin Vinny is most of all known for his high QUALITY FEMALES! Why don't you stop by and meet Cousin Vinny and find out why this former soap opera actor and male stripper has such notoriety. Come to our grand opening! Sit in a prive 24 seat theatre and watch the ladies bathe together in the see through shower, or watch them indulge in their lesbian fantasies! It's all there and more at COUSIN VINNY'S LITTLE SECRET PRIVATE CLUB AT [REDACTED]. MEMBERSHIP HAS IT'S PRIVILEDGES!

PS: the first 24 gentlemen to arrive on show nights will be admitted on a first come first serve basis. Admission is $50. We advise all patrons to please call for reservations in advance. Cannot remember our phone number? Simply call information for the number to the Subway Restaurant on East Tremont Avenue in the Bronx! Hope to see you soon!

Sincerely,

Your friend with the ladies,
Cousin Vinny Angello

Commencing during the approximately twelve month period preceding January 24, 2007, corrupt New York City undercover police officers assigned to the Manhattan South Vice Enforcement Division began frequenting Scores West and abusing their authority: i) did not pay otherwise required admission fees; ii) consumed but did not pay for alcoholic beverages; and iii) consumed but did not pay for food.

Isa Chandra Moskowitz, a cookbook author, is among those who believe such images twist the vegan message. "As a feminist, I’m not keen on the idea of using women’s bodies to sell veganism, and I’m not into the idea of using veganism to sell women’s bodies," she said...

The issue of sexism in vegan circles is "extremely polarizing," said Bob Torres, an author of "Vegan Freak," a guide to living a vegan lifestyle, which generally means avoiding the use of animals for food, clothing or other purposes. Mr. Torres, like many vegans, disavows the “essential idea at the heart of some animal rights activism that any means justifies the ends," he said.

Not all feminists return the vegans' love in kind. Women's rights hero Susan B. Anthony, for example, loved a good porterhouse steak, which somehow seems very appropriate.

Below, a song by the Vegan Vixens, which sounds like it will advance the pro-animal cause about as much as the failed strip club:

Times: The Carrot Some Vegans Deplore

[Photos via New York Post]

Daisy Rojas' dogs, Charles and Darwin (!), were snatched outside an Upper East Side restaurant and returned two days later by a mysterious man known as "Hector." Hector claimed to have bought the puppies from a homeless man for $200, which he would like back from Rojas. Rojas is declining to pay Hector anything, though she has offered him "a free lap dance."

What a heartwarming Christmas tale! We see Eva Mendes as Daisy, Philip Seymour Hoffman as Hector, and CGI-enhanced Mike Myers and Chris Rock as the dogs.

Bonus: here is a picture of Richard Johnson enjoying the work of a stripper who may or may not be Ms. Rojas.

Dogs back in owner's arms two days after vanishing [NYDN]

"You, like, a reporter, huh?" asked the owner. "You met Joey*, the big guy sittin' at the bar? Yeah, he works for the Daily News. In here all da time."

Alcoholic regulars line the bar in front of the stage. A lone Hasid in a backwards baseball cap sat in the back. He said his name is Joe and he's a student of the Torah.

"Are you married? My wife would kill me if she knew I was here," he said. "She's very conservative!" He sounded afraid.

In the ladies' restroom, which is single-occupancy, a dancer pounded on the door. "Let me in, I'm insane!" she said. "I'll slit my wrists, I'm known for it!"

Her stage name is the Spanish word for "crazy" and she asked if she could ask a question. "I don't want to offend you," she said. "I just want to know if you sniff." She pulled a baggie of cocaine out of her purse and scooped up a bump with the long, square nail on her pinkie.

Actually, I don't! She nodded sympathetically, removing a giant pill bottle from her purse. "I know what you mean," she said, rattling the bottle. "Are you on Prozac? Cause I can get you some?"

"I just got outta the psych ward," she said. "And since I'm insane? They can't lock me up if I do anything bad again. They'll just send me to Bellevue. Did I tell you what I did? I stabbed this girl. I stabbed her in the stomach and cut her uterus out. I carved it out with a knife."

She paused. "It's because she threw a plate of spaghetti at me, and the plate, it had tomato sauce on it and shit," she said.

*Not his real name!

Obviously, the strippers know to be on their best behavior when dealing with such special children. "I'm not going to be inappropriate or exposed," one (totally hot) dancer said. And the parents understand too! Everyone is understanding!

"As long as they keep their clothes on I don't see the problem," said Aileen Reyes, 36, of Park Slope, mother of Hunter, 10, and Taylor, 6. "As long as they dress as witches - not sexy witches - my 10-year-old can go."

The Scores dancers are thrilled for the opportunity to give back to the community, especially after their attempts at raising money for 9/11 Orphans and Police Widows were met with refusals. After widows and orphans, Park Slope children are obviously some of the most deserving subjects for charity in the city.

Scores strippers help pass out candy at Halloween carnival [NYDN]

The Stripper's Secret [Psychology Today]

"The choice we were faced with was some covering or no covering," said Keith Miller, the chief deputy attorney general. "We decided it was better to have these coverings than nothing at all."