Is science real? Maybe! But also maybe not???
Behavioral Science and Poverty
The fastest way to fight poverty is to redirect money from higher-income to lower-income people. In the meantime, behavioral scientists have some tips on how the present system can do a better job of helping the poor.
People Are Tweeting and Driving in This Sad, Sad World
A new survey released on Tuesday morning reveals details of what we had all feared: People who drive cars are not just texting their friends while behind the wheel, they’re also using their time cruising to tweet, update Facebook, and shoot videos. Why bother living when you could be dead instead?
Study: Breast Milk Bought on the Internet Might Not Be Legit
In a sad and shocking indication of our society's decline, a new research paper claims that something as simple as human breast milk purchased on the internet (of all places!) might not always be as advertised.
Teens Sometimes Change Clothes While Driving, Study Says
Ah, the carefree days of teenagehood. Cruising around with your friends in mom's beatup minivan and not giving a hoot about anything, even keeping your eyes on the road. A new study reports that twenty-seven percent of teenagers have admitted to changing clothes, contact lenses, and doing homework while driving.…
Just Drink Water
A new study of America's woefully inadequate parents finds that many of you have mistaken beliefs about nutrition that will—in all likelihood—one day kill your kids. Allow us to help you with a useful public health guideline.
Your Penis Is Fine
Since the only thing that men ever think about is how big their dicks are, we finally have some good news for you, men. Finally!! A new comprehensive study among 15,000 men discovered that the average length of an erect penis was a mostly meager 5.16 inches. Bust out some lube and measuring tape, why don't you? Tell…
Americans Only Stressed About Money and Kids
Americans are less stressed than they were a few years ago. But the Americans you'd expect to be stressed are really fucking stressed. I guess we all just need to get that $$$.
Stop Taking Your Screens to Bed, You Humanoid Robots
We've all heard the warnings: if you take your phones, iPads, phablets, Lite-Brites, and laptops into the dormoir, you will not have restless sleep. Most doctors suggest turning that shit off and throwing it out a window before laying our heads down to rest, but do we listen? Fuck no, we've got tweets to write, doc!
Doctors Find Wiggly Tapeworm in Headache Sufferer's Brain
While treating a 50-year-old patient suffering from headaches, British doctors say they found a years-old tapeworm living in the man's brain. Additionally, added everyone, UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
In a new study, "bankers were about as honest as anyone else — until they were reminded that they were bankers."
Study: White People Think Black People Are More Likely to Be Magic
Ever wonder why some white people are so mortally afraid of black bodies? One possible, research-supported answer: they think black people are legit warlocks.

