EXT. FIRE ISLAND PINES HARBOR
The Saturday noon ferry has arrived to the harbor and streaming onto the dock are new arrivals. DAYTRIPPERS arrive with umbrellas, coolers, and backpacks, often with glimpses of swimwear visible under low-waisted cargo shorts. RESIDENTS and HOUSEGUESTS bring assorted luggage and bags from Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. Standing in the harbor is an assortment of GAYS, a few of whom wait to board, but most of whom await new arrivals.

LILLYGAY stands wearing a white oversized vee-neck teashirt and Lilly Pulitzer "Crabby Pants" swim trunks. With him is ETROGAY wearing a pink tank top and Etro striped trunks. Both point and wave to HOUSEGUEST who approaches them, drops a Barneys shopping bag filled with food and a canvas Jack Spade coal bag, and joins in a group hug.

BIOLOGICALWOMAN approaches the three and points to the ferry.

OTHERGUEST passes by with OTHERRESIDENT.

As the three walk away from the harbor, BIOLOGICALWOMAN is running toward the now departing boat, an iced coffee sweating in her hand.

QUADRANGLE CAPITAL PARTNERS AND KENT BROWNRIDGE COMPLETE ACQUISITION OF DENNIS PUBLISHING

Company Is Renamed Alpha Media Group

Stuff Magazine To Become A Regular Section In Maxim Magazine
____________________________________

New York, NY, August 15, 2007 - Quadrangle Capital Partners II LP, a private equity fund focused on the media and communications industries, today announced the completion of its acquisition of Dennis Publishing, Inc. Longtime media executive, Kent Brownridge, will serve as the Chief Executive Officer of the newly renamed company, Alpha Media Group Inc.

"Alpha Media Group's assets are among the best in the publishing industry," said Brownridge. "The magazines and websites are uniquely positioned among the young male demographic and are extremely attractive platforms for advertisers. I am particularly pleased to be partnering with Quadrangle, whose experience and expertise in the media industry is unmatched."

Alpha Media Group also announced today that Stuff magazine, launched in 1998, will cease publication after the October issue—it will then appear as a regular section in Maxim magazine.

"Stuff magazine is a clear and purposeful brand that will continue to reach its audience through Maxim," said Brownridge.

Stuffmagazine.com will not be affected; it will continue to be a digital destination.

About Alpha Media Group Inc.
Alpha Media Group Inc. is a multimedia company that includes Maxim and Blender magazines and their websites Maxim.com and Blender.com. Maxim magazine is the most successful modern men's lifestyle magazine in America reaching more than 12.4 million readers each month. Blender is a general interest music magazine that reaches nearly 2 million readers monthly. Maxim.com and Blender.com reach an average 5.2 million unique visitors monthly. Additionally, Maxim magazine is published in 43 countries; Maxim Radio is broadcast on Sirius Satellite Radio on channel 108.

About Quadrangle Group LLC
Quadrangle Group LLC is a private investment firm with over $6 billion in assets under management. Quadrangle invests in media and communications companies through separate private and public investment strategies and in debt securities across all industries through a debt investment program. Quadrangle Capital Partners represent its private equity funds that specialize in the media and communications industries. All investment strategies seek to maximize value by leveraging the investment teams' extensive experience, knowledge and industry relationships. For more information, please visit http://www.quadranglegroup.com.

Media Bowling reaches its triumphant climax this week, with big victories over Stuff, V Magazine, and a random defeat by something called "Freelance." They seemed sad. This video contains at least two disturbing things: a makeout sesh and a declaration of paternity. Don't worry, kids, that man isn't actually your daddy. Probably.

Earlier: Bowling

When I interned at Stuff, it was common practice for interns to write a large portion of the letters to the editor. We rarely had enough letters from people who weren't fucking insane prison inmates to fill the space, so somebody had to do it. This was the case at another mag I worked at, as well (not going to name names on that one though). I always assumed fake letters to the editor were commonplace. And apparently I was right.

I spent a couple of years editing the letters column of a major magazine, and let me tell you...it wasn't easy filling the space with pity and cogent missives. Let's face it: people are idiots.

I was in San Francisco in the summer of 2003, minding my own business. Only I hadn't told my old flame I was on break from from New York, because I wanted to avoid falling into the habit of sleeping with him again. He was on a plane returning to SF from Italy when he thumbed through the current issue of Blender, where my friend was an editor at the time. When his plane landed, he emailed me, "why does Blender think you are in San Francisco?" I made a panicked call to my friend at Blender. She said, oh, I had to make up a bunch of letters to the editor, and I signed your name + San Francisco to one of them." I ran out to get a copy of Blender. The question in my ersatz letter to the editor was something like "is there any truth to the rumors about an orgy with Margaret Trudeau and the Rolling Stones?" To dodge admitting that I was in fact in San Francisco, I replied to old flame's query with "I think the real question is, why does Blender think I don't know the nitty gritty about all the Stones' purported orgies? And the answer is: makes all that shit up." He totally accepted that answer, and didn't find out I was in SF for several more weeks. Most, if not all, of the letters to the editor at Blender were fake the whole time my friend was an editor, but often signed with real names of 's friends, and like, their hometown or someplace they had vacationed recently, so all the letters wouldn't look like they came from New York.

I know this to be the case at 'organic style'...as soon as i read this entry, it rang a bell, someone i know who used to work as a editorial asst there mentioned not just that letters were handed to her, but that they actually wrote them themselves... often.... like every month... so there you go after...after she told me that 2-3 years ago, I made the generalization that this is prob standard.

I used to work at Redbook, and the assistants on staff regularly made up letters and attributed them to friends and family. Later one assistant made the huge mistake of asking her intern to invent a letter. The intern later reported this as one of her internship "duties" to the journalism chair of her school. The professor wrote a letter to the editor condemning this "unethical" practice (dude's obviously never worked at a magazine; they're all hotbeds of unethical practices), and of course the assistant got fired to save face.

The Observer makes them up all the time—I've done it myself. Plus, one editor in particular bars the publication of letters criticizing his pet authors. However, the NYO letters column is so dull, nobody cares. [Ed Note.: One of us used to have an office a few feet from the person who handled the fact-checking of that paper's letters, so uh, grain of salt on this one.]

I used to write the letters describing erotic adventures in Blueboy Magazine. Seriously. $300 per month. Ironically, most of the experiences I wrote about were true. [Note: Some of us had never heard of this publication but were informed that it does, in fact, exist, and is exactly what you think it is. -Ed.]

If you want to see some fantastical fake letters, check out the Ask section on the first page in Parade magazine. If they are real, may god strike me down because I cannot think of a single person who gives a shit about any question I've ever read since I learned to read.

Dennis Comes Clean About Titles For Sale [AdAge]

DAN BOVA NAMED EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF STUFF MAGAZINE

NEW YORK, NY [October 26, 2006] - Dan Bova has been named editor-in-chief of Stuff magazine, Stephen Colvin, Dennis Publishing U.S., President and Chief Executive announced today.

"Since joining Stuff Dan has proven to be an essential and well-respected member of the editorial staff which he'll now have the opportunity to lead. His energy and drive are as contagious as his wit. I'm looking forward to taking Stuff to new heights with him at the helm," said Colvin.

"Stuff is the ultimate lifestyle guide for guys who want the best of everything, and I am excited to make this magazine bigger and badder than ever," says Bova. "Stuff is all about no-limits living, and our readers rely on us to be their filter for cool. We're absolutely obsessive about delivering the greatest gear, music, movies, games and style—everything the 20-something with money to blow needs to know about. I apologize in advance to any readers whose heads explode from awesome overload."

Dan Bova is a veteran member of the Stuff family. His first stint at Stuff was in 2000 serving as Senior Features Editor. He left in 2003 when he moved to California joining the staff of Jimmy Kimmel Live as a segment producer. He returned to New York and Stuff as Deputy Editor in 2003 and was promoted to executive editor in 2005, a position he has held since that time. Bova began his career at Spy where he was a staff writer. He has freelanced for such publications as Details, Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Glamour and Redbook among others.

He lives on the Metro North shuttling between Stuff and his home in Larchmont, NY. He and his wife are expecting their second child in December.

Bova replaces Jimmy Jellinek who now serves as editor in chief of Maxim.

Earlier: Yunjin Kim Works On So Many Levels

Full press release after the jump.

JIMMY JELLINEK NAMED
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF MAXIM MAGAZINE

New York, NY (May 12, 2006) - Jimmy Jellinek has been named editor-in-chief of Maxim magazine, the best-selling men's lifestyle magazine in America, it was announced today by Dennis Publishing president and CEO Stephen Colvin. Jimmy Jellinek replaces Ed Needham, who is returning to England with his family.

Jellinek moves over from Dennis-owned Stuff magazine, which with its 1.3 million circulation, is the second best-selling men's lifestyle magazine in the US. As editor in chief of Stuff, he evolved the title into the premier men's product and entertainment magazine, being rewarded with success in circulation and advertising. Jellinek's replacement at Stuff will be announced shortly.

Jellinek has a long impressive career in the men's category: before joining Dennis Publishing, he was the editor-in-chief of Complex magazine. He began his career working at Rolling Stone, then moved on to Details magazine and FHM magazine. Over the past 10 years, he has written in-depth features, plus crime, service, and travel articles for the likes of Rolling Stone, Men's Journal, The New York Times Magazine, New York Magazine, New York Post, The Face, GQ, Wired, and Time Out New York.

"Maxim is all about making the lives of men better," says Jellinek. "Sure it has to have wit and sex appeal and glamour to stand out, but at its heart, Maxim should be the ultimate playbook for men; helping them navigate the uneven terrain of the 21st century world. I am going to make sure that Maxim delivers guys the vital information on everything from finance to style, from sports to entertaining. In short, I'm incredibly pleased to take on this awesome opportunity and can't wait to get started delivering our 13 million readers the best of everything every single month."

"I'm delighted to have Jimmy Jellinek as the editor in chief of Maxim," explains Colvin. "The magazine is certain to thrive under his leadership."

Jellinek's arrival comes right after the magazine's much-touted 100th issue celebration in Las Vegas, and as the famous annual "Maxim Hot 100" issue is about to hit newsstands, accompanied by a VH1-TV special.

# # #

Dennis Publishing, Inc. is a media company that publishes the two most successful modern men's lifestyle magazines in America - Maxim (2.5 million rate base) and Stuff (1.3 million rate base) - along with general interest music magazine Blender (Advertising Age's Launch of the Year and Adweek's Hot List), and The Week, a distillation of the week's most important news and opinion from the US and international media (Advertising Age's A-List). Maxim, Stuff, Blender and The Week (Advertising Age's A-List, Adweek's Hot List) are registered trademarks of Felix Dennis. Maxim Radio is broadcast on Sirius Satellite Radio on channel 108.

Felix Dennis, the maverick British publisher behind bawdy lad-mag Maxim, is putting his Dennis Publishing U.S. unit on the block.

Can't imagine why he'd want out.

Felix Dennis Throws in Towel Here, Mags May Sell for $250M [NYP]
'ELLEgirl' Shuts Print Edition, Moves to Web Only [Ad Age]
Earlier:
Breaking: 'Celebrity Living," Now Really Dead
Breaking: AMI Replaces 'Enquirer' Editor, Sends Paper Back to Florida
Time Inc. to Keep on Cutting

Poor freelancers, always having their balls cut off.

Hostel [IMDb]

Do you think New York City makes assholes out of media people or do you think asshole media people come to New York City?

This business attracts assholes like flies flock to poop. Most of us are just frustrated high school newspaper geeks who spent our teen years rubbing our hands, going, "I'll show you." So when it comes time to actually show somebody something you have to wring the most you can from the sponge. So you have all these dickheads whose sense of purpose and power derives from where they sit on a masthead. What else you going to brag about, the pay? Hell no, a first year analyst at Goldman Sachs with a coke problem makes more than most of us do.

So, so true. Editors really ARE dickheads! (But we still want to be them, a little.)

Which magazine editor is most undeserving of their success?

That schmuck from Men's Health...

Okay, except for Dave Zinczenko. No amount of money could make us want to be that kind of dickhead.

Rock and a Hard Place: Stuff Magazine's Jimmy Jellinek [Black Table]

We're starting to suspect that Kimberly Stewart — bitchy offspring of your mother's favorite singer, Rod Stewart — may be more Paris Hilton than Paris Hilton herself. As if the above fruitcake pics weren't argument enough, in the October issue of Stuff Stewart opines, "I actually prefer being flat-chested. It's just so much easier." And, 18 months prior, Paris herself said, "I used to wear padded bras until I was 17 but now I'm happy to be small."

If that's what makes you feel better about yourselves, girls.

The true star of the event was Al Gore, who won the Lifetime Achievement Award and continued his long, undignified gallop toward irrelevance by joking again about the 2000 election. (His acceptance speech: "Please don't recount this vote.") Stay tuned for the report on all the wild Webby afterparties. Wait. There were no wild Webby afterparties.—WL

Al Gore Receives Webby [NYT]
All Webby Award Winners [Official Site]

Full Dennis Publishing memo after the jump. —JO

—-—Original Message—-— From: REDACTED Sent: Thursday, May 05, 2005 10:40 AM To: REDADCTED Subject: New Editor-In-Chief for Stuff

We are pleased to announce Jimmy Jellinek as the new Editor-In-Chief of Stuff magazine.

Jimmy joins Stuff from Complex magazine, where he has served as Editor-In-Chief since May 2004. Previous to Complex, Jimmy served as Writer-at-Large for two years for FHM Magazine, where he oversaw the development of features, pop-culture coverage, interviews and product coverage. Previous to that he was the Senior Writer and one of the founding editors of FHM where he served for an additional four years. Jimmy began his career at Rolling Stone and went on to Details before joining FHM.

We have admired Jimmy's work on Complex and consider his editorial experience, vision, energy and drive perfect for leading a magazine that serves up entertainment, fashion, gear and pop culture to many millions of guys.

Mike Hammer is leaving the company to pursue another project. We thank Mike for his service to the company on Stuff and Maxim over the last six years. Mike consulted on the original issue of Maxim, launched Stuff as Executive Editor, held that position on Maxim before running the ship at Stuff for the past two years. We wish him well in all his future endeavors.

According to Press Gazette, the puckish editor sent a terminally ill 24 year-old heart transplant recipient with the Dickensian monicker Daniel Titley to a Roman-theme PlayStation party packed with naked women. Talk about make a wish!

Gutfeld says the idea of hooking up a dying man came from time spent among dead on the inside junketeering journalists:

"I used to go on press junkets when I was at Men's Health and I really started to hate travel writers because they were getting all these free trips and they never appreciated it.

"I thought there must be a way to give these things to people who wouldn't have the opportunity otherwise.

"Here's a guy who's barely left his home town, who's spent most of his life in and out of hospital and he gets to spend the day being touched by naked beautiful women.

"It's probably one of the only things I've done in my life that I'm proud of."

Maxim takes terminally ill reader on trip of a lifetime [Press Gazette]

Here we are, reading David Carr's profile of former Stuff editor-turned-Maxim UK capo di tutti laddie Greg Gutfeld (who appears to have already affected the whole Martin Amis ubiquitous cigarette style) in today's Times, and we keep getting stuck on all these naughty-seeming phrases:
· "Maxim, the No. 3 magazine in the British monthly men's market behind FHM and Loaded, has taken the arrival of these new magazines on the chin..."

· "Historically, when an American publishing company finds itself in need of something a little different, something with a little heat, it decides to reach across the Atlantic and hire the latest hotshot editor from England. Now the reach is going the other direction."

· "... Mr. Gutfeld, sitting in a borrowed office on the fifth floor of Dennis Publishing's offices in the West End of London, wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the word 'Hotdog.'"

· "'Normally we turn off the lights, take our pants off and conduct the entire meeting in French,' Mr. Gutfeld offered."

· "'I think it is very hard to come from a different place with different cultural references,' said Phil Hilton, editor of Nuts..."

Okay, it's just us.
American Upstart Tests His Manners in a Bawdy Britain [NYT]
'Maxim UK''s Gutfeld Gets Hitched, Soft

On the tragedy of losing the island you bought and living off of Christmas leftovers from the Washington Post:

"Disaster struck with no warning out of a faultlessly clear blue sky. I was taking my morning swim around the island that my brother Geoffrey, a businessman, had bought on a whim a decade ago and turned into a tropical paradise 200 yards from one of the world's most beautiful beaches."

"We have no water and no electricity and are cut off from the rest of Sri Lanka. It is impossible to buy food. We are existing on cold ham and turkey sandwiches, leftovers from Christmas dinner."

Front page photo choice in the Post yesterday. "Two white folk, one with a trucker hat with brace yourself Fox logo on it." The Post and Fox both being owned by Rupert Murdoch, but you knew that already. It's illegible in the link but the reader swears it was clear as day on the print version. We'll take his word for it since we've never actually touched a paper copy of the Post.

With visions of next year's Dennis Publishing Christmas bonus bags stuffed with Stuff- and Maxim-branded food and vitamins, employees were treated to an altogether different sort of co-branding according to a tipster.

Felix Dennis has given everyone... copies of his poetry book. We're sure these handsome volumes will delight the employees of The Strand, where they will be exchanged for store credit tomorrow.

Jolly good!

[Laughing Dennis photo from Give the Anarchist a Cigarette]

Barry Pincus, director of brand development at Dennis, said, Maxim is the world s best-selling men s lifestyle magazine. We look forward to continuing our efforts in bringing additional high quality lifestyle products to our audience which compliment the existing products launched over the last two years.

TippingSprung, as part of the exclusive representation agreement with Dennis, plans to pursue licenses in multiple product categories, including vitamins, beverages, frozen food, sporting goods, and automotive products.

The mind literally reels. For about three minutes. Then it goes blank.

The bride, we are told, is Elena Mussa, "a gorgeous former runway model-turned-photo editor of Maxim Russia." (Of course she's gorgeous: are there any other kinds of former runway models-turned-photo editors?)

We were, however, a little disappointed that the details of the wedding sounded so damned tasteful. Where were the midgets and bear suits?

Maxim-ony [Page Six]
Wedding Ring-Movie [Maxim UK]