Gawker: Stunts

Fake New York Times Stunt Spawns Important Ideological Power Struggle

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 11:57:05 EST

The Fake New York Times that blanketed America last month was an impressive stunt. A vast coalition of liberal groups and assorted artistic types came together, worked for months, and managed to pull off the writing, production, and distribution of a faux newspaper without word leaking out beforehand. The general public was impressed. So how to put the cap on this classic work? With some good old-fashioned public ideological squabbling by those involved. It's just like the 1970s!

Is Greater Than has an interview with Anne Elizabeth Moore, who was involved in the paper's production but bailed out prior to distribution day due to ideological differences. It's interesting! It also includes the following complaints:

‘Cause the project turned out to be, ‘a couple guys in New York pulled some crazy prank,’ — that’s sort of inconsequential in my mind. At least as activism, although also as art. How does that shift any power structures or misconform to any notions of how the world operates?

A ton of stuff was cut — much of it the most engaged critical stuff. Maybe stuff that took on the Times too closely, out of fear, I don’t know. Perhaps coincidentally, most content by female contributors was cut.

I’d been really cautious from the beginning that my efforts — and the efforts of the many many people I brought on board this project — not be ultimately co-opted to further forward the brand of the Yes Men. I’ve personally had enough of my efforts going toward brand names I don’t actually believe in[.]

And so what happened, right, is that The Yes Men here first became the symbol that simply replaced the New York Times as the people in power. For a moment, the positions were reversed. Ho ho! It’s not the New York Times that has all the power, it’s these guys that look and act like the guys at the New York Times and live in the same city and have similar economic and racial and backgrounds. Which is a very disempowering way of thinking about power

Other than that (and more), it was great. [Is Greater Than]

Fake New York Times Declares Iraq War Over! Here's Who Did It

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 09:28:19 EST

The Iraq War is over, according to the fake New York Times! This morning a cadre of volunteers has fanned out across New York City to pass out a remarkably good, faux-copy of the Times dated July 4, 2009. They've even set up an entire website with all of the liberal fantasy headlines. Universities to be free! Bike paths to be expanded! Thomas Friedman to resign, praise the Unitarian Jesus! It's not funny like The Onion, but obviously a lot of work went into this. Now we play "Who did it?" We already know!:

We have done some sleuthing based on intelligence received yesterday. First of all, this stunt needed a lot of volunteers to distribute the papers. They were rallied online, via BecauseWeWantit.org.

This email went out to the collaborators last night:

TONIGHT - and especially, TOMORROW MORNING (WEDNESDAY) - a year of work
involving dozens of collaborators comes to a head. Here's the schedule:

** TOMORROW (WEDNESDAY) MORNING, 7am-11am: **

Take a break in your commute to pick up materials, then distribute them
on the rest of your commute. (Or if you want to come back and refill,
fantastic.)

Look for the white UHaul vans near:

- UNION SQUARE: probably near the northwest corner of Union Square Park
- COLUMBUS CIRCLE: probably on 56th St. between 8th and 9th Ave.
- GRAND CENTRAL: probably on 43rd St. between Vanderbilt and Madison,
near west entrance of Grand Central Station.
- PENN STATION: probably on 33rd St. between 6th and 7th Ave., just NE of
Penn Station

Locations will be confirmed and updated by text alert (sign up at
http://becausewewantit.org) and email around 7am tomorrow.

** Also, TONIGHT, 5pm-8pm (if time is tight tomorrow or you just can't wait): **

Look for a white UHaul van near the NORTHWEST CORNER OF UNION SQUARE
PARK. You'll pick up the materials and KEEP THEM SECRET until TOMORROW
MORNING, when you can distribute them wherever you happen to be, or on
your commute.

WATCH TEXT ALERTS FOR ANY LOCATION CHANGES (sign up at
http://becausewewantit.org). We'll also send another email around 5pm.

** THINGS TO BRING: **

- A bag that can hold a big bundle of printed matter - as much as you
can carry. Think big canvas bags, big backpacks, rolling carts, etc.
- Warm clothes
- Friends (or we will team you up)

What will happen:
Something cool! You'll receive materials and instructions when you
arrive. NOTE: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO DID THIS. We want to maintain maximum
mystery around this, for as long as possible - at least for a couple of
days.

Tomorrow morning we'll also have an online viral campaign - a quick
click before you take off for work can make a big difference!

Thank you again for volunteering your time and energy!

See you soon,
The many secret people YOU DO NOT KNOW

BUT: The email address that sent out this message was linked to the site of The Yes Men, longtime liberal prank group that has been doing things just as complex and finely tuned as this for years. The Yes Men run the Because We Want It site, through which they set up this prank. They wanted to be anonymous for a while allegedly, but too late.

Well done, sirs. We hope the Times doesn't sue you for copyright violations.

McCain To Make Funnies on TV Three Days Before Election

Pareene — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 12:03:01 EDT

Senator John McCain will appear on the popular "sketch comedy" television program Saturday Night Live this weekend. McCain hosted the show in 2002, so he's no stranger to their fun-loving antics. The only difference is that this time out, McCain is, we're told, running for president, and the election is on Tuesday. So, sure, hanging out in New York City sounds good, why not. Barack Obama was rumored to be considering an appearance too, but it seems like he might spend the weekend before the election campaigning in swing states? He has spent enough time on network TV, thank you. (Though someone could still make a stilted, unfunny, stunt cameo during SNL's Monday night prime time election special! Keep hope alive!) [AP]

Buckley Ankles 'National Review'

Pareene — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:57:34 EDT

So Christopher Buckley, the smart-ass novelist son of late conservative intellectual William F. Buckley, went and endorsed Barack Obama in the internet pages of Tina Brown's Daily Beast. He explained, in his endorsement, that he was writing for the Beast because he didn't want to read the hate mail he'd get if he wrote the endorsement at his usual venue, the back page of the National Review. Joke's on him, everyone who reads the National Review Online is even crazier, and the NRO linked everyone to the endorsement! Now it is time for Buckley to write a "wow look at my crazy hate mail" column. And also to quit the National Review! Like forever!

Buckley's hate mail column, though, has the advantage of quoting an unnamed editor from the magazine his father founded! "One editor at National Review—a friend of 30 years—emailed me that he thought my opinions 'cretinous.'" Ha, ha, that is probably from Rich Lowry? Buckley continues:

Within hours of my endorsement appearing in The Daily Beast it became clear that National Review had a serious problem on its hands. So the next morning, I thought the only decent thing to do would be to offer to resign my column there. This offer was accepted—rather briskly!—by Rich Lowry, NR’s editor, and its publisher, the superb and able and fine Jack Fowler. I retain the fondest feelings for the magazine that my father founded, but I will admit to a certain sadness that an act of publishing a reasoned argument for the opposition should result in acrimony and disavowal.

Is it perhaps too cynical of us to assume that this was all orchestrated as a PR stunt for Tina Brown's crazy new Internet Thing?

Global Media Sours On David Blaine's Half-Ass Stunt

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:21:25 EDT

Yesterday we (and others) pointed out that "magician" David Blaine is a big fat cheater, because his current death-defying stunt—hanging upside-down in Central Park for 60 hours—involves hourly ten-minute breaks. As one commenter put it, "I'm going to eat a thousand hard-boiled eggs, but I'm only going to eat one a day for a thousand days, because otherwise I might get sick." Yes, that about sums it up. Blaine's flack said there was never any claim he would hang for 60 consecutive hours. Really? You couldn't tell that from his fawning media coverage:

Today, the half-ass nature of Blaine's stunt is being pointed out across the UK, in India, and domestically. But did America's prestigious media outlets bother to point out the very germane fact of Blaine's hourly breaks when they initially reported on his stunt? Let's see:

The AP (no mention of breaks):

What's David Blaine up to? Oh, just hanging around.

The magician-daredevil is proclaiming "I'm doin' all right" after starting his latest endurance challenge - 60 hours hanging upside-down, without a net, above Wollman Rink in Manhattan's Central Park.

CBS (no mention of breaks):

Illusionist and endurance artist David Blane plans to spend 60 hours hanging upside down in Central Park without a net. He faces serious health risks such as hemorrhaging and blindness.

And most hilarious of all, ABC News (no mention of breaks):

For three days and two nights, illusionist David Blaine will enjoy an unusual view of New York City's Central Park — one that can only be enjoyed from six stories in the air, while hanging upside down...

Dr. Ronald Ruden, Blaine's physician, told ABCNews.com that when he first heard the name of the stunt, "It scared the crap out of me."

Considering the various health hazards Blaine may face as he hangs in the position for about 60 hours, Ruden's concern is warranted. He said the stunt will be all endurance — no smoke and mirrors.

"How he does this I'm not 100 percent sure," Ruden said. "He seems to have the ability to use his mind to control his body to not experience pain and discomfort, as well as take away his basic drives to eat and sleep and defy his fear."

"We don't even know what the physiology of this is," he said with a laugh. "I hate that."

ABC, of course, is airing the big TV special on Blaine's stunt tonight. Should be awesome.

An Average Day For A WSJ Reporter

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:03:25 EDT

How is the Wall Street Journal's new glossy magazine, WSJ.—helmed by yoga mogul Tina Gaudoin—bridging the gap between the paper's dreary workaday reporters and the unbridled glamor that is a glossy magazine? By having some Journal reporters and editors pose as extras in a photo shoot for the mag, "clutching cameras and clamoring around glamorous figures." Living the dream! [WWD]

Times Uglifying Own Building To Thwart Climbers

Ryan Tate — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:43:46 EDT

Though they clearly aren't experts at building security, executives at New York Times Corp. read their own paper often enough to understand that three examples of something marks a trend. So, after the third stunt scaling of the building since May, the company is having many of the climber-friendly ceramic tubes removed from the building's facade. How many? Even the Times' own reporters don't seem to know, though they're guessing maybe 8-10 feet worth, measuring from a canopy used by all three climbers.

We, and no doubt the Times, wondered a month ago if architect Renzo Piano's "lace" skin shouldn't come down, after two ascents in one day, but the Times wanted to first try beefing up security. That clearly didn't work, but maybe this way is better: at least the paper can truthfully claim to have become not only more secure, but also a significantly more transparent organization than it was even a month ago!

[City Room]

(Photo by David Dunlap via Times)

Third Climber At Times Building

Ryan Tate — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:29:49 EDT

Yet another climber has ascended the front of the Times building, and this one brought a banner. It's not clear what it's supposed to say — the Times' City Room blog appears to have the story to itself at this early hour and is saying only that the banner "referenced bin Laden," is white "with red fliers stuck to it" and was hung above the "T" of the "The" in the Times logo etched into Renzo Piano's ceramic tubes. Also, the guy is using his cell phone a lot and appears to be a professional, though he's only reached the 11th of 52 floors before holding between the ninth and tenth. The prior two climbers, you'll recall, made it all the way to the top on June 5 before being arrested. Cops are the scene with climbing cables and hard hats. (Photo by Hioko Masuike via Times) UPDATE:

Apparently, the Times is being vague about the contents of the banner because "we can't read the words yet - we're trying," according to a newsroom staffer. If you're in midtown, and reading this, take a look for us! tips@gawker.com (What, you have something better to do at this hour?)

UPDATE 2: Nevermind, the Daily News has a picture and got a call from the climber, David Malone, who is responible for the website and book Bin Laden's Plan, which advocates new tactics against Al Qaeda. And, as reported in the comments, the Times has already put in an email to the guy for comment (the guy right outside their window — but hey, maybe he has a BlackBerry!).

[Times]

Torturing The Hitch

Michael Weiss — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:02:35 EDT

In the August issue of Vanity Fair, Christopher Hitchens gets waterboarded and comes away deciding that, yup, it's torture. You can read his piece about the experience ("You may have read by now the official lie about this treatment, which is that it “simulates” the feeling of drowning. This is not the case. You feel that you are drowning because you are drowning...") or watch video of him, black-hooded and fettered in what looks like a suburban garage, undergo the procedure. Creepiest of all may be the New Age soundtrack the trained Special Forces agents play in the background while instructing the Hitch that his safety word is "red." The look on his face after it's done could also suggest that Henry Kissinger tried to pour him a glass of wine while quoting the Bible.

Apparently, Graydon Carter made him do it, which raises the question: Who was responsible for the two-part series on day spa makeovers?

[Vanity Fair]
[Video]

Prison Food Stunt Always Amusing

Pareene — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:18:58 EDT

Lawyer Arin Greenwood ate some Nutraloaf for Slate. What is Nutraloaf? A delicious taste sensation served to prisoners who are being punished. It provides a whole day's nutrients in, uh, loaf form. Apparently there is a case before the Vermont Supreme Court over whether or not serving Nutraloaf counts as cruel and unusual. This is the peg for the Slate piece. (Though prisoners have been suing over the loaf for years, apparently.) So Greenwood makes a batch and eats it. And it's really gross. But a bunch of lawyers decided it's not bad enough to sue over. BUT at the arts and culture writers at The Onion's A.V. Club did this same stunt last April!

The A.V. Club story of the Nutraloaf stunt is more entertaining, because it has more unappetizing photos and even a little video! They only got 9 diggs out of it though. They all agreed that it was gross, so this Slate version could've been much more Slate-y if they'd decided it was actually delicious.

Look for Christopher Hitchens to eat some Nutriloaf in a forthcoming Vanity Fair piece, probably. It's fun to pretend!

Reporters Are Not World Class Athletes

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:45:10 EDT

The Wall Street Journal has a piece today in which it attempts to scientifically determine the best overall male athlete in the world, by submitting a long list of famous athletes to a panel of exercise physiologists who rank them on this and that. This is the newspaper equivalent of Rolling Stone's "100 greatest albums" list—pointless, and meant to generate argument. But they do settle the issue of who is not the world's greatest male athlete: WSJ reporter Reed Albergotti, who goes up against a top decathlete to prove that reporters are, as suspected, goofy, unathletic white guys. God, what a 'Nilla. Video of Albergotti's good-natured crusade of unathleticism is below.

[via WSJ]

6/5: Never Forget

Pareene — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 10:50:24 EDT

It turns out that "ladderlike horizontal rods that form an exterior curtain surrounding the floor-to-ceiling windows"—while a neat architectural feature—present a small problem: someone might use them as a ladder! Or two people might use them as ladders! Our only question: When the Times says, "Reporting was contributed by Charles V. Bagli, Russ Buettner, Sewell Chan, Glenn Collins, David W. Dunlap, Jason Grant, Christine Hauser, Corey Kilgannon, Eric Konigsberg, Jennifer 8. Lee, Trymaine Lee, Patrick McGeehan, Colin Moynihan, William K. Rashbaum and Paul von Zielbauer," do they just mean that all those people have offices with windows? [NYT]

Robbie Knievel's Record-Breaking Bike Jump

ian spiegelman — Sun, 25 May 2008 12:09:22 EDT

It's not an American summer holiday weekend if some crazy bastard doesn't pull off a life-threatening stunt. So, last night at an Ohio amusement park, Robbie "Son of Evel" Knievel jumped his motorcycle 200 feet through the air, hopping 24 delivery trucks and breaking his dad's 1975 record of 14 trucks in the process. Video of the jump, after the jump.

Stabby Hack Hacks Back For Gory Tab Story

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:07:21 EDT

Daily News reporter Caitlin Millat went crazy yesterday. Crazy for journalism, that is! "I stabbed an innocent victim, got shot by a police officer, and suffered a severe asthma attack on Wednesday in Brooklyn," she writes, "all in a day's work for the Daily News." She now languishes in an isolation cell on Riker's Island. No, just kidding! She was just playing the role of a crazy person to help out with the city's annual EMT competition. Don't scare us like that, Caitlin! As an added bonus for all of us curious readers, she was able to turn her unique first-person experience into a story in today's paper. Synergetic! There's also a video. Near the end is when she stabs a guy. [NYDN]

David Blaine Fails To Drown Himself On Oprah

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:00:09 EDT

Droopy-eyed magician David Blaine, a man who sounds high at all times, went on Oprah's show today to try to break the world record for holding one's breath underwater. Not to give away the ending, but he did it! Seventeen minutes. Perhaps his success will inspire him to go freeze himself in a block of ice, or lock himself away in a box, or some other activity that will take him out of the public eye. The actual clip of the breath-holding, as you might imagine, is not very thrilling to watch. So instead, after the jump we've put a clip of his video blog leading up to the stunt, in which he explains his motivation while sounding high. And another clip of that trick where he ties his shoes with no hands, which is way cooler than holding your breath any day.

Cosmo's Stupid Sexy Bikini Sex Record Sexy Stunt

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:36:43 EDT

Cosmo, the sassy, sexy source of sex secrets he's too scared to tell you, is going to an incredible amount of effort to promote its August issue: the magazine is trying to break the Guinness World Record for "most people photographed on a beach in a bikini." The old record? 1,010 girls on a beach in Australia, set last year by... Cosmo! Good to see they have a hobby. They need 1,200 "chicks 18-34" to show up on Miami's South Beach next Friday, so start hitchhiking now! You'll get a free Old Navy bikini, "style to depend on available quantity and selection." Unfortunately swimsuit photos appeal primarily to straight men, who don't buy Cosmo anyways, so this is all a big waste of time. After the jump, photos of the last record, which is still perfectly good and pointless if you ask us:

[pics via RightFielders]

Woman Of Questionable Sanity Stops Traffic For AIDS

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:47:42 EDT

Were you stopped in traffic in SoHo yesterday? You can thank Suzanne "Africa" Engo! But she had a good reason: she was stopping AIDS! How the hell was she doing that? We're not quite sure ourselves, but it involved $5,000 in (RED) Products, a 48-pound weight loss, and fabulous socialite Kristian Laliberte. We'll try to sort out the reasoning behind this insane and pointless self promotional stunt/ noble good cause for you, after the jump.

A hastily written and rambling press release from none other than Suzanne "Africa" Engo herself explains the situation:

Activist and THINK MTV Cause Celebrity Blogger/ Producer Suzanne "Africa" Engo spontaneously stopped traffic in Soho on Prince Street in New York Last Night with a GMHC STOP SIGN that read HIV AIDS ATTENTION NEEDED. Coming from a Kipton Art/ Kristian Laliberte Opening where a painting of gal pal and socialite/actress Annabel Vartanian donated money to GMHC. Engo was head to toe in product (red) and apparently on her way to the 100th Anniversary Party of Converse - A product (red) company. Engo was the first in New York to purchase all of the product (red) products mimicking the Oprah Winfrey Stunt in a spree totaling upwards of $5000 as a sign of her support to the brand founders. " I only stopped traffic and that's nothing, watch us stop AIDS, and no this isn't a shirt, it's scarf darling I am African I can tie this a thousand ways." Engo said shivering. The activist is currently on a binge to loose 120 lbs to draw attention to the fight against AIDS. " I lost 48lbs since January and I just want to have the energy to keep fighting, I'm gonna do a weigh in at the UNITED NATIONS around World AIDS Day"

Makes perfect sense! Just who is this selfless activist? According to a (likely self-written) Wikipedia entry, she's the founder of the New York AIDS Film Festival, as well as a relentless name-dropper. And one of only three people listed under Wikipedia's list of "Cameroonian Philanthropists!" Quite an honor. We yearn to know more about her important work! Suzanne "Africa" Engo, please send us a lengthy letter on your personal philosophy at once! The drivers of SoHo thank you.

And here's another picture she included, for some reason!

Where Does Page Six Get Its Sterling Prose?

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:24:21 EDT

Here's the lead to Page Six's item today about Dr. Pepper's Guns N' Roses PR stunt: "TIRED of a world in which Americans idolize wannabe singers, and where musicals about high school students pass as rock 'n' roll, Dr Pepper is begging Axl Rose to finally release this year his 17-years-in-the-making album, "Chinese Democracy." Such powerful language! Now here's the lead to the press release announcing the same event:

Tired of a world in which Americans idolize wannabe singers and musicals about high schoolers pass as rock 'n roll music, Dr Pepper is encouraging (ok, begging) Axl Rose to finally release his 17-year-in-the-making belabored masterpiece, Chinese Democracy, in 2008.

Awesome work.

Poor, Esteem-Challenged "Artists" Sought for Reality Show

ian spiegelman — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 12:11:34 EDT

If you're one of those ratty Brooklyn kids but are not blessed with the obligatory trust fund and you really, really want any tiny piece of fame, you're in luck. Casting agents for HD Gallery—which is a cable channel you might have—are looking for two artsy types willing to live by their wits and creative talents alone. "Art Race" will feature "Two Artist/Art Racers" who "must cross the US in 40 days, surviving only on Art. Armed with art materials, cameras and a $1 dollar budget, the Artist/Art Racers must 'trade' Art for food, shelter and other art-works."

Each contestant will be rewarded with a cool $20 grand, but that's not good enough for some people. One tipster notes: "ugh, you've got to be kidding me! the stupid fucks who take this up obvioulsy don't know that if you're a good artist with a good gallery, you can make 20K with one fucking piece, without having to starve and whore yourself across the fucking country[!]"

Spencerz Cans Write?

rebecca — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:01:14 EDT

In a mutually beneficial stunt, Radar is giving Hills villain Spencer Pratt his own column, entitled "YO SPENCER!" Spencer would have offered his services to Us, but they're on Team Heidi. [AP]

Psycho PR Stunt Of The Year

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:20:56 EST

What would you do if, out of the blue, you—a reporter—got a mysterious scrawled-on envelope in the mail one day with only a pair of panties in it? Probably be happy, if you're a man. But what if, the next day, you got an anonymous ransom note-style card with your picture on it, reading "I've got my eyes on you?" Load the gun and call the fucking police, that's what. But don't worry! It was all a PR stunt by some "branding agency" to get some media love! What. The. Hell? Bad move, to say the least. This is America, where reporters shoot first, ask questions later. [via Ad Age]

Mandatory Job Training Was 'AWESOME,' Say Starbucks Robots

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:07:10 EST

Yesterday almost every Starbucks in America closed for three hours in a widely publicized effort to retrain all the employees not to burn the damn coffee. No word yet on the status of the Olsen twins after the shutdown. The general consensus, which we agree with, is that this was as much a PR stunt as a retraining effort. And over at Starbucks Gossip, the definitive blog about the company (inexplicably run by King Of Journalism Jim Romenesko), the employee drones are doing their part by being INSANELY ENTHUSIASTIC about being dragged into work for three extra hours.

I just got home from the training session and I have to say it was great. It put us all on the same page and let all of us know that the standards have been raised and we WILL be held accountable for it. Not everyone remembers it. This meeting wasn't to teach us how to make coffee and thats what a lot of people are missing. This was about making the BEST cup we can EVERYTIME, no exceptions. It was about how to give you customers what you pay for and more. Not to mention it laid down some new guidelines to make sure that if the customer does not get what THEY think is the perfect cup of coffee WE WILL MAKE IT UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED. We learned the vision of Howard and what he expects of us as a whole company so that not just some stores but ALL of them are doing the best everytime. I personally thought it was informative and helpful, especially to the new hires in our store who don't know yet what they need to do and reminded all of us how to provide our customers with a place they want to be. To be perfectly honest with you I think that there are a lot of baristas out there (and if you have read some of thier posts you know what I'm talking about) that we are not only in the coffee business but also the PEOPLE business.
Posted by: TurboSpaz | Feb 26, 2008 7:28:40 PM

just got back from my training a little bit ago and i have to say it went AWESOME! i can definitely say for the first time ever, my entire store is all on the same page.

it wasn't just about "learning how to press a button" or "learning how to make coffee." it was about customer care. making our customers our #1 priority. getting back to the whole "third place" mentality. quality over speed of service.

yes, we also were making sure that we are pulling the perfect shots and making sure that we calibrate and time our espresso shots correctly. and steaming our milk to Starbucks standards so that we can make your decaf quad venti soy stirred 180 degree 3-pump vanilla 6-pump white mocha with light whip PERFECTLY EVERY TIME.

we also learned about what steps the company would be taking to get back to the good old days of Starbucks and reaffirming our commitment to the company, each other, and most importantly, our customers.

i agree that not everyone throughout the company needed to be trained to do something if they already knew how to do it correctly. but even if you didn't need the training, it's still a good job on the part of Howard's to MAKE SURE every barista, shift, ASM, and SM in each store are on an even keel with training. I applaud him and my fellow workers for taking this time out and dedicating ourselves to our company and customers. those who think this was silly (customers and partners alike) just don't understand what Howard is trying to do with making this company not just the way it used to be but BETTER.

Posted by: baristagirl | Feb 26, 2008 8:03:19 PM

[Are there any REAL Starbucks employees who want to complain about this shit? Email us.]

Scabby TV Writers Outed By Fake Craigslist Ad!

Maggie — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:00:36 EST

Matt Elzweig, the New York Press reporter who recently took Deborah Solomon to task for unsavory journalistic methods, placed a fake ad on Craigslist in which he posed as a network executive seeking non-WGA humor writers to work on a weekly series during the strike. The Press rationalized the experiment, which received more than 80 responses, by agreeing amongst themselves that the ad "reeked of bogus intent." "We wanted to meet the scabs," Elzweig explains. Ha! That's exactly the same logic vice squad cops use right before their cases are dismissed. "We wanted to meet the scabs!"

Gosh, Howard Kurtz, Don't You Think You've Had Enough?

Maggie — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 15:56:53 EDT

Before we tease Howard Kurtz again, we'd just like to say for the record that we find him to be kind of endearing, in an A/V club member kind of way. He's enthusiastic enough to maintain his own Facebook site and to do cheesy-ass things like interview himself about his own book on his own news show. That said, he's enthusiastic enough to do cheesy-ass things like interview himself about his own book on his own news show. Auto-fellating stunts like this outside of middle school are just a tad over-the-top. Are some tepid reviews prompting this kind of prancing about? The press isn't letting up on his quick-draw research skills or his performance in the art of the self-shill. We're not sure if anyone at CNN signed off on Kurtz's decision to invite a panel of media critics to interview him on that very same show, but running clips of his book tour appearances probably didn't earn him any friends among "the sneering class." When asked (groan) by himself, "who the biggest influence on the anchors is these days," Howie offered up old pal Jon Stewart, reasoning that he "points out the absurdity of real news!" Too bad Stewart wasn't in on the planning for this Reliable Sources broadcast.

Borders Will Publish Its Employees' Pathetic Little Books

Emily Gould — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:30:41 EDT

So Borders is having a contest for its 30,000 employees where they are encouraged to submit their manuscripts to their employer, which might then deign to make a book out of them! A "panel of judges at the corporate office" will award "a book deal including the full support of Borders merchandising and marketing arsenal" to the winning employee, according to today's press release. No mention, of course, of the money involved. But! "Our employees are talented and creative individuals who have a tremendous passion for books, and we believe that there are many who also have undiscovered writing talent," says Borders' executive VP for merchandising and marketing. Shelf-stocking slaves should note that they only have until January of 2008 to put (My Employer Is) Extremely Lame And Incredibly Condescending to bed.

Borders Launches Employee Author Program [PR Newswire]

The Stunt Book Trend Must Die

Emily Gould — Wed, 16 May 2007 18:08:14 EDT

Hey, wasn't it kooky and wild when A.J. Jacobs wrote a book about the year he spent reading the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica? Or when Maria Dahvana Headley chronicled the wacky year she spent saying "yes" to everyone who asked her out on a date? Or when that 'No Impact' guy and his wife decided to go a year without toilet paper and spices so that he'd be able to sell a book about it? If your answers are "kinda," "maybe" and "definitely not," you'll be extra-psyched about the latest would-be entry into this burgeoning category: a book proposal by a Denver Post reporter (pictured) who had sex with his wife every day for 100 days.

"We did it on top of a mountain. During the porn industry's annual flesh circus in Las Vegas. In a yoga ashram, and in a remote yurt. In an ostentatious hotel, a cheap motel, and a Very Victorian bed-and-breakfast in Wyoming in the dead of winter. In our basement ..." Scintillating!

"The book's simultaneously out for film consideration. Is this a movie? We could see Judd Apatow snapping this up," says New York mag's Vulture. Um, no? No! We think (hope) that even Simon Spotlight or Kensington will not be desperate enough to buy this book. The whole "Set Time Period During Which I Tried To Make Myself A More Interesting Or More Debilitated Person" thing is over, or should be. Editors, take a damn stand! Or continue to receive proposals for "My Month Of Eating Nothing But Salad Dressing" indefinitely, your call. —Emily

Author Has Sex for 100 Straight Days, Book Editors Get to Read About It [Vulture]

We'd Prefer To Set The Record For Staying Off The Subway, But That's Just Us

pevans — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 17:00:56 EDT

To follow-up on our transit transients who intended to break the record for ~~most egregious waste of time~~ fastest ride through the entire NYC subway system, covering all of 230 miles in the process.

We are delighted to report that they did indeed set the record, by a full sixty minutes. We are not surprised to report that Guinness is not officially acknowledging the record because ~~they're stoners~~ they didn't set foot on the platform in each station.

Regardless, we extend to them our kudos, but we're not shaking hands because we anticipate they'll need to shower for 48 hours to decontaminate.

Straphangers Break Record [NY1]
The Subway In A Day [NY DailyNews]
[Image: Gothamist]

Riding the Entire Subway in Record Time (and Other Lessons in Defying Reality)

Jessica — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 11:00:08 EDT

Tomorrow at 6 AM, suspected bong collectors Matt Green and Don Badaczewski (above) will get off of their couch and attempt to break the world record for riding the entire NYC subway system in the least amount of time. The current unconfirmed record stands at 25 hours, 11 minutes, but Green and Badaczewski will attempt to subvert the laws of MTA's nature and beat the time — though, just from the looks of them, we worry that they've not contacted the proper record-keeping authorities. ("Dude, you said YOU were gonna call!") From their press release, written in the third person:

While many in New York City show a casual interest in riding the subway, these two men will take it to another level, spending a steamy August day and night trapped in the sweltering subway, subsisting only on beef jerky and water, riding the rails until they have passed through every single station. It is unclear why two men would voluntarily submit themselves to such a harrowing ordeal; it probably has something to do with a need for attention or perhaps blunt head trauma sustained at a young age.

Would you call your subway riding a casual interest? Try bestial necessity. But no matter: these two guys have it in their damaged heads that this is a dream to be achieved (though to the rest of the mass-transit using world, it's a cruel indignity to be suffered). Their complete route, not including which stations where they'll stop to piss on the platform:

Start: Rockaway Park at 6 am
S to Broad Channel
A to Far Rockaway
A to Rockaway Blvd
A to Lefferts Blvd
A to High St
A to Broadway Junction
L to Canarsie
L to 14th St/8th Ave
A to Inwood
A to 168th St
1 to Van Cortlandt Park
1 to Times Square
7 to Queensboro Plaza
N to Ditmars Blvd
N to Queensboro Plaza
7 to Flushing
7 to 74th St/Broadway
V to 23rd St/Ely Ave
G to Hoyt-Schermerhorn
C to Franklin Ave
S to Botanic Garden
3 to New Lots Ave
3 to Franklin Ave
2 to Flatbush Ave
2 to Fulton St
J to Broad St
J to Fulton St
4/5 to Bowling Green
4/5 to Fulton St
2/3 to Chambers St
1 to South Ferry
1 to Chambers St
3 to 148th St
3 to 110th St
2 to Wakefield
2 to E 180th St
5 to Dyre Ave
5 to 125th St
4 to Woodlawn
4 to Yankee Stadium
D to Norwood
D to Grand St
D to Rockefeller Ctr
F to Jamaica
F to Kew Gardens
E to Jamaica Ctr
J to Myrtle Ave
M to Middle Village
M to Myrtle Ave
J to Chambers St
4/6 to 59th St/Lexington Ave
N to 59th St Brooklyn
R to 95th St
R to 36th St
D to Coney Island
N to Pacific St
Q to West 8th St
F to West 4th St
A/E to Canal St
E to 51st St
6 to Pelham Bay Park

Keep an eye out for these marathon riders; if you see them, be sure to give them the requisite water in a paper cup.

Subway Challenge [MySpace]

Dogs Start Drinking Before Noon

Jessica — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 13:42:51 EDT

In Union Square this morning, Heartland Brewery debuted the latest addition to their collection of oddly flavored beers: Slobber Lager, the beer just for dogs. In honor of the ASPCA's October fundraiser, rescued pooches were treated to Heartland's special, non-alcoholic brew that smelled something like raw beef rotting in flood water (which, come to think of it, is an improvement over O'Doul's). Exactly what Fido loves. As a bonus, Slobber Lager is less carbonated than regular human beer, so as to avoid any bloated chihuahua explosions.

Virgin Festival Inspires Bored Dudes to Put Socks on Their Dicks

Jessica — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:30:16 EDT

Is there anything more compellingly awkward than a press event based on a magazine cover stunt from last decade? Not if the above video is any indication. In order to announce the American incarnation of the Virgin Festival, the first 50 people who showed at the Union Square Virgin Megastore wearing nothing but a tube sock (in honor of the Red Hot Chili Peppers appearance on the two-day lineup) received free tickets to the festival. Nothing eases the pain of a biblically nasty Monday than watching people with nothing better to do at 11 AM than flaunt the illusion of their manhood as lengthened by a white cotton sock. NSFW if your office has a problem with anyone but Anthony Kiedis pulling this crap.

The Tard Trifecta: Richard Nouveau, JDate, and Pocket Change

Jessica — Thu, 25 May 2006 09:57:14 EDT

An email from a new e-zine called Pocket Change has been floating around, informing recipients that on Tuesday, May 23, 100 women from JDate would be expecting to meet Richard Nouveau, "the fictitious editor-at-large of Pocket Change, a new e-publication covering the most expensive items in the city." Notes the quasi-release:

For the past week, Pocket Change, has commissioned two interns to sit on jdate, setting up dates on behalf of Richard. Again, over 100 women and going to arrive anxious to meet the man they have been emailing, im-ing, and speaking with only to find 99 other hopefuls.

And it worked, apparently, as 100 women showed up at Fat Baby on Tuesday night, white roses in hand and looking to meet their date, only to find that Nouveau didn't exist. As if going to Fat Baby weren't bad enough.

OK, so Pocket Change duped a bunch of unsuspecting women. But, um, why? Is this to suggest that Jewish women are luxury items? We get publicity stunts — such as, say, dumping a bunch of pennies on a crowded sidewalk and then running away, as these guys have — but not when the stunt isn't easily connected to what's being promoted. Unless, of course, Pocket Change is for 8-year-old boys. Then it almost makes sense.

UPDATE: Apparently we've been duped now, by some coordinated email campaign saying that the stunt brought in 100 women. In reality, maybe 4 showed up (and that's being generous). Though we give Pocket Change some PR points for straight-up lying. This e-zine is gonna rock.