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stupid ideas
Historic Meeting of the Minds in Los Angeles
Ohh gosh. Britney Spears, calamine-stained wig collector and sideways recording artist, has of late been spending some time with David Hasselhoff, well respected star of the television series Baywatch and the film Floor Hamburger for Algernon. The two were introduced to each other by Britney's father Jamie, which makes mother Lynne "incandescent with rage at Jamie's stupidity." After all, Hasselhoff (also a famous baloney salesman in Germany) has had some substance problems of his own and may not be the best pal for old Britney walnuts. Lynne thinks it's all a cheap publicity stunt so Jamie can get some buzz for a new business. But it's possible that Britney is getting something out of these meetings (which involve watching many episodes of Knightrider and practicing "primal scream therapy" in the back yard). A neighbor says of the rendezvous: "Britney turns up looking like she's carrying a big bag of bad on her back and the noise can get a bit much, but she always leaves with a smile on her face." Though, the "big bag of bad" is just the Hoff in a papoose, which they use for their secret morning constitutionals. [Showbiz Spy] After the jump, exclusive video of one of their get-togethers. More »
stupid ideas
Rosie O'Donnell and Fran Drescher To Inadvertently Save Book Industry
Your mournful, desperate prayers have been answered. Big fat loudmouth Rosie O'Donnell is working on a sitcom with big Botoxed loudmouth (and Nanny) Fran Drescher. All that's been spilled about the show is that it's about three best friends. People on Rosie's blog seem quite excited about watching a half hour of shrieking every week, saying things like "omg... you and fran are going to be the new lucy and ethel! i am about to bust at the thought of it," [Disclosure: That was me.] In response to the news, Red Cross volunteers have begun handing out pistols and Barbara Kingsolver novels on street corners. [LAT]
Do Not Pass Go
Ridley Scott, respected director of films such as Blade Runner, Gladiator, and American Gangster has reportedly signed on to direct a movie based on the board game Monopoly. Erm, yup. No word yet on who will play Rich Uncle Pennybags. We're gunning for obvious choice Wilford Brimley. Or, thrillingly, Cate Blanchett. [FishbowlNY]
Ridley Scott, respected director of films such as Blade Runner, Gladiator, and American Gangster has reportedly signed on to direct a movie based on the board game Monopoly. Erm, yup. No word yet on who will play Rich Uncle Pennybags. We're gunning for obvious choice Wilford Brimley. Or, thrillingly, Cate Blanchett. [FishbowlNY]
You're Fired!
Busty blonde belter Christina Aguilera will let you know when she's irrationally angry at you. By firing you. That's what she did to her PR people, manager, and assistant when the issue of People magazine that featured her and her new baby on the cover did not sell well. What exactly do these people have to do with magazine sales (especially the assistant)? Wasn't it their job to get her on the cover, not sell the magazine? They even managed to get a her a mind-boggling $1.5 million for the shoot, which is way above industry standard. Oh Christina! You so crazy. But, what can we do? A girl wants what a girl wants. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Busty blonde belter Christina Aguilera will let you know when she's irrationally angry at you. By firing you. That's what she did to her PR people, manager, and assistant when the issue of People magazine that featured her and her new baby on the cover did not sell well. What exactly do these people have to do with magazine sales (especially the assistant)? Wasn't it their job to get her on the cover, not sell the magazine? They even managed to get a her a mind-boggling $1.5 million for the shoot, which is way above industry standard. Oh Christina! You so crazy. But, what can we do? A girl wants what a girl wants. [Crazy Days and Nights]
the written word
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Tori Spelling
Remember Tori Spelling? No, not the dead one! That's her bazillionaire TV mogul papa Aaron. Tori is his deformed daughter. Tori is (was?) an actress who played the virginal Donna Martin (who did, in fact, graduate) on daddy's hot show about cool teens in the hot, cool city Beverly Hills 90210 ("Nine-oh" for in-the-know fags and losers). She also had a glorious career in television movies, most famously in the best-titled movie ever made, Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? Well, that's all over now and she was cut her out of her dad's will, so she needs some cash! And what does that almost always mean for nonentity celebrities like Tori and Lance Bass? MEMOIR!!!! Yerp, Tori has written a tome of doubtless grandiloquence that will be hitting the shelves anon. Some selected passages after the jump. The most pleasing? When she says that "Nine-oh" (see?) costar Luke Perry called her "Camel" because of her long eyelashes. Right. That is why he called her camel. It had nothing to do with her looking exactly, in every way possible, like a camel. Oh, Tori. More »
stupid ideas
Reality Duo To Somehow Make Video Games Even Bigger Waste of Time
Oh for Christ's sake. Eternally grasping and desperate reality TV stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are now saying that, in addition to Ms. Montag's super exciting music career, they will be working on a video game. "You can definitely play as us or you can play against us," says Pratt of the game. He was at some kind of video game function at the time, so maybe he was just drunkenly exaggerating. But, he does keep prattling (get it?) on about it, so mayyybe it's a real idea? Who the fuck knows anymore. [US] After the jump, a preview of the new Hills season! Plus, a preview of Montag & Pratt's new video game. More »
stupid ideas
