Gawker: stupid things

Happy Magazine Shuttered For Bad Grammar, Sad

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:37:15 EDT

Sick of the negativity rampant in the liberal mainstream media, the Cook County (IL) Board paid $25K to produce its own magazine—one that would ensure "regular, positive press." But the initial run of 5,000 copies (which has already been printed) will never be distributed, because the magazine had too many misspellings and grammatical errors. Your government at work, ladies and gentlemen. "I have to find a way to get rid of them," said the county's spokesperson. Build a fort? It probably won't be too much of a loss, considering:

The cover story is an interview with [Cook County Board president Todd] Stroger that starts by asking him, "How are you feeling these days?" There's also a short obituary for Stroger's late father and predecessor as county board president, John H. Stroger Jr., who died in January. It misspells his name.

[Sun-Times via Folio]

Jim Strzalkowski Simply Must Tell You The Irrelevant News!!

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:27:07 EDT

What's the word on the street these days? "Word on the street is that Brian Anthony is also fighting hard to open for Madonna on her upcoming "Hard Candy" tour." This Brian Anthony, who is some type of music maker, did a mashup of his music with Madonna's and put it on his Myspace page. Now, "The 'Worked Up!' mash-up is being passed around the Madonna camp and the buzz is BIG on it." How can we be so sure? Because we got the information firsthand, in a hilariously inept press release from Jim Strzalkowski, fantabulous PR man—and fan—to the D-list stars!

Some PR people like to stick with very formal public statements; others prefer to pass around tips in whisper campaigns, as if they were your friend. But Strzalkowski's M.O. is to write his press releases in the format of a letter from this little-known celebrity's hugest fan, as if he was just so overcome with his admiration for their brilliance he couldn't help but to send out email blasts telling every last detail of their miserable careers. Clients be damned—Jim Strzalkowski just wants to see these talented artists succeed.

He first came to our attention with his ebullient letter about the fact that Paris Hilton impersonator Natalie Reid got a bit part in a Wayans Bros. movie. She had a trailer and fans and everything! He even sent us some pictures "for public display." Thanks, Jim!

Now, he's keeping gossip sites like us on the cutting edge of Brian Anthony's doomed attempt to work his way onto Madonna's tour, somehow. "As Reported at GENO'S WORLD." Let us at it! Hey Jim, don't get so excited about it that you go and put your own job in jeopardy—we need you!:

If you are a Madonna fan or a fan of dance music in general, you MUST visit Brian Anthony's MySpace page to check out his "Worked Up! Brian Anthony Vs. Madonna" megamix! What a treat! It's great to hear one of our favorite early Madge songs, "Everybody," sampled throughout. I made the mistake of bouncing to it at work and made a big scene dancing with my co-workers!
...

With this Latin lover's "mucho caliente" looks and his steamy lyrics you know the girls across the pond are salivating for him. Wait until Madonna gets her hands on this one!

We'll wait.

Epic Battles: Miranda July vs. Cat

Richard — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:10:00 EDT

So a lot of people don't like Miranda July and all her whimsical shtick. I adored No One Belongs Here More Than You for all its sad weirdness. But I know some of you don't go for that kind of thing, so I'm not mad. I'm actually happy that some people don't like Miranda July because otherwise we'd never have this duel. See, Miranda made a Blonde Redheads music video in which she strikes a new pose every second. It's weird and kind of mesmerizing. Well, because the internet loves cats, someone recreated the video (sort of) using a funny little black and white Mr. Meowington. Watch the July version above, the cat version after the jump. (I have no idea what's going on right now.)