Swiping People Into the Subway Is a Civic Duty So Fuck the NYPD
In Manhattan, the NYPD will no longer throw you in jail for asking a fellow citizen for a little help. Wow—civilized!
The NYPD Is Run by an Out-of-Touch Old Man
Bill Bratton, the head of the NYPD, presides over an army of 35,000 officers and dictates law enforcement policy for a sprawling metropolis. He is also scared of riding the subway.
Bill de Blasio Wants to Build Streetcars For the Brooklyn-Queens Waterfront's Wealthy Gentrifiers
In his State of the City speech on Thursday—attendance at which his administration is working very diligently to limit to friendly faces only—Mayor Bill de Blasio will unveil, among other things, his proposal to build a streetcar line along the East River, connecting Sunset Park, Brooklyn, with Astoria, Queens.
In The Future You Won't Be Able to Pee Between Subway Cars
Amid all of humanity’s fantastical projections of future technology, one stands out: we may live to see a day when it is impossible to piss between moving New York City subway cars.
Always, Always Walk Down the Escalator
It has come to our attention that some trolls and anarchists have been spreading false information about urban transportation efficiency—right when people need the truth the most. We are here to assure you that is always right to walk down an escalator.
Don't Let School Kids Mess Up Our Commute
Now that school is back in session, the morning subways are overcrowded with a bunch of kids. What’s being done about this?
You Probably Can't Jump Across the Subway Tracks
Did you ever wonder if you could jump all the way across the subway tracks?
Fancy Mayor De Blasio Thinks the Subway Runs Just For Him
New York City’s last mayor was a hawk-faced billionaire. Our current mayor, Bill “de” Blasio, is supposed to be a populist by comparison. Still, the process of riding the sub-way is enough to confound and mystify our city’s leader.
OK--Swedish People Run New York Now--That's How It Is?--I'm Shocked
Is this real life? Here I am in New York “Fuckin” City, the roughest as well as toughest city that never sleeps—not even for a minute. Well maybe all of that insomnia is getting to us because—what’s this?—Swedish tourists are the “tough guys” here now?
Self-Reliant Subway Hero Doesn't Need Any of You Bastards
A New York commuter is alive today after climbing off of the subway tracks just before an incoming 6 train would have struck and smashed him. No thanks to anyone but himself.
Expert: If You Lick a Bunch of Subway Poles You'll "Probably be Fine"
Sure, by now you've seen The Wall Street Journal's interactive map of germs on the New York subway, but what does the study it was based on mean for regular perverts like you and me? According to one researcher, it means you're probably cool to keep licking subway poles.
Interactive Map Tells You Exactly Which Germs Are At NYC's Subway Stops
There are two ways you can take this interactive map put together by the Wall Street Journal that lists the bacteria found in each of New York City's gleaming 466 subway stations. One reaction is, "Holy shit, New York City is incredibly disgusting and basically nobody should live there." The other, if you live here,…
Metrocard Base Fare to Rise in Price by 25 Cents (Again)
The Metropolitan Transit Authority voted on Thursday to raise the price of single-ride Metrocards on subways and buses by an additional 25 cents, making a trip anywhere in New York City cost $2.75. When will the madness stop?
Small Child Brings Innocence and Joy to a Hopeless Place
Look at this little pink powderpuff of a child moving about the New York subway system with jubilance and glee. She knows naught of the F train condom; the horny nudists are but a blip on her developing radar. Watch as her childlike wonder reaches across the platform like a lasso, snaring onlookers in its sticky grasp…
Couple Has Baffling On-Purpose Wedding in NYC Subway
What is your second-biggest subway-related fear, assuming your number one fear is being pushed in front of an oncoming train? Take a minute. Is it suddenly finding yourself in a wedding gown, getting married on the N train in front of grumpy strangers on their ways to and from work, like a horrible nightmare from…
Police Arrest Man Suspected of Pushing a Stranger in Front of a Subway
Police say they believe the man suspected of shoving a 64-year-old in front of an oncoming train also attacked a man on a subway platform earlier this month.
Man Who Stole Dead Woman’s Cell Phone Turns Himself In
Boston transit police have identified a man who stole the phone of a woman who was killed by a subway train on Thursday, reports the Boston Herald.
Subway Musician Goes Down Singing During Arrest for Legal Performance
It's not often that a police officer will explain to you why what you're doing is perfectly legal just before he puts you in handcuffs, but that's exactly what happens to a New York City subway platform musician in the video above.
Three Weeks Later, the F Train Condom Is Still Fucking Hanging There
Listen: I tried to talk to you about this last week, and it just doesn't seem like I'm getting through, but I'm going to give it one more shot. That used condom—you know the one, tied to an F Train handrail, sagging under the weight of its own viscous insides—it's still fucking there.
Get Ready for "Dangerously Hot" Subway Platforms, MTA Warns
A report soon to be issued by the MTA warns of what any New Yorker who took the train to work yesterday already knows: on a sticky summer day, subway platforms get really fucking hot.
