suckers - Gawker

posts about #suckers more →
Invest It All In Ham
Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
Are You Smart Enough to Join the Army?
Scams We Wish We Thought Of: College Admission Counseling
Meet Your (Probable) $13,000 HuffPo Intern
Vapid Fauxcialites Seek Huge Sucker for 'Internship'

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

deardearfriend
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
And cheese!
[www.boston.com]
Reply

Smitros promoted this comment deardearfriend was starred deardearfriend was unstarred

Smitros
08/25/09

@deardearfriend:
That sounds like a croque, madame.
Reply

Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred

Swifter
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
I hear Microsoft is going to give away a free ham sandwich with every copy of Windows 7.
Reply

Swifter was starred Swifter was unstarred

Spirit Fingers
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
Oh, my. Bacon currency would be so complicated. Of course, we'd spend more, but we'd also eat more. There really wouldn't be enough profit made anywhere. Imagine if you could put money in an egg sammich. "That'd be five whole bacon-dollars please, with ketchup and a little mayo on a roll. Coffee, light and sweet. To go." Breakfast would truly be the best meal of the day, well, before your arteries imploded.
Reply

Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred

Unsolicited Advice
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
The chances of winning per lottery number sold are not modified by the number of locations, so that 16,000 outlets bit is irrelevant. Each number sold on a lottery ticket has a fixed probability of winning. The chances of selling two winning tickets two weeks in a row is found by multiplying the store's sales volume times the chance of winning per number sold and then multiplying that product against itself.

(Tickets sold in week 1 * Odds) * (Tickets sold in week 2 * Odds)
Reply

Edited by Unsolicited Advice at 08/25/09 3:30 PM Unsolicited Advice was starred

bytememehard
08/25/09

@Unsolicited Advice: I didn't know you were a Mathodist.
Reply

bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred

Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
I just saw a commercial last night for "Ham, the forgotten meat".
Reply

homoviper
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
I'm winning tonight.
Reply

homoviper was starred homoviper was unstarred

DahlELama
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
Jeez, this isn't helpful at all. Can we get a kosher alternative please?

...shuffles away, mumbling something about damn anti-Semites...
Reply

DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred

Conchie Birdie
08/25/09

@DahlELama: Bears? I've never eaten bear but I bet it could be a hot commodity if we spread the word.
P.S. So as someone not of the Jewish faith, I googled Kosher foods and was surprised to find lobsters and shellfish as non-Kosher!
Reply

Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

DahlELama
08/25/09

@Conchie Birdie: Alas, bears are on the verboten list as well, along with shellfish, bunnies, and birds of prey.

How about deer, HamNo? Are deer a sound investment? Will anyone lend me money for a chunk of venison and some Kedem grape juice?
Reply

DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred

naugahydeinplainsight
08/25/09

@DahlELama: Truman tried to move the country to a deer-standard currency, saying: "The buck stops here."
Reply

Smitros
08/25/09

@DahlELama:

Fatted calf?

I don't enjoy pork as much as many, but in pre-refrigeration and pre-banking times a pig was a great store of value (and scraps).

As B-SK notes below, what happens with porciculture now is an abomination from an ecological perspective. The same could be said of industrial chicken farms.
Reply

Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred

Conchie Birdie
08/25/09

@Smitros: So you're saying a no-go on ham and chicken? How about wild turkey?
Reply

Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

Smitros
08/25/09

@Conchie Birdie:
Depends on how they're raised and slaughtered. Wild Turkey is a little too raw for me.

As for the bird of that name, I understand they're a lot craftier than they're domesticated cousins.
Reply

Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred

Conchie Birdie
08/25/09

@Smitros: Oh, they certainly are. There was this entire gang of them that would roam my college's campus and wreak havoc on car tires and sit up in the trees and glare at you whenever you were leaving the library around twilight.
I suggested a turkey shootout for Thanksgiving (to give to the needy) but couldn't get enough votes in the student association.
Reply

Edited by Conchie Birdie at 08/25/09 5:09 PM Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

Conchie Birdie
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
So does this mean we can go back to trading furs (fine, faux furs) for spices and land? That'd be fun, it'd be like a real life Oregon Trail!
Reply

Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

lamey007
08/25/09

@Conchie Birdie: Should we caulk the wagon or ford the river?
Reply

Conchie Birdie promoted this comment lamey007 was starred lamey007 was unstarred

Banjo-Sea Kitten
08/25/09

@Conchie Birdie: there is nothing finer than faux...although some faux fur is made from live dogs in China so check carefully before purchasing.

P.S. while I'm at it: factory farmed hogs are ruining the world. NC alone is becoming one big toxic waste dump from the piggie run-off into the waterways.
Reply

Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred

Conchie Birdie
08/25/09

@lamey007: Well, with the 134 pounds of buffalo I was able to bring back from my hunt (even tho I really shot around 450 pounds), I think we should def. ford the river.
Crap. I think I just got dysentery.
Reply

Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

abettertomorrow
08/25/09

In reply to Invest It All In Ham
uhh, but assuming two jackpot opportunities a week, (mega millions and take five), once a store has sold one winning ticket, chances that they'll sell another one in the next 7 weeks are 1 in 1,142 I think.

Chances that a given store will sell two jackpot tickets in a period of 8 weeks are exactly 1 in a million, if I've remembered my stats correctly. Assuming 16 jackpots in an 8 week period and 16,000 outlets. Kind of a fun stat!
Reply

abettertomorrow was starred abettertomorrow was unstarred

The Lone Scout
08/07/09

In reply to Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
Sorry--got timed out wrestling with html during the first go. Here’s the address I was attempting to link for the New York Times article about President Obama's search for metrics to judge the effects of Operation Enduring Freedom:

//www.nytimes.com/2009/08/07/world/asia/07policy.html
Reply

Edited by The Lone Scout at 08/07/09 9:00 AM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred

The Lone Scout
08/07/09

In reply to Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
I read this post yesterday and slept on it. I realized upon waking that the New York Times article of the same day about President ... neglected to mention Robert McNamara. That is painfully ironic.

Upon his recent passing, I purchased a used copy of Deborah Shapley's 615-page biography of the man (Promise and Power). I am well into this book, and I strongly urge its lessons to everyone (not just statisticians or ISTJs).
Reply

Edited by The Lone Scout at 08/07/09 8:41 AM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred

BookishLookish
08/06/09

In reply to Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
BL's one date with statistician:
Math Boy (geeky but v. cute and in that big hands/wide pelvis way that usually means something good is afoot) rambles on and on about what he does, drops mathy science, for about an hour until BL's eyes are about to roll.
BL: So what's the probability of your having a big cock, statistically (slurred) speaking?
Math Boy: That would be fifty-fifty. Here, let me improve those odds. Bartender!
That smart-looking lady in front of the blackboard who wrote that math is fun? She doesn't lie.
Reply

Edited by BookishLookish at 08/06/09 7:05 PM BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred

econdave
08/06/09

In reply to Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
Hal Varian≠sexy.
I'm trying to think of any sexy economists, and am drawing a complete blank.
Reply

econdave was starred econdave was unstarred

JacquesPaysan
08/06/09

In reply to Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
Dang, and I studied imaginary numbers. Fuck you, square route of negative one!
Reply

JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred

rozoplatonic
08/06/09

In reply to Math Nerds Getting Richer, Sexier
I was not aware that 125k is significantly more than the average math/econ/science phd from Stanford or a similar school makes exiting 5-7 years of intense study and thesis writing. If that's an incredible salary to be making when you are nearing 30, the very smart phd holders (who probably could have sold out and worked on wall street) are probably not in it for the money.
Reply

HurtsSoGood approved this comment rozoplatonic was starred rozoplatonic was unstarred

Paul.B.Dodd
08/06/09

@rozoplatonic: I don't know any science PhDs making 125K right out of graduate school in the science industry. Please let know where you find these high paying jobs.
Reply

HurtsSoGood promoted this comment Paul.B.Dodd was starred Paul.B.Dodd was unstarred

HurtsSoGood
08/06/09

@Paul.B.Dodd: The gaming industry? Wall Street? Madison Ave.? The insurance industry? Washington political think tanks?
Reply

HurtsSoGood was starred HurtsSoGood was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment