If it's summertime, and you have a net worth that is at least seven figures, that means it's time for JPMorgan's suggested summer reading list—the books that they tell their wealthy clients to pretend to read this summer. The wealthy, their bankers apparently believe, are dumb.
The summer is here, and that means it's time for thousands of affluent east coast party animals to pack up and head to the rented beach house in Provincetown for the annual 4th of July PARTY WEEK. Are all you guys ready to "have a blast this summer with another epic July 4th trip to Ptown?" Great! Step one: read this…
Hello, do you wonder what is the newest fashionable thing to wear this summer? You've come to right internet site (Gawker.com). We can now EXCLUSIVELY report that, according to other reports, the following things are the "hottest" fashions, this summer.
Although Frank Bruni is a bad newspaper columnist, he does write for a very influential newspaper, even if he doesn't always seem to know it. But we can't expect Frank Bruni to always be writing about "news." Sometimes, you just wanna say, "Hey, Frank: could you opine on the current season, for 800 words or so?"
Beloved New York day trip destination and shithole Coney Island was hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. Not to worry: Matt Chaban reports that, with the official opening of CONEY SUMMER 2013 FUCK YEAH CLAM STRIPS *VOMITS* just weeks away, the rebuilding effort has successfully rehabilitated the charming hellscape. Buildings,…
It's half-past August, and you know what that means in No Child Left Behind the 7-11 Without Some Book-Learnin' America: it's time for your unruly, ungrateful, and uncomprehending children to put down their childish toys of summers and return to the cold, gleaming socialization boxes in which we warehouse them…
After an extended soggy winter, it's finally beach needle season in New York. Four New Yorkers stepped on beach needles in the past few weeks. Where were most of them, I wonder? Specifically? "Three incidents happened within the last three weeks on Staten Island."
Generally speaking, no mischief perpetrated by teenagers is "news." Teenagers not perpetrating mischief is news. This is because—no matter what race, creed, nationality, or socioeconomic stratum they come from—teenagers are punks. Do not, however, tell this to the New York Times. They have a very incisive sociological…
Well well well. The sun is shining in the sky above and the frost has melted from the ground, meaning summer is nigh. Law requires you to journey to the beach, where people will gaze judgmentally upon your naked flesh. What shall you do, then?
Oh ho, what's this? The winter's icy grasp has at long last slipped from our fair city's throat, and that can only mean one single, solitary thing: it's time for media softball season once again.
People got shot all over America this weekend! Which is bad, but not as crazy as the massive brawl in the DC subway system. Which was bad, but not as crazy as the lady run over by 11 trains.
[New Yorkers yesterday swam in pools that were converted from dumpsters on Park Avenue as part of the city's Summer Streets, where streets are temporarily closed to car traffic. Image via Getty]
The summer's been fun, but you might as well just sleep through the rest of it. The climactic event has occurred. That's right: the paper of record has decided which sport is most popular in The Hamptons this season.
When someone asks what television shows you watch, it's pretty likely you go for the good stuff — Mad Men, The Wire. Because it makes you sound smart and you do actually watch those shows. But mostly, you watch fluff.
[The terribly literary Madison Avenue Baptist Church makes us ruminate on summer today; image via Rafael Chamorro's Flickr]
Ohhh girrrl! The Real Housewives of New York are hookin' up. Because it's summer and young man's fancies have turned to sweaty lust, and so have old ladies'. The Countess was seen dancing, while Kelly was spotted flirting with Leonidas.
New York magazine should know that it's setting itself up by sponsoring an event called a "Highbrow BBQ." I mean, really. The cookout yesterday offered the public food from Top Chef contestant CJ Jacobson, along with a concert, for $25. And for that price, one could at least expect a big piece of chicken. But a…
Summer is not just an excruciatingly slow time of year for actual news; it's also an excruciatingly slow time for manufactured news. It's not like ad agencies can just riff off all the interesting scandals in the news, when there are no scandals in the news. What does that mean for you, the consumer? A shitload of …
I know, I miss it too. I've been trying to give you some information on beloved (by a select few) New York teen soap Gossip Girl, but the summer is a quiet time for TV news. Luckily for us, on this lovely summer Wednesday, while our Upper East Side friends are busy filming in the Hamptons, a few GG-related items have…
"What is one to say about June, the time of perfect young summer, the fulfillment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade." —Gertrude Jekyll. Enjoy your Commies for best comments of the week, before the glory fades, after the jump.
