Gawker: Summertime

New York Magazine's "Highbrow" Barbecue: A Big Ripoff?

Hamilton Nolan — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 12:46:14 EDT

New York magazine should know that it's setting itself up by sponsoring an event called a "Highbrow BBQ." I mean, really. The cookout yesterday offered the public food from Top Chef contestant CJ Jacobson, along with a concert, for $25. And for that price, one could at least expect a big piece of chicken. But a disgruntled tipster tells us that all she got out of the experience was a bit of watermelon, some nasty taco sauce soup, and an apology from a bourbon-swilling CJ. Overblown ripoff, or just a griping, overly entitled guest? You be the judge! The full report:

my friends and i went to the NY Mag sponsored highbrown backyard bbq today.
and it was a total failure. first of all it was in some gross parking lot on the east river, so there goes the "highbrow" part of it. second, i dont think they actually bbq'd anything. it was supposed to be a bbq with some sort of tacos, fruit salad, mexican corn, peach cobbler, and beer—tickets were $25 and sold out a few days ago, so you think they would know how many people were there. it was from 1-5pm, we got there just before 3 they were out of: beer, corn, peach cobbler, utensils. so essentially we paid 25 bucks for a stupid cold taco and a couple cubes of watermelon. CJ (from top chef) was there—drinking bourbon and apologizing, "they didn't tell us there were going to be 600 people here" and attempted to give my friend an impromptu soup out of some taco sauce (gross, but they didn't have spoons anyway). i dont even know if that band played either, they were blasting some sort of awful dance music through blown speakers. now i'm stuck with a year subscription of ny mag that i dont want, ugh.

The Vicious Cycle Of Publicity Stunts

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 09:26:33 EDT

Summer is not just an excruciatingly slow time of year for actual news; it's also an excruciatingly slow time for manufactured news. It's not like ad agencies can just riff off all the interesting scandals in the news, when there are no scandals in the news. What does that mean for you, the consumer? A shitload of publicity stunts, in which advertisers try to create some interest out of nothing. What does that mean for advertising reporters? Stories about these very stunts—sometimes even a trend story, to give the appearance of being something more than just a roundup of items from Adrants. See, the system works! Although that doesn't mean any of these stunts are necessarily good:

A Chevrolet billboard that used real pennies was stripped clean within 30 minutes. In Singapore, advertisers painted an extra yellow safety line on a train platform with the name “Wonderbra” on it, leaving commuters to figure out the message (that the bra’s lifting qualities were so forceful that wearers would have to stand back)...

Many people did not get it.

You can't ask for everything to make sense. It's hot outside. Stay tuned here for breaking news coverage of only the finest future publicity stunts throughout the summer and beyond!

[NYT]

Summertime Update: Car Wrecks, Gay Sex, and Nose Jobs

Richard — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:11:00 EDT

I know, I miss it too. I've been trying to give you some information on beloved (by a select few) New York teen soap Gossip Girl, but the summer is a quiet time for TV news. Luckily for us, on this lovely summer Wednesday, while our Upper East Side friends are busy filming in the Hamptons, a few GG-related items have floated onto my desk, like glorious Burberry-winged butterflies.

First there was the scary news of Chuck Bass's small taxi accident. Luckily he escaped unscathed. Then there is yet another interview with Chace "Nate" Crawford in which he's asked point blank if he's gay and he, of course, denies it. We do find out, though, that in high school he was a greeter at Abercrombie & Fitch, that store that can make some teens feel vaguely sad because the popular preppy kids all wear it and these other teens picture the cool preppy kids cavorting on beaches and drinking from kegs and laughing and being good-looking together and then in bitter contrast there are the other kids in ill-fitting button-ups from the Gap that their moms said were cool and there they are standing and staring like total weirdos at other kids in a clothing store. Hah! Hey! Where did I go there? Anyway, the real GG scandal of the day is a tipster who believes that Blake "Serena van der Boring" Lively used to have a different nose!

Yes indeed. InStyle has a little slideshow of photos of the actors when they were in high school and Blake's nose does look a little suspiciously different. Take a look at the photo below and judge for yourself.

God love a slow news day!

"Spend All Day Masticating Uselessly"

Richard — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:10:00 EDT

"What is one to say about June, the time of perfect young summer, the fulfillment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade." —Gertrude Jekyll. Enjoy your Commies for best comments of the week, before the glory fades, after the jump.

From Knucklehead Babylon in MySpace Hotties Prove Themselves Real:
"They should have certificates of authenticity. Like Beanie Babies." —Sheila

From Pope John Peeps II in Candy Candy Candy:
"famous retard Thomas Friedman says:

Gum was a pre-911 candy, when americans could lounge over the disappearing flavour of their confection, and spend all day masticating uselessly. It was a candy of indulgence and softness, which allowed terrorism to strike. In the 90s there were many bubbles. There was the stockmarket bubble, the corporate governance bubble, the terrorism bubble and the gum bubble...[continues on post]" —Hamilton

From fiveinchtaint in Entertainment in New York City:

From Sarcastro in Luck of the Drowned:
"I got a tremendous amount of stanky for my hang-low whilst on holiday in Burma." — I don't really know what this means, but it sounds funny. And gross.

From EleanorRigby in Prepare to Be Robbed, IKEA Customers:
"Particle board and gravlax make people do crazy things." — Heh, gravlax

Party Pick. Two words: CodePink. She wrote ewoqwentwee in Naughty Bits Left Out of Barbara Walters' Audiobiography:
"His tone bawday stood befaw me like Adonis himself. Wonduhwing exactwy what I had gotted myself into, he ansuhhed that question by getting INTO me. That is to say, he entuhhed me, with bweathless abandonment and waging passion. That of a centahh or maybe even, a dwagon. I. Bahbaw Wahwah. Was his."

Terrific week everyone! Nothing actually happened, but all still had plenty to say.

ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM.

Vanity Fair's Guide To The Summer

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:13:48 EDT

Vanity Fair is a national publication, but it's gone to a lot of trouble to market itself to the tastemakers of New York City. The magazine has produced a 40-page guide to the summer in NYC, with lists and quick critiques of everything from the best outdoor bars with roof decks to the hottest summer concerts. It's a smart (if labor-intensive) promotional move: making the in-crowd know you went to a lot of effort on their behalf. Populists that we are, we're bringing the entire document to the public—you can view the whole thing here. Below, a sample page of VF's editorial comments on summer bars:

Hamptons Memorial Day Weekend

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 23 May 2008 12:29:32 EDT

We've put together a quick and dirty list of the hottest spots in the Hamptons this Memorial Day weekend, which starts for us incredibly soon. If you are rich, famous, or fabulous, you will no doubt go to at least one of these clubs. We will not. So please send us reports, as well as info on upcoming Hamptons parties this summer so we can put together our full calendar. After the jump, where to blow money this weekend:

Memorial Day Weekend:

Lily Pond (East Hampton), featuring R&B singer Estelle this weekend.

Pink Elephant (Southampton), featuring Jaslene Gonzalez of ANTM. The owners of Pink Elephant also opened a large new Southampton club called La Playa, ready for this summer.

The Surf Lodge (Montauk), featuring reggae star Julian Marley this weekend.

Blue & Cream (East Hampton) hosts a party for model Maggie Rizer.
TenJune, which opens its private house, "The Estate." Molly Simm birthday party, May 24.

DUNE (Southampton): various DJs Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. Yankees star Alex Rodriguez is expected to attend. Table cost: $2,000.

Other Events: Jason Binn is hosting a party for Kim Cattrall at his house in Southampton Saturday night, and Kelly Ripa is hosting a store opening in East Hampton the same evening, a tipster says.

"Our customers wanted more flip-flop luxury"

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:17:59 EDT

See these flip-flops? They're not just any flip-flops. They're high fashion, "Married to the Mob" flip-flops, and they cost $42. Can you spot the reason why this is stupid? That's right: you pay ten times what you would pay for a plain pair of flip-flops, in order to have a brand name which is covered by your foot when you are wearing them. I imagine fashion snobs must just hang these flip-flops jauntily over their shoulder instead of slipping them on their feet, so that the logo can shine freely. In fact, the entire idea of paying extra for name-brand flip-flops is a bit ridiculous. But the price tag can get much, much worse than $42. Allow us introduce you to PechePlatinum—the "World's Most Expensive Flip-Flops."

PêchePlatinum uses PêcheBlu's patent pending ultra-sports shoe base with hand-matched crocodile straps for magnificent comfort. These ultimate flip flops are for those who want to express their individuality in a world of mass production.

Who wants to be seen as just another schlub wearing mass-produced flip-flops? "Our customers wanted more flip flop luxury and crocodile worked perfectly to add quiet elegance, which is the essence of our footwear," said the company's CEO, hilariously.

And here they are, in all their glory. They cost $400. Please email us if you spot these on the streets: