The nature trail warrior cosplayers are hitting day 25 of their exercise in extended squatting, and it looks like cabin fever has finally taken its toll. Because now, they’ve promised to leave if Chris Christie can beat the man you see above in a sumo match. In other words, Chris Christie is finally good for something.
It was a crime of infinite ridiculousness: Dressed in a sumo wrestling suit, Sandra Talbot assaulted her ex-girlfriend with her own girth and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, vengeance for flirting with a man dressed as giant Snickers bar.
[Sumo students attempt to make babies cry in the "Sadism Competition"—no, sorry, that's the "Crying Sumo Competition"—at Sensoji Temple in Tokyo. Tradition holds that crying is good for the health of the babies. Pic via Getty]
Former French president Jacques Chirac was, as the gleeful British press puts it, "mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog." He — and French stereotypes — are expected to make a full recovery.
Yep, we heard about the sumo rasslers parading around town, half-naked and bulgey. They're a publicity stunt for video streamer Heavy.com. See, the site is called "Heavy," and sumos are heavy! Haw! (Should the plural of sumo also be sumo? Copy desk!) Anyway, an attempt to stage a match inside the Cond Nast cafeteria…
