Republicans are no longer in denial over Donald Trump’s hostile takeover of their party; how could they be? They are certainly angry—how could they not be?—but after Trump rolled through Super Tuesday practically unabated, the GOP establishment has entered the third stage of grief: bargaining.
Last night, softball superstar and failed presidential candidate Chris Christie, took a break from his regular red-faced bloviating to stand idly by as Donald Trump screamed at us about nothing. Throughout Trump’s entire speech, Chris Christie looks, objectively, like he is praying for death.
[via NBC7 in Boston, h/t DJP]
Tonight, as Chris Christie introduced Donald Trump and stood by him during his resounding victory speech, we got to witness the exact moment that the beautiful light in Chris Christie’s soul forever dimmed. Chris—it’s not too late, and no man deserves this fate. Please, blink twice for help.
Tonight’s primary results have been a mixed bag for Ted Cruz, presidential candidate and corpse recently fished out of a swimming pool. But that won’t stop his campaign from partying at the “Redneck Country Club,” a Texas venue owned by an astoundingly racist radio host.
Welcome, patriots, to what history will almost certainly see as the night America sealed its gruesome fate. That’s right—it’s Donald Trump Victory Night. And judging by the various primaries and caucuses thus far, it’s sure to be a night we’ll never forget. No matter how hard we try.
In a speech celebrating his (in all likelihood) universal defeat on Tuesday, Marco Rubio courageously admitted Donald Trump’s supremacy. “He loves to talk about polls? We are seeing in state after state: His numbers coming down, our numbers going up.”
I can’t believe he called for larger and more powerful banks! Just kidding, happy Tuesday.
On Tuesday, Bill Clinton sprinted around Massachusetts, putting in appearances at a variety of polling places, stumping for his wife, and skirting state rules for Election Day campaigning. One New Bedford woman posted a video showing long lines that accrued as voters were forced to wait for Clinton to leave.
Marco Rubio is almost certainly not going to come out of Super Tuesday a winner. This isn’t really in dispute, even by the people who work for him, who today explained to their most important funders that the Rubio campaign isn’t planning on winning any Super Tuesday states, or maybe even any states at all, ever.
After tonight, unless the Super Tuesday polling is very, very wrong, Donald Trump will have largely finished crushing the rest of the Republican presidential field, and with it the plans of the various organizations and people who are described as making up the Republican party establishment. The Republican…
"Welding, amirite?" You are, Stephen.
At today's press conference with Obama, CBS' Norah O'Donnell informed the president that Romney had called him "the most feckless president since Carter." Big time burn.
Stephen Colbert knows that Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate for President and that there's no turning back once Super Tuesday comes and goes. In preparation for the inevitability, tonight on the Colbert Report, he launched 'the Countdown to Loving Mitt.'
As Super Tuesday drags to a middle, it's worthwhile to look at the rising and occasionally falling fortunes of New York Senator Hillary Clinton, our next, cryingest president, among our nation's most unfortunately influential lunatic opinion-makers.
SUPER TUESDAY UPDATE: Voting machines in Hoboken don't work, Drudge claims no one in LA has any voting machines at all, and dozens of Wisconsinites showed up to the polls to vote early this morning despite the fact that Wisconsin's primary is not until February 19th.
New York Governor Eliot Spitzer just announced that on his ballot today, he wrote in Giants coach Tom Coughlin for President and QB Eli Manning for Vice President. Which, first of all, is not even how primary voting works. And secondly, Eli is not old enough to be president.
As usual, a Carroll Gardens elementary school bake sale (and Super Tuesday polling place!) accurately and succinctly sums up the important decision facing our nation today. Brownie or blondie? Choose wisely, America. [Wonkette]
Earlier on Today, Matt Lauer lobbed a couple softballs at John McCain, then Meredith Vieira interviewed Hillary Clinton with some tough, contentious questions about why, precisely, the former first lady hadn't just locked this goddamn nomination up already. Because she's a liar? Then Matt Lauer had a genial chat with…
