In your hot wet Friday media column: Keith Olbermann vs. the NYO, Instapaper vs. Business Insider, everyone in America hates the media, Pinch Sulzberger's birthday party, and Time International's new editor.
For a brief period in the 90s—before 9/11, before the global economic collapse, before endless wars in the Middle East—it was fashionable to "care" about the environment. (You could still get laid wearing a World Wildlife Fund t-shirt, in other words.) Now? I mean, yeah, the environment... eh.
A new survey reveals that U.S. colleges increasingly favor rich students who can pay their way without financial assistance even if they're dumber than poorer kids (unlikely). For you poor kids out there, this is good news: You can stop studying now. It doesn't matter anymore.
Muslims: scary, or just weird? The deceptively reassuring answer meant to lull you into a false sense of security is "Just weird," according to a new survey that is clearly Soft on Mohammed.
Americans: what are they fed up with now? Mexicans? Thuggish pro athletes? All those potholes? Well, let's see, sez here... America itself.
According to a transparent and successful piece of marketing linkbait bullshit survey, a full quarter of college students would give up sex in order to, let's see, [fill in the blank.]
A new survey says that practically all mothers are stressed out, no matter if they work or stay at home. No one said this was going to be easy!
One positive side effect of our entire nation being unemployed: we're spending less time at work! The Labor Department's latest annual survey of what the hell we do with all our time found that we, as a nation, work less than four hours on the average weekday—six minutes less than in 2009. Layabouts! And what are we…
Will America ever be made safe for white people? It's not looking good, according to white people. In a new survey, white Americans revealed that they are now more discriminated against than black Americans. Oh... oh my.
Kids these days just don't have the good attitude they used to. I believe the relentless diet of drugs, junk food, and pornography is really getting to them.
According to a wellbeing surveys taken by Gallup in 2010, the U.S. is the 12th-happiest country in the world. Take that, Costa Rica and Austria!
Fidelity Investments knows lots of millionaires, so they were like, "Let's survey them and see how horrible they are." The millionaires came through in a major way. Fidelity's PR team thanks you, you greedy bastards!
A new CDC survey of Americans and their people-fucking preferences contains at least two valuable pieces of information. First, that kids these days are getting laid less; "the proportion of 15- to 24-year-olds who have had some kind of sex dropped in the past decade from 78 percent to about 72 percent." And second,…
Women: always sneaking up behind men, trying to take our money. The latest confirmation comes from a new White House report on the "state of women," which confirms what you'd always suspected: women are catching up. Oh, they're still lagging—women make about 75% as much as men these days, for the same jobs—but they're…
Country living is dial-up internet living, in America!
Eight percent of U.S. consumers would rather give up food than their cable, internet, or cell phone. Smart.
Fantastic news, lazy-ass men everywhere: a semi-believable new survey says that many women are physically unable to resist jumping into bed with you if you know how to press the magic button. The one that says "Send."
According to Out magazine, anyway. In a sex survey, the mag asked participants to name the one celebrity they'd cheat on their partner with, and the top answer was Ryan Reynolds. Huh. Fine. More Richard Chamberlain for our moms then.
The internet is so popular these days! A big new survey shows that people of all ages are emailing, searching, shopping, banking, and browsing news and information online more than ever. What they aren't doing more is blogging.
Last week, 60 Minutes was boring. Why? Because there was no Andy Rooney! Luckily for us, though, Rooney was back tonight with a nonsensical rant about how much he hates surveys—even though he constantly reads them. Watch inside.
