Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

The Wall Street Journal ran a piece Wednesday profiling the odd guild of house elves whose job it is to wipe up sweat left behind by athletes in court sports like badminton, volleyball, handball and basketball. They are known as "sweat moppers." Here's what they can teach us:

In order to better address the needs of our fitness-obsessed readers, we are introducing this semi-regular column, "I of the Tiger," to address vital hardcore fitness issues of our time. Today: the journey to hardcoreness is a solitary one. Dig it.

It was ninety-something degrees in NYC today. Anthony Weiner's penis has been dominating the news for 24 hours now. Hotness besieges us on all sides! Need to beat that heat? Let's beat it together—with this handy list!

Plus-size madness! Dorky yogis! Socializing for health! Dangerous bats! Unhealthy vegans! And hardcore hotness! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—while staying hydrated!

I've long wondered why the New York Times, perhaps the world's most sophisticated news-gathering operation, writes articles about fitness that would be an embarrassment to a fifth-grade PE class. Really now. Times readers were certainly grateful that the paper of record brought its unparalleled resources to bear to…