If you were planning on taking a feline friend to Des Moines on a sightseeing trip to see whatever the hell is in Des Moines, stop. Cats (well cat, singular actually) there are being struck by the vicious porcine plague.
According to the Times, a new CDC study says between 1.8 million and 5.7 million people were infected with swine flu this past spring. Quick: We must travel back in time and warn the past that they weren't panicking enough.
So now you know it's safe to do the same for your kids. Although there is no video footage of this suspicious event, so proceed at your own risk!
The Swine Flu is either a excuse to declare martial law and enslave the white race, or it is genetically engineered plague with no cure. Either way, isn't it convenient that President Obama's daughters haven't been vaccinated?
What's more dangerous, the Swine Flu or the Swine Flu vaccine? 'Depends who you ask. Proponent of alternative medicine Bill Maher tried to make his case again this weekend.
Jennifer Aniston's in love with someone, again. Paul McCartney's son's dreams are coming true and dying all at once. Jon and Kate are still deplorable. And Courtney Hazlett calls out Melissa Rycroft. Hoorah! It's your Friday morning gossip roundup!
If you're going to eventually catch swine flu anyway, you might as well perform a little volunteer work in the process. Earlier today, Mayor Bloomberg announced a "Flu Fighters" program, which will recruit 800 volunteers to help the city spread the word about getting vaccinated for both swine flu and seasonal flu.…
Glenn Beck's doing well in the ratings these days. So well, that Bill O'Reilly doesn't mind letting his viewers know what he thinks of Beck, and that Beck doesn't mind letting his viewers know what he thinks of them. Frankness?
The deadly Mexican Pig Flu's dirtiest deed yet: Coming between you and the literal body and blood of Christ. You will pay dearly for this, heathen microbe.
Who says you can't protect yourself from swine flu and look stylish at the same time? A Japanese company is now selling a suit that supposedly protects its wearers from coming down with the illness, since the fabric is coated with titanium dioxide, a substance that kills off viruses. The $580 item doesn't cover your…
Things are getting bad down Tila Tequila way. Claudia Schiffer needs a prayer. And there's gay marriage in a certain Mad Men actor's future. Yes, it's your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!
You didn't think there was anything good that could possibly come from the spread of swine flu, did you? You were wrong! If you happen to work in one of the dozen or so office buildings owned by Trinity Real Estate, you're going to be getting free hand sanitizer starting next week. Exciting! Are you one of the lucky…
The good news: one shot of tasty swine flu vaccine is all it will take to save you from the dreaded pig virus this year! The bad news: All the medicine is going to special interests.
Is the Times getting cute with us? Months after warning us of the teen hug epidemic they are now asking if teen hugs spread swine flu.
Did you know the Department of Health and Human Services is holding a competition to see who can come up with the best public service announcement about swine flu? It is! And a New York doctor has been picked as one of the top 10 finalists. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the lyrical dexterity of Dr. John Clarke, who…
Like the Costa Rican president before him, Colombian president Alvaro Uribe has the fearsome swine flu. He came down with the symptoms during a meeting with regional leaders. Ha! And they're worried about the American military? [WaPo]
Admit it: You wrote off swine flu months ago, chalking it up to a passing fad that served as the perfect story for cable news outlets to obsess about day after day. And who could blame you? It started with such promise this spring, but then summer came and the epidemic—which clearly lost a little of its brand luster…
Right this very minute, trillions of deadly Mexican Pig Flu microbes are just cold chillin' in nooks and crannies somewhere, waiting for the fall flu season, when they will emerge and strike nearly 100,000 Americans dead. Say scientists!
The President of Costa Rica has swine flu. He vows to "carry out my work by telecommuting"—presumably from the Conde Nast building, which is the Pig Flu World Headquarters. His nation's only hope now: Flying Rabbis.
