Ah, Switzerland, the land of chocolate, cuckoo clocks and, if you ask nicely, Big Macs served with a healthy helping of cunnilingus.

Animal rights campaigners in Switzerland would appreciate it if the three percent of the country's population that eats domestic cats and dogs would kindly stop eating them, the BBC reports.

The Swiss parliament has suspended a secretary whose nude selfies and amateur porn photos, sometimes posted from inside the Federal House in Berne, made her a national sensation. The anonymous woman, referred to in the Swiss media as A., had more than 11,700 Twitter followers before she deleted her account this week.

An elderly couple in the canton of Lucerne, Switzerland have confessed to stealing money from church collection boxes for months, saying that the adrenaline rush it gave them helped cure their boredom.

Voters in Switzerland blocked a vote this afternoon that proposed instituting a countrywide minimum wage of 22 Swiss francs (roughly $25/hour) with a 76.3% majority. Switzerland currently has no minimum wage.

In America, the average CEO is paid more than 230 times an average worker's salary. In Switzerland, CEOs are paid 43 times more than the average worker. That figure is so shocking to the Swiss that they want to radically rein it in.

The Swiss really know how to kick us when we're down — while our congress is busy shutting itself down because it's run by soulless opportunists, the Swiss people have gathered enough signatures to force a referendum on whether they should guarantee $2800 in monthly income for all adults.

In the latest installment of the ongoing Swiss Handbag Saga, Oprah Winfrey has issued a formal apology to Switzerland for having to apologize on behalf of a store in Zurich for an isolated incident.

One week after Oprah Winfey told Entertainment Tonight about a run-in with an allegedly racist sales clerk in Zurich, the sales clerk is fighting back, calling Winfrey a "liar" with "absurd claims."

You'd think someone like Oprah Winfrey wouldn't have a problem going into any shop in the world to buy whatever the hell she damn well pleases. But you'd be wrong.

A member of the "Pink Panther" gang of jewel thieves escaped from a Swiss prison this week, making him the third gang member to escape since May.

A shooting at a factory close to the Swiss city of Lucerne has left at least three dead and seven injured, according to reports (Swiss authorities haven't confirmed those numbers). The killer is most likely one of the dead, police have said, and the number of deceased is most likely higher.

The Heritage Foundation has released its annual list of the world's freest economies and, wouldn't you know it, the Asia-Pacific region is number one. Hong Kong, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand are all on top while the world's largest economy, America's, barely cracks the top ten.

Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann released a statement today saying she's formally requested of the Swiss consulate to have her Swiss citizenship withdrawn effective immediately.

Michele Bachmann running for office in Switzerland? It's not as far-fetched as it seems.

Before buying that special dolphin in your life an Orbital CD this holiday season, note this: some animal rights activists say loud boom-boom music can stress out dolphins so much that they will drop dead. At a Swiss amusement park, for example, two dolphins recently died after a techno party took place just yards…