When your favorite famous black person gets arrested, PageSix.com will be there.

"When people wake up, PageSix.com will be the place they'll go to find out who hooked up at the clubs and what their favorite celebrity athlete is planning to say at his 10 a.m. arraignment. Simply put, PageSix.com is going to be the celebrity gossip addict's ultimate fix — morning, noon and night," said Chris Shaw, Vice President of Digital Media for PageSix.com.

And the site looks great (in Internet Explorer), with photos and videos almost-but-not-quite identical to the content on TMZ and OK! and UsWeekly, plus the items from the print column available in convenient "blog post" form.

Now we'll just wait for the inevitable cellphone-captured celebrity racist rant that will catapult PageSix.com to true web success.

PageSix.com

European Tabloids Still Agog Months After Child Vanishes [NYT]

Gender-Bend Shocker [NY Post]

Click to enlarge.

A couple of years ago, around the time when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were splitting up, I got hooked on celebrity weeklies like Star and Us Weekly. They were fascinating because they purported to give their readers behind the scenes access to people whose public personae were larger than life, and for a while I was really into knowing these details. Information about famous people, no matter how banal—Angelina Jolie bought a baby sweater at La Petite Tresor! Britney Spears likes chocolate-covered pretzels! Reese Witherspoon wore the same sweater three times in a week!—seemed entertaining.

But my tastes got a little bit more bloodthirsty and ravenous once I burned out on this quotidian stuff, and so did the tastes of the tabs, or so it seemed. I wanted: more cellulite! More weight winners and losers! More hitting rock bottom! And then, after I started writing about "gossip," it became far less possible to delude myself that any of the weeklies actually had privileged insights into the lives of the stars. I'd pick up Us Weekly and feel sorry for the writer who had to eke 1500 words out of a paparazzi photo that showed Reese Witherspoon frowning. "REESE AND JAKE: ON THE ROCKS?" Uh, right, either that or she just didn't feel like smiling for the camera for the thousandth time that day. The thing is, though, that even though we all know it's bullshit, the idea that we could be privy to a tiny bit of insider info is compelling.

So when Internet microcelebrities like Julia and Jakob compulsively display their dirty laundry online, it fulfills a need that celebrity culture has instilled in me and come on, admit it, possibly you too. Instead of extrapolating what's going on in these self-proclaimed fameballs' largeish heads based on pictures snapped on the way out of a party, we can read about it and read about it and read about it on their blogs, or we can watch them fight and offer them relationship tips in Vimeo comments. Instead of musing about how Jakob's immaturity probably will make Julia cry eventually, we can actually watch her tears. She's letting us! She wants us to watch.

Which is probably exactly why we should turn away.

The kids, who long ago dropped out of regular school for work-at-your-own-pace school, have sold their apparently decent shots to the Daily News and TMZ.com, among others—and, of course, are developing a reality show.

Blaine's father is a real winner, not unexpectedly. He tells the Times that at first he was apprehensive about the thought of his young son staying out till all hours, scrambling with professional paparazzi twice his age and weight. "I thought, 'My kid is going out there with a bunch of paparazzi?' But I've since come to really like a lot of them. There are some I'd be more than happy to have over for a dinner party." Hoo boy.

Actress Rose McGowan had it right, when captured on film by Austin: "What's wrong with this town? This is so wrong!" We'll give Dr. Phil two weeks to get his ass in there and then we're calling SuperNanny.

ANNA'S EX SUES OVER GAY CLAIM [AP]