NYPD officer Kenneth Moreno (pictured) and his partner are on trial for allegedly raping a drunk woman in her East Village apartment in 2008. Moreno is referred to in tabloid shorthand as "RAPE COP," which is maybe a wee bit prejudicial, but, you know, tabloids. Yesterday, Moreno took the stand in his own defense. Her…

Tabloid sex writer and bubbling vat of ill-concealed self-loathing Andrea Peyser refuses to bow to Hollywood's liberal sex standards. Maybe Jennifer Aniston is happy fucking a turkey baster—but for Andrea Peyser, only a live human male will do.

Ute Linhart (pictured) was waiting in the 28th street R train station platform Wednesday night when a crazy man pushed her into the path of an oncoming train. She suffered serious injuries, but survived. Is this good PR, or what?

Tabloid sex talker Andrea Peyser has been hearing nothing but "Hottie Banker" this and "tits on a stick" that and "hot female bodies are calling you, Andrea" for weeks now. She's sick of it. Where's the respect for large breasts?

A coterie of brave, attractive women in New York City—led by spiritual guru Julia Allison—are pledging to give up sex for upwards of two weeks in a purifying "celibacy cleanse." Like a juice cleanse, but less sperm.

Andrea Peyser's great-great-great grandparents, 1864: "Even our slave agrees: Slavery is okay!" Andrea Peyser, today: "Even my nanny agrees: Deport illegals!"

From the New York Post's celeb photos today: "Demi Moore and Susan Sarandon meet with groups working to fight child slavery in Port Au Prince, Haiti." Noble! Now let's go to the original version of that photo.

Charges against Al Sharpton's ex-wife and daughter for allegedly cussing at cops during a traffic stop have been dismissed. The New York Post reserves the right to continue charging them with being related to Al Sharpton. [NYP]

"Sex addicts...pert and pretty...Women who ogle...grab at men in a sexual fashion...dirty bastards...sex objects...I feared gang rape...millimeters from his crotch...the nastier, the grabbier, the raunchier the better...satisfying the primal urge to find places to plant their vehicles." Normal Monday. [NYP]

This hot sexxxy lesbian teacher story is rapidly evolving, and we aim to keep you, our 14 year-old audience, up-to-date with all the day's enticing developments. The latest: One teacher has been spotted hanging around with women. And looking rock-n-roll!