“If the shell isn’t fried the proper 90 seconds or if it sits for more than 15 minutes after cooking, the cheese hardens and won’t be melty enough for a proper stringy bridge between separated pieces.” The complex machinations behind the Taco Bell Quesalupa.
As American fast food breakfast innovation reaches new heights, Taco Bell’s new $1 breakfast menu manifests our nation’s deepest desire: “people really wanted bacon and they wanted it in breakfast items that cost $1.”
Taco Bell Distances Itself from the Drunk Uber Passenger It Used to Employ
Oh the shame: even Taco Bell is distancing itself from a marketing executive caught on camera drunkenly assaulting an Uber driver, explaining in a statement that the company has fired the man and “encouraged him to seek professional help.”
Taco Bell to Employee Accused of Cooking Meth at Work: Can You Not?
Police confronted an Iowa Taco Bell employee and his alleged accomplice outside of a Taco Bell around 5 a.m. Tuesday morning. What were they doing there before breakfast but after fourthmeal™? Cooking meth, or something?
Woman Angered by Bad Taco Bell Wi-Fi Allegedly Pulls Knife on Teens
A woman angered by a poor internet connection was arrested on Thursday after police say she threatened a group of teens with a knife outside an Oklahoma Taco Bell, KOKI-TV reports.
Congressional staffers yesterday enjoyed 6,000 free tacos courtesy of Taco Bell franchise owners who are lobbying Congress to “help prevent their workers from organizing a union or qualifying for employer-based healthcare.” Enjoy that horse meat, motherfuckers.
Is This Gay-Themed Taco Bell Commercial Real?
Earlier this month, a video titled “LEAKED GAY TACO BELL COMMERCIAL” appeared on YouTube. It depicts two guys consuming Taco Bell, playing skee ball, riding a Ferris Wheel, cuddling on a picnic blanket, unearthing buried treasure (?), getting married, and riding a jet-ski and a motorcycle together. And Taco Bell won’t…
Cops Drag Sad, Drunk Cyclist Away From Taco Bell Drive-Thru at 3 a.m.
In his strangely poetic mugshot, Gabriel Harris of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., appears to be the saddest man in the world, wracked with a deep and abiding pain we can hardly begin to comprehend. But was he upset at his arrest, or at being dragged away empty-handed from Taco Bell at 3 a.m.? Either seems pretty plausible…
Man Arrested for Drunkenly Groping Taco Bell Employee at Drive-Thru
A Florida man is facing a charge of misdemeanor battery after he allegedly groped a female Taco Bell employee's butt through the drive-thru window during fourthmeal Saturday morning.
Taco Bell Managers Posed as NYPD in Terrible Counterfeit Scam: Suit
Managers at two Manhattan Taco Bells cooked up the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco Supreme™ of counterfeit scams and forced at least one employee to participate under false threat of arrest, according to a lawsuit.
"Hammered" Charlie Sheen Meets a Fan at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru
Sometimes the meandering course of one's #winning finds one drunk and craving Taco Bell of an evening, so one does the natural thing and has Gary fire up the car and take one's hammered ass to the drive-thru.
Americans Claim to Hate the Fast Food Chains They Love
Americans spend close to $2 billion a day dining out, and most of that money ain't being spent at The Four Seasons, if you know what we mean. (It is being spent on cheap garbage food.) Heartbreakingly, Americans now say they loathe the fast food chains to which they've pledged their lives.
Taco Bell Spinoff Explicitly Branded With Death Symbols
Despite decades of devotion to low-quality garbage food, today's Americans think they're "too good" for a "fast food" restaurant. You wouldn't be caught dead in a "Taco Bell?" How about this rebranded fancy Taco Bell, though?
Taco Bell's latest marketing strategy is convincing consumers that Egg McMuffins represent the past, whereas "Waffle Tacos" represent the future. I suppose that's plausible.
Ronald McDonald Is Really Into Taco Bell's Breakfast
Today is the day Taco Bell makes its big, waffle-shaped push into the fast food breakfast market, and Ronald McDonald is leading the way. A whole army of Ronald McDonalds, in fact.
Taco Bell Diner Assaulted for Not Saying Excuse Me After Burping
Taco Bell is no place for forgetting your manners: A patron of the fine dining establishment told police he was choked and struck with a chair on Sunday for failing to say excuse me after belching.
Fast Food Breakfast Envelops America In Ceaseless Embrace
There is nothing that you, the consumer, love more than a paper bag filled with piping hot breakfast items purchased from one of our nation's fast food outlets. It is the only high point in the otherwise dreary days of the majority of Americans. Fortunately, fast food breakfast will now be more inescapable than ever.
Snow-Trapped Drunk Man Makes Craigslist Plea for Emergency Taco Bell
A man trapped in yesterday's snowstorm did exactly what snow-trapped people are supposed to do: He got drunk. He quickly realized, though, that he needed some Taco Bell but he knew that 1) he was too drunk to drive and B) even if he did drive, his hybrid car wouldn't make it through the snow. So he took his plight to…
Drug Dealers Call the Cops On Teen Customers Who Stole Their Weed
Cops say that two Ohio men who called 911 to report being robbed (by a group of teenagers, as they all practiced medieval sword fighting in a Taco Bell parking lot) forgot to mention that they were actually selling the teenagers weed at the time.
