Oscars are approaching, but no one wants to give us a gold statue. They are disappointed in us, because we advised them incorrectly, were insensitive, and misrepresented semi-anonymous boyfriends of celebrities.
You had a nice Valentine's Day didn't you? Anyway we sensed that you were feeling too much love and how are you supposed to feel the highs without the lows? Exactly. So without further ado, here are some very low lows: the most bizarro emails you sent us this week.
Welcome to the weekend. A weekend we'll all spend huddled inside, guzzling boxed wine and praying the power doesn't go out because god forbid we're without Netflix for a few hours. That is, except for Cord, who'll probably be trail running while he double fists tacos or whatever they do in Los Angeles.
Big weekend, guys, huh? The Super Bowl? Beyoncé's going to be there? And Jay-Z and Destiny's Child (but not Michelle) maybe? Also that guy. The one with the tattoos. He'll probably be there too, tossing the pigskin around and such?
Here we find ourselves, the end of another week. If you think about it, knowing you'll never again live the week of January 20-26, 2012 can be a little melancholy. Then again, it was the coldest week in 17 years here in New York, so fuck this week.
One of the greatest things about reading all the nasty, incoherent emails you send us each week is that I'm always on the cutting edge of the latest email trends. Oh we're doing ALL CAPS this week? Sounds great. This is the week we all stopped trying with the your/you're there/their/they're differentiation? Love it,…
If I told you we listened to Beyoncé in the office this afternoon, would you accuse us of being Illuminati? What if I told you Nick Denton has a tattoo of a pyramid on his bicep and the password to get into the office is "Baphomet?" Then would you say we were Illuminati? Well, only one of those things is true.
Welcome to the weekend. Mother always said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." Or at least my mother did. I do not think that's what your mothers said or, at least, you are not very good listeners. Here is the best you had to offer this week. And know this, Prince William may be the Douche…
As seapunk internet artist Yusuf Islam (neé Cat Stevens) says, it's a wild world. General Petraeus was schtupping his biographer for almost a year and we had no idea. Richard Nixon almost got away with Watergate. Ted Kennedy maybe probably killed a woman and was never charged. It's a lot to think about, and sometimes…
What a whacky week. We re-elected a president and survived a snowstorm, but now it's warm again? What's going on? Maybe it was just because you were all so happy that we were back, but you were feeling chatty this week. Just all of the emails: some were fun, some were sad, some were helpful, some were mad. You guess…
There was a lot to be mad about this week, we get it. We're about to select the new leader of the free world and all we could talk about were binders and amnesia. There were a lot of other maddening things this week: Mindy Meyer, knives on bottles, and oh my god we had no idea how personally some of you take a Detroit…
Predditor week has come to a close, and with it, some thoughts on Adrian Chen.
As Paul Beauregard, better known as Oscar-winning rapper DJ Paul of Three 6 Mafia, once said: "y'all haters shaking like booties up in a strip club."
You know how sometimes you'll put a yogurt in your office fridge, storing it away like a squirrel, that was specifically purchased for your breakfast on Friday morning and in the meantime it becomes this sort of beacon of light, this tiny orb pulsing with the promise of freedom and the weekend, and you wake up Friday…
Guys, still with the yahoo email accounts? Whatever you say. Here are some Grumpy Old Emails, starring your emails!
A lot of important questions were tossed at us this week: What are Gawker's politics? What does it take to get escorted out of the RNC? Does Rand Paul wear a wig? And perhaps most pressing, are we sure that Blue Ivy is the daughter of the devil? Take the weekend to consider these questions and we'll regroup after…
Lots of variety among the emails we received this week: some people shared their thoughts on recent articles, some wrote in about articles published weeks ago, and some sent us links to The New York Times. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Have a great weekend, y'all!
Only two letters this week, but what high-caliber letters they are. Both are full of advice—for Gawker and for actor Ezra Miller—and have provided a lot to think about. Have a poo-tastic weekend, everyone.
This week we violated someone's rights, championed trash, were culturally-impoverished, and encouraged the systematic murdering of all cats. All in all, a pretty solid week here in the SoHo HQ. See y'all next week!
Here is the finest hate mail of the past week, rounded up for your enjoyment. In honor of the Olympics, the letters this week are presented in order of creativity. Congratulations to spalin2008@yahoo.com, Gold Medal winner and all-around kind person.
