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New York, 5:19 AM
Fri Dec 11
59 posts in the last 24 hours

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    The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of LatestBy LatestBy
    05/28/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    She's as moral as she is beautiful.
     Reply
    LatestBy was starred LatestBy was unstarred
    Image of MrInBetween MrInBetween
    05/28/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    How can Caroline and the other bitches get all high-and-mighty about the cocaine/whoring/stripping/kidnapping/extortion-rap past of Garbanzo when their own father was found stuffed in the trunk of a Lincoln Continental? I predict they'll all be most offended that Garbanzo passed herself off as "Danielle." Using your stripper-name to snag a rich husband is a faux pas in Franklin Lakes.
     Reply
    MrInBetween was starred MrInBetween was unstarred
    Image of Topsyjane Topsyjane
    05/28/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    "Uribe said with a sigh" - new band name?
     Reply
    Topsyjane was starred Topsyjane was unstarred
    Image of Lazy Susan Lazy Susan
    05/28/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    I like her old nose better...


    ...oh!

     Reply
    Lazy Susan was starred Lazy Susan was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    The presence of real crack whores would make New Jersey tolerably interesting.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of JacquesPaysan JacquesPaysan
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    Cocaine is a hellufa drug.
     Reply
    JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred
    Image of gladys_kravitz gladys_kravitz
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    That reads like a Crackerjacks flashback without the flair in the writing. Except it's true.


    Coke always terrified me so, while I wasn't an 80's coke whore, I did my best with double fisting long island iced teas, Jagermeister shots and an arsenal of Today sponges.

     Reply
    gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred
    Image of Sargasm Sargasm
    05/27/09

    @gladys_kravitz: I was a little horrified until I got to "Long Island Iced Teas."
     Reply
    Sargasm was starred Sargasm was unstarred
    Image of gladys_kravitz gladys_kravitz
    05/27/09

    @Sargasm: Oh my God, that is too funny! What a dirty mind you have!
     Reply
    gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred
    Image of Tara Incognita Tara Incognita
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    Those pics? Way too pageanty.
     Reply
    Tara Incognita was starred Tara Incognita was unstarred
    Image of theysaidwhat theysaidwhat
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    Richard,


    One of Jezebel's commenters scanned those pages and posted the link this morning. You could have just gotten it via Jezebel. Theacracy is the commenter.

     Reply
    theysaidwhat was starred theysaidwhat was unstarred
    Image of Carol Gardens Carol Gardens
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    There's really something beautiful about the phrase "a club called Shakers in Carlstadt".
     Reply
    Carol Gardens was starred Carol Gardens was unstarred
    Image of pmarble pmarble
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    Maybe she's Crackerjack's long lost sister?
     Reply
    pmarble was starred pmarble was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    05/27/09

    @pmarble: They probably turned tricks on the same stretch of freeway or something, for a time.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of crookedE crookedE
    05/27/09

    @pmarble: My first thought too! Isn't it strange that Garbanzo has actually LIVED the life that Richard so brilliantly and carefully crafted for our beloved Countess.
     Reply
    crookedE was starred crookedE was unstarred
    Image of pmarble pmarble
    05/27/09

    @crookedE: Richard recapping this is going to be so meta.
     Reply
    pmarble was starred pmarble was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    05/27/09

    @pmarble: I was going to say the same thing! she IS Crackerjacks come to life. Someone in casting at Bravo was clearly a fan of Richards recaps.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of randomnessish randomnessish
    05/28/09

    @pmarble: wait...does this mean...is Richard going to mold her into a Countess? My head will explode.
     Reply
    randomnessish was starred randomnessish was unstarred
    Image of Silverbackne Silverbackne
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    well that's embarrassing
     Reply
    Silverbackne was starred Silverbackne was unstarred
    Image of pmarble pmarble
    05/27/09

    @Silverbackne: HA!
     Reply
    pmarble was starred pmarble was unstarred
    Image of shag_carpet_bomb shag_carpet_bomb
    05/28/09

    @pmarble: on the other hand, she was mentioned in a book! Who doesn't want some ex boyfriend to write about them? WHO???
     Reply
    shag_carpet_bomb was starred shag_carpet_bomb was unstarred
    Image of kamikaze kittenball kamikaze kittenball
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    t find the worst thing about it is that the other women are so catty and mean-spirited (in true jersey girl fashion) that they judge her solely on her past mistakes. so she was a coke whore stripper in the 80s. so she still seems not all there now and is a shameless golddigger. what is up your ass so far that makes you so hateful and vindictive to this woman? she's clearly not trying to hurt anybody. if you don't like her just ignore her. she's annoying at worst.
     Reply
    kamikaze kittenball was starred kamikaze kittenball was unstarred
    Image of rednrowdy rednrowdy
    05/28/09

    @kamikaze kittenball: yeah, her past really doesn't affect them, even if they were all friends. and who are we kidding - it's not like bravo isn't compensating these ladies for their time.
     Reply
    rednrowdy was starred rednrowdy was unstarred
    Image of milominderbinder milominderbinder
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    i think we need to show a little bit more respect to the first female recipient of a black amex in new jersey she got it before MADONNA you guys, thats some serious business.
     Reply
    milominderbinder was starred milominderbinder was unstarred
    Image of shag_carpet_bomb shag_carpet_bomb
    05/28/09

    @milominderbinder: I have a black COSTCO card, but so does everyone else, who pays $25 extra to buy bulk toilet paper.
     Reply
    shag_carpet_bomb was starred shag_carpet_bomb was unstarred
    Image of DorothyBarker DorothyBarker
    05/27/09

    In reply to The Real Stripping Coke Fiend of New Jersey
    "She has no morals, but she's a good person" may be the greatest sentence ever written. (Ever written by someone other than Richard, that is...)
     Reply
    DorothyBarker was starred DorothyBarker was unstarred
    Image of rednrowdy rednrowdy
    05/28/09

    @DorothyBarker: "she has no morals, but she's a good person" should be immediately followed with "i don't mean that in a BAD way".
     Reply
    rednrowdy was starred rednrowdy was unstarred
    Image of SugartitsMcFirecrotch SugartitsMcFirecrotch
    05/28/09

    @DorothyBarker: You sure that's not a lyric from Skynrd??
     Reply
    SugartitsMcFirecrotch was starred SugartitsMcFirecrotch was unstarred
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