Gawker: Talk Shows

Washington Mutual Will Do Anything For Your Business

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:56:02 EDT

Pope-hating straight talker Bill Maher is seriously considering putting some money in failing Washington Mutual now that they're offering free blow jobs with every account. Click to watch the sadly plausible series of fake ads that get worse and worse until we're all broke and can't afford a blow job anyhow.

Evil Omarosa Makes Wendy Williams Look Reasonable

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:22:32 EDT

So what's going on with hip hop radio queen Wendy Williams' new morning TV talk show these days? Strife, anger, and war, that's what! You can't say Williams isn't a pro. She knows she has a reputation for evil herself, so she went out and found one of the most widely despised semi-celebrity figures in America—ex-Apprentice star and insane person Omarosa—and invited her on the show yesterday. Chaos ensued! Highlights and the very special video, after the jump.

As soon as Omarosa came out, she was offended (no idea why). Then Wendy Williams tried to take Omarosa's book to show the audience, and Omarosa snatched it back (no idea why). Then, despite the best efforts of Wendy to be reasonable, the sniping continued throughout the interview, like so:

W: And you are rich. That is what you said on the BET red carpet.

O: And I represent my community well. I give back more to my community than anyone that I know. So if that’s being ABW, you are reinforcing stereotypes. That’s important for you not to do. Cause you don’t know. You really don’t.

W: Listen, you’re not my type Omarosa, and let me tell you…

O: Trust me.

W: Twenty two years I’ve been doing what I’m doing…

O: But don’t be fake. Because what happens is you have guests on your show and then you go on your radio show and talk smack instead of doing it when they are sitting on the couch.

W: I’m doing it right here.

O: I don’t have to be your type, but let me be clear. Been there, done that.

Here's the video, which is fairly entertaining. If Williams can just get Dick Cheney and some sort of convicted killer to come on next, her reputation will be restored!

Magical Oprah Endorsement Secrets Revealed

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:31:00 EDT

Oprah is the most important person in the world, singlehandedly driving American book-buying and butt cream choices. Ad Age has a monster article today about "How to Get Your Brand on 'Oprah,'" which is the most important task facing American marketers everywhere at any given time. And after thousands of words, the magazine nails the secret to landing your widget in this "pinnacle of product publicity": get Oprah to like you, or something!

Some brands, like Dove, spend millions in advertising with Oprah, and then get a lot of mentions on her shows; other brands spend just as much, and don't get mentioned. Other brands are forced to give hundreds of thousands of dollars (or more) worth of free merchandise for Oprah to give away to her audience. But to save you all quite a bit of time, here's the fundamental trick:

So how do you get your brand on "Oprah"? It helps a whole lot if Oprah likes your brand or its ads. It helps more still if Oprah's producers like you. And it possibly helps even more if Oprah likes you or the person endorsing your brand.

Change "Oprah" to "voters," and this is also how you get elected president!

[Ad Age]

Julia Allison Vs. Howard Kurtz: Who Has Better Hair?

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:03:32 EDT

Here, finally, is a video clip of Julia Allison's Sunday appearance on Howard Kurtz's CNN media extravaganza, Reliable Sources. I'm not somebody who can detect human emotion, but doesn't it look like Howie has a crush on her? You can really see it in his eyes. Click to watch the instantly classic clip, which includes Julia's request that all you haters "go for it!"

Oprah Followers Drape Themselves In Rags Of Their Idol

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:34:09 EDT

Oprah is scary. There's no denying it. She essentially runs the foremost happy cult in America, surpassing even Martha Stewart at her pre-prison height of popularity. So it's not odd, we guess, that her devotees want to buy all types of tchotchkes with her menacing "O" logo stamped on them like a gang sign for suburban women. But is it really necessary to orgasmically revel in the sweat-stained experience of wearing her old clothes?

The Times describes the portion of Chicago's "Oprah Store" devoted to items of clothing supposedly worn by the godlike talk show host herself—shoes pants, suits, and who the hell knows what else.

"The feeling is, Oprah had this on, and now, I'm wearing it?" Ms. Hoy explained over lunch near the store last week. "When you go in there, you just feel great, like you are somebody, like Oprah is touching you."
Ms. Hoy was so moved by the experience that she bought a $40 cream-colored blouse that she may never wear out of the house, mainly because of the tag, which says: "Harpo Inc. hereby certifies that the item to which this tag is attached is a genuine garment from the closet of Oprah Winfrey."

Some of the items, admittedly, have never been worn. It seems that Ms. Winfrey is like everyone else when it comes to impulse purchases and occasional overstock. But Ms. Hoy was thrilled that her purchase showed slight underarm stains, proof positive that Ms. Winfrey's underarms had been there.

[NYT]

Roseanne Barr Discusses The Unspeakable

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:57:24 EDT

When we got this clip in an email titled "Roseanne Barr Vaginal Rejuvenation," we gagged and choked back a sudden upsurge of bile in our throat. And just retyping that now, for you, we've had to suppress the urge to upchuck once again. But it didn't seem right to keep this 30-second clip all to ourselves. It features portly loudmouth Roseanne on Craig Ferguson's talk show, discussing, you know, what we just said. She even makes what would be a decent joke coming from someone else, but with her saying it, it just seems totally unnecessary and uncalled for. If you do choose to watch the clip below, you'll have to go wash your brain off. Just try not to form a mental picture.

Michael Eisner, Titan Of Talk

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:31:07 EDT

We love the fact that Michael Eisner, the former Disney CEO and once one of the most feared men in the media business, was reduced to staking his claim for media influence with only his shitty little chat show on CNBC. It's almost as satisfying as when former New Yorker editor and dressed up gossip hound Tina Brown had to stake her claim for influence with a shitty little chat show on CNBC. Fantastic schadenfreude for the unsuccessful masses. In Eisner's latest hard-hitting, needle-moving interview, he tracks down designer Vera Wang and gets the scoop on her Olympic ice skating dreams, and her thoughts on wedding dresses. Hey Mike, work like this is why they RE-broadcast you at midnight!

MICHAEL EISNER: How old were you when you started skating?
VERA WANG:I was probably about seven when I started competitive skating.

MICHAEL EISNER:And when did you retire?

VERA WANG:I retired when I was 19.

MICHAEL EISNER:And this was your life?

VERA WANG:This was my entire life. I skated seven days a week, probably every day of the year.

MICHAEL EISNER:And your goal was to make the Olympics?

VERA WANG:My goal was to represent the United States and, you know, see our flag go up— at the Olympic games, yes. And I failed. (LAUGHTER) Like I failed at many other things. That was just the first failure.

......

MICHAEL EISNER:what would be the most expensive wedding dress that anybody's ever spent? I don't wanna—

VERA WANG:Think probably the most expensive— dress I have ever been done was a dress that—actually didn't get worn at the wedding but was— Jennifer Lopez's first engagement. Engagement, wow, it's really— her— yes, it was her engagement to Ben Affleck.

MICHAEL EISNER:And she never wore it?

VERA WANG:No. But that was a dress that probably—

MICHAEL EISNER:Did she (UNINTEL) back to you?

VERA WANG:—was the most expensive (LAUGHTER) dress. I mean, every (UNINTEL) of it was a couture fabric. And I mean, I think all in all, there were 18 tiers. So, it was really probably far and away, the most expensive and time-consuming to sew and—

MICHAEL EISNER:So, we'll have to put her in a movie where she marries somebody, so we—

VERA WANG:Right.

MICHAEL EISNER:—can put the dress on her.

VERA WANG:Absolutely.

MICHAEL EISNER: And—

VERA WANG:Absolutely for Jennifer, yeah.

Regis Philbin Has No Idea Who You Are, But Would Like to Yell At You

Richard — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:16:09 EST

Poor Regis Philbin. All old and befuddled and never having any idea what's going on. Save, of course, the occasional moment when some dim spark will fire in his brain and he'll remember a few tidbits that his producer fed him before an interview. Today Regis and Live! co-host Kelly Ripa chatted with The Hills' Lauren Conrad about being on a reality show. Regis exasperatedly demanded explanation for her break-up with ex-boyfriend Jason. Then, after Kelly mentioned Heidi Montag, Lauren's ex-best friend, Reeg plaintively, and without explanation, intoned that he misses old Heidi. Finally, out of nowhere he remembered that Montag was on an episode of Jimmy Kimmel in which she said that she prays for Lauren. Regis reminded Lauren of this, in bellowing fashion, without any sort of follow-up question. It must be so awkward to be a guest on this show. Kelly, I never thought I'd say this, but you're a saint. Video after the jump.

Latter Daytime Saints

Richard Lawson — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:35:23 EST

The Mormons are on the rise! Mitt Romney is showing good numbers in Florida, and Marie Osmond has just announced that she's going to have a syndicated talk show in 2009. This is not to be confused with earlier talk show "Donny and Marie", which featured her little-bit rock 'n roll brother. Osmond is optimistic and ready for the challenge, saying boldly, naively, stupidly: "You can't lie on TV. It's about talking, communicating, and being part of everyone's lives." Tell that to Mitty! [Variety]

Rachael Ray's War on Couch Talk

Chris Mohney — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 11:15:35 EDT

Food Network perky hellion and FHM foodsex model Rachael Ray will get her own half-baked talk show in September, and she promises to cut out all the "deep discussions" that ruin current examples of the genre. Also verboten are "finger wagging," "makeovers of 20-year-olds," "experts," and "crying." Ray wishes to distinguish her show as "kitchen table talk" as opposed to "couch talk," which just gets too damned cerebral and heavy. "I'm grossly unqualified for every job I ever had," chirps Ray, happily demonstrating and celebrating the fact that once you've been on TV for one thing, you can be on TV for anything else.

What's cooking: a new talk show [NYDN]