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par3
03/17/09

In reply to Vampons
subliminal phallic symbol: his nose. we can't talk vagina's without seeing penis.
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par3
03/17/09

@par3: vaginas (i only just learned that 'vagina' does no exist in plural form! no 'vaginas'). damn spell checker.
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VoxPopuli
03/17/09

In reply to Vampons
Can we do something about Toothy Vile's pores here? Or are those freckles? Who ever heard of a freckly vampire with tampy teeth?
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TroisFilles
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Can you zoom into his eyes to see what's embedded in the art? You did read Hidden Persuaders and Subliminal Seduction, didn't you? Naked women in the ice cubes?
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VoxPopuli
03/17/09

@TroisFilles: Ha - I wondered about that too. But I also may have been trying to avoid looking at his tampon teeth.
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Carol Gardens
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Seems hoax-y to me. But it's not on Snopes.
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SultanaEleusis
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Those look like peppermint stick fangs to me. Candy-ass vampire!
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Tart of Darkness
03/17/09

@SultanaEleusis: Those are the special grooves that soak up blood and help the tampon conform to your vag. In real life they look like grooves.
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Lazy Susan
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
How long do you suppose was spent on choosing the length of the sideburns?
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gawkimo
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Reminds me of a TV tampon ad that used to run in Mexico when I lived there in the 90s:

Open with woman standing over corpse of her boyfriend she's just killed. Body is in pool of blood.

Cut to cops running up a walkway toward a house.

Cut to woman dragging corpse into closet. She sees the blood on the ground, picks up a tampon, wipes up the blood.

Cut to woman answering door, cops peer in, but they don't see any sign of murder -- you know, because the blood is all wiped up.

This spot ran for months on Televisa.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
So, wait, is o.b. coming out with a new vampire applicator so you don't have to use your bare hands anymore? If so, I'm down.
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scroll_lock
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Can't be real. They're just jerking our string.
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contradicto
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
God damn it, Twilight.
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Spirit Fingers
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
I'm having a problem reconciling the Johnson & Johnson vampire-in-your-cooch ad from the same people who bring you the No Tears Baby Shampoo ads.

I'm thinking the Johnson folks have impure thoughts about biting baby vaginas.
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Tart of Darkness
03/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: Consider that there have been some recalls of the No Tears Baby Shampoo for some kind of contaminant. Hmmmmmmmmm.
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rajmahall
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Speaking as your Friendly Radical Feminist (TM), I don't care for the ad. I think a lady should be allowed to stick what she needs to up her courage without any implication of violence. Or society could agree that it's cool for us to bleed everywhere, whichever.
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ambitious
03/16/09

@rajmahall: Here here. Except for the bleed every which way part. Diva Cup.
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Kosar Söze
03/17/09

@rajmahall: Speaking as a Procrastinating Graduate Student (WTF), that vampire should replace one of his (tangs) with a suppository. I think that make a lot more efficient crotch bite, and would also be a better reason for spewing shit. Or society could go read jezebel, whichever.
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par3
03/17/09

@SnarkTwain: so a medical version of the 'shocker' derived by mouth? groundbreaking.
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BadUncle
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
So, if he has tampon fangs ("tangs?"), can I use his molars as blister patches for my feet?
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FormerEnglishMajor
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Somehow, "Kotex The Impaler" doesn't have the same ring to it.
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HiredGoons
03/16/09

In reply to Vampons
Clearly will be using a dental-dam.
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