See the shopping bags in this picture? The stuff inside is worth more than your college education. Are Annette Bening and Warren Beatty on the rocks? Will Christina Hendricks do nude scenes? Thursday gossip asks hard questions.

J.Lo's assistants aren't allowed significant others or vacations. Fred Armisen dumped Elisabeth Moss for a younger SNL cast member. Montana Fishburne explains the weird spots on her butt. Naomi Campbell cheats on her taxes. Thursday gossip rules with fear.

Lady Gaga crowd surfs in pasties and fishnet, and gets licked. Dina Lohan plans a family garage sale. Katy Perry's new song is about how bad her ex-boyfriend was in bed. Monday gossip is orally fixated.

The Salahis have a party at a gay bar! Bob Barker is scared of pregnant women. Teresa Giudice is selling her suit of armor. Taylor Momsen screwed a priest (just kidding). Sunday's Gossip Roundup is toad-ally frog-some.

White House Party Crasher Michaele Salahi is accusing Whoopi Goldberg of "outrageous abuse" for bursting into Salahi's dressing room after her appearance on The View and "screaming and dropping the F-bomb." Outrageous!

That horrible Michaele Salahi woman says she plans to auction off the dress she wore to crash a White House state dinner and donate the proceeds to charity. Of course the sale coincides with her reality television debut.

Tareq and Michaela Salahi will not be ignored. America's most famous uninvited guests are writing a book with pedophile-nabbing reporter Diane Dimond. It will feature "behind-the-scenes" details from the time they caused a national disaster by social-climbing too hard. [P6]

When Michaele and Tareq Salahi crashed the White House State dinner, we all assumed this meant they would no longer be in the upcoming Real Housewives of D.C. But the producers realized the Salahis were the only thing they had.

Were Michaele and Tareq Salahi trying to crash the White House state dinner last night when their limo was stopped by the Secret Service? Are they really that ballsy? And why was there a camera crew with them?

[Michaele and Tareq Salahi testified before the House Homeland Security Committee in Washington today. They plead the fifth and refused to answer questions about crashing a White House state dinner in November. Image via Getty]

• The Casey Johnson saga continues: Yesterday, Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips, both of whom were pals of the late heiress, showed up at Tila Tequila's house to take possession of Casey's two dogs. A screaming fight ensued, and the police had to be called in to mediate, since Tequila claimed the two women were…

As was inevitable: White House gatecrashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi will host Pure Nightclub party next Saturday. Their appearance fee: a slightly pathetic $5000.

The White House gatecrashers story has got legs. Tonight we learn that a third person crashed the White House state dinner that fateful Nov. 24th night. His name is Carlos Allen, and he is a D.C. party promoter. (Of course!)

The Washington Post dispatched dozens of writers and researchers to investigate Tareq and Michaele Salahi, and discover their motivations for gatecrashing the White House. Here's a de facto guide on how to live like a billionaire for no money.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the couple that crashed the White House state dinner last month and remain under investigation by a Congressional committee, may not get their chance to appear on Bravo's Real Housewives of Washington DC. The network is now reportedly thinking about giving them their own reality show. [NYP]

• There's both good and bad news for Mischa Barton. The bad: She's reportedly drinking again and was seen "knocking back shots and drinking margaritas" earlier this week. (As you may remember, that sort of behavior led Mischa to spend some time in the hospital this past summer.) The good news: She supposedly looked…

• The most genetically blessed child in the world has arrived. Supermodel Gisele Bundchen and husband Tom Brady are the parents of a bouncing baby boy, although they haven't divulged his name yet. [People]
• He's been selling off his homes left and right to pay off the millions he owes in back taxes. Now Nic Cage is…

Michaele and Tareq Salahi generated a week's worth of headlines for crashing the state dinner in Washington a couple of weeks ago. But they're hardly the only ones. According to a new report, there have been at least 90 breaches of White House security over the past three decades. [NYP]

With politicians and pundits calling for blood, it was only a matter of time before there'd be some serious fallout from last week's crashing of the White House state dinner. Now there is. Three Secret Service officers were placed on administrative leave today over the security breach. And more trouble is brewing for…